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Afraid of the Dark

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Devlin, Michelle. Afraid of the Dark. Baltimore: AmErica House. Manuscript copy. ... A Dark Look at Drugs and Self Abuse

Afraid of the Dark is a fascinating view of the obsessive, compulsive behavior of a woman who continues to "use," even while undergoing therapy. The story is told almost entirely in first person dialogue. How could one person survive so many different medications day after day? How long will Alex stand by her? He is either an impossible-to-believe husband or a saint, to continue to be supportive.
Ali continues through the entire book to deny her dependency on alcohol, prescription pills, marijuana, claiming she is not an addict. While seeing two doctors, entering rehab, lying to friends, the reader is given a dark look at what Ali considers her own business with how she lives her own life.
The details of Ali's day; housework, connecting with her dealer, deceiving her husband, take the reader along as her days crawl painfully by.
Ali spends every session with the doctors rehashing the blame, the shame and anger, rage and guilt of sexual abuse that began when she was nine. Until she allows herself to remember her childhood, she will continue to need her drugs to drag through her day. Rehab is a dreaded result, but Ali can only tolerate rehab by using drugs before and after.
Her revelation of the abuse of her step-father and older cousin, are almost too devastating to read. When she begins cutting herself, but keeping it a secret from everyone, and obviously feeling no pain, she has to go into a drug center. This self-abuse has been referred to as "the new anorexia."
The ending offers a resolution, but very little hope of her eventual cure. The reader is compelled to stay with Ali through her "bouts of craziness and moments of sanity."

Ali Connery is young, attractive, married to a wonderful husband and appears to have a satisfying job. But her perfect world is falling apart, as she continues to fall into the abyss of pills, marijuana and alcohol addiction. When Ali continues to have nightmares regarding her abusive childhood, her husband suggests that she seek a professional for counseling and therapy.

As Ali roller coasts from a Therapist to a Psychiatrist, the reader quickly realizes that Ali really doesn't want help as she continues the yo-yo cycle of falling off the wagon so often that it becomes ridiculous and rudely annoying. Actually, Ali possesses both of those traits along with being one-dimensional and self-destructive. Since she was the main character, I kept looking and expecting some redeeming quality but unfortunately none was forthcoming. So...I ended up liking all of the other characters and truly disliking Ali.

Afraid of the Dark has a strong premise but the execution needs improvement. The story was plot-driven but the subject matter really called for more character development. I wanted Ali's childhood abuse to be explored further and more rationale provided as to why. I wish that Ali showed at least once that she wanted to be helped. I commend Devlin on a gramatically well-structured book; however, I hope that future reads are more compelling, in-depth and that the characters are better developed.

Yasmin
APOOO BookClub

This book takes you through every emotion as you follow Ali's struggle to cope with a world that has tried to destroy her. I could not put it down.

A MUST READ for every victim or loved one touched by sexual abuse, drug or alcohol addiction or anyone who's ever questioned their own sanity! A compelling story that grabs you at page one and carries you to the last page. Impossible to put down!

While reading this book, it was hard to tear away from it. Ali is, I'm sure, like so many other people that feel they are doomed forever. Through the skillful writing of Michelle Devlin, you feel you are right there, living every part of Ali's turmoil.

Michelle brings Ali to life in this great book! Read it for yourself to see what some people are going through every day. This is a very wonderfully written book. I recommend it very highly.

This touching novel is based on real life experiences and continualy amazes the reader with its insight and self discovery. Afraid of the dark for most of her 29 years, Ali Connery faces and deals with her fears and nightmares through the insistence of her patient, ever-loving husband. Through
a whirlwind ride of discouraging memories and drug and alcohol abuse, she labors to discover the sweet, lovable person buried inside the trashheap of her mind. The writing is clear, unburdened with sentimentality, and easy to read.

Afraid Of The Dark by Michelle Devlin is the story of a woman trying to learn
how to battle the demons of her childhood. Ali Connery, the main character in
Afraid, decides to seek therapy after being afraid of the dark and many other
things for many years. When she begins therapy she shares details about her
childhood, which was filled with sexual and drug abuse.

Ali's story is a repetitive one of insanity and denial about her chemical
addiction. She flounders through life in a drugged state, denying her addiction
and trying to numb the pain of her past. While she is under the care of a
therapist and psychiatrist, she resists treatment due to her reluctance to deal
with the levels of hurt that she's been burying for years.

Afraid Of The Dark is a decent book. It adequately shows the cycle of addiction
from its possible causes, treatment options, and the denial that often plague
many who suffer from it. What the book falls short of doing is telling the
whole story. Ali has had an ugly life and she continues to perpetuate its
ugliness with her destructive behavior. Anyone from the Mental Health field who
reads this book will spend time diagnosing Ali and empathizing with her
treatment team and support circle. This book would be a good read for beginning
students in Social Work and Addiction who would benefit from seeing an
effective portrait of a dual diagnosed addict. However, the novel would have
been more effective if there was a successful example of the recovery and
treatment process as well.

Reviewed by Diane Marbury (HonestD)

I was caught up by the main character, Ali, from page one.This book portrays a woman desperately trying to save herself from demons she has fought for many years. One cannot help but be moved by Ali's struggles for her sanity. Ms. Devlin makes you think, and makes it interesting in the process. Ali maintains a sense of humor throughout her ordeals, and the reader can't help but be on her cheering team. WAY TO GO, Ms. Devlin! This is a book sure to help other people seek the treatment they need in order to deal with their own experiences.