Customer Reviews

Advice to a Young Wife from an Old Mistress

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

Reading this book is like getting good advice from a close friend. Not only does the author have extremely good insight on relationships, but she also knows what it means to be happy in life whether you are by yourself or involved with another person. The most impressive facet of the book is that the author has realized that there is no one right way to live and thus manages to convey her ideas in such a way that no matter what the reader's mindset is at the outset, each and every person will leave the book with a slightly different and equally poignant message. Anyone in a serious relationship and considering questions about monogamy and lifetime committment should definitely read this book. I know that it will profoundly effect the way I approach my relationships in the future and I think its words will give more that just a few clues on the mysterious realms of love and happiness.

Don't be fooled by the title: this book isn't just for old mistresses or young wives. Beautifully spoken - you get the feeling that the old mistress is talking to you - the book moves and touches, giving you a glimpse of yourself more than once. Several times I found myself stopping, reflecting, and smiling to myself at the profundity of the book. Her insights into the strengths and traps of marriages and fundamentally each person's decision to be responsible for his or her own choices in life brings many blurred life lines into focus. I would recommend this book to everyone who wants a better understanding of how love works in the real world.

Wonderfull book. I am a young man who recently ended a relationship with a much older woman. This book helped me to understand why. In the end, we are only responsbile for ourselves, make ourselves worthy of love, open to love. You can't change others, you can only change yourself, stand back and hope and pray for magic to come into your life. And if it doesn't....then sadily, it was not meant to be. Love is not for sissys. It is hard, hard work. But it is wonderfull stuff and once you've tasted it...it's hard to go back.

This book has turned my head around concerning marriage, love and sex. Even at 58 years old, she taught me about things that I always had questions about but was unable to even formulate the REAL question so I could deal with a long term marraige that has become boring. I now have direction and purpose. This is a must read for all genders and ages if you want to, really live life.

My copy of this book is tattered, the print on my favorite passages nearly rubbed away from all the times I refer back to them. I've tried to be a wife and a mistress to one man, sometimes not being good at either but this book reminds me of what a good marriage should be - a place where you retain something of your before-marriage self, a place where you learn and grow, not attempt to hold on or be held back. This book consistently reminds me that in any decision in your marriage, the principal question should be what do YOU want? The ending is one I love - When one is young and a new wife, it is easy to forget that the first and last requirement is to be a woman...

Love this when I read it 30+ years ago and still do. Often recommend it to young women now. Favorite quote when she says "you make me so happy" and he replies, "no ,don't make responsible for your happiness". Profound impact then and now.

Very beautifully written. I won't write much but I will just say how profoundly this book is changing the way I perceive my own marriage. As other reviewers have stated, the Old Mistress remarks that so many people live and order their lives striving for the ultimate culmination of marriage. Then what? Life goes on. There are more chapters in the book. Why stop here? In order for a relationship to be healthy and valid, more than one personality must exist. Two real individuals contribute to the health and longevity of a marriage/relationship. Wives should not lose themselves and/or their identities once the marriage has begun.

No matter your views of extramarital relationships, this book has very profound advice for women, single or married; and it boils down to a few simple philosophies:

1.) Love yourself completely. Not the vain, self-centered "love" that manipulates and depletes the other person, but the deep confidence of knowing that you are worthy and lovable just the way you are with all your assets as well as your flaws. Love flees from those that desperately grasp at it, but almost demands your attention when you are at peace with yourself and others;

2.) Only you are responsible for your own happiness; which is a burden you have no right to force upon your partner;

3.) Have your own life and hobbies and develop some marketable skills. Iron sharpens iron. Two people who bring their deepest passions and interests to the relationship keep the fire going;

4.) Know that no matter how long the relationship lasts, you will be survive when it is over.

Every time that I lend this book out, it never comes back to me.
Every woman that I have lent it to seems to permanently adopt this novel because of its candor and honestly that is so lacking in how we view relationships in todays society.
It is a great reference book that I come back to time and again and would make it mandatory reading for all couples.

This is such a lovely little book and has such wisdom. It shows how to balance work and play, have passion without being overly attached, how to give relationship the time and deep significance that it yearns for and deserves, and how to take responsibility for oneself. A bit sad, but realistic. A classic.