Customer Reviews

Aftershock: Help, Hope and Healing in the Wake of Suicide

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

We lost our son in June (2007) to suicide. He was 16. This is the #1 resource we have used so far to help us make it through these dark days. Grief is not something you "go through" or "heal" from..... it is something that becomes a permanent part of your being. It is like growing a new and unfamiliar body part. You must let it become part of you and rely on God to learn how to accept it.

Thank you SO much to the authors for knowing how important this was to write. IDEA: I read this book 3 times before fully digesting it. The third time, I highlighted certain parts that I felt were pertinent to my son. I also wrote notes in the margins. Next, my mother read it (in one night, cover to cover).... and used a different colored highlighter and also wrote notes in the margins. We have now passed it onto his best friend who is doing the same.... with a different colored highlighter. It is our way of sorting through my son's very complicated brain and trying to make sense of his death. It is a structured method of sharing our knowledge of him, and why on Earth he chose death over life. It has truly helped all of us. My husband will read it at some point, and someday our younger children will read it.... with the wisdom and knowledge from those of us who knew and understood their brother the best.

I highly HIGHLY recommend this book. I don't think I would be doing this well (not that I am doing great!) at this point without it. God's truth and wisdom in my darkest days.

Jennifer

This is an incredibly helpful book for which, sadly, there long has been a tremendous need. How I wish it had been available thirty or forty years ago. Silence too often follows suicide, which only delays and compounds the challenges of grieving such a loss. The authors rightly stress how vital it is that survivors talk about what has happened. This book is a powerful aid and encouragement in doing so. The earthquake metaphor works beautifully throughout; surely one's landscape is forever changed after a suicide, and in its aftermath it takes a long time for survivors to feel safe. Of the myriad after effects of suicide - including survivor guilt, fear and societal suspicion - all are eloquently articulated. The book's contents are broken up into manageable bites for readers who may be able to focus for short periods. The section on how to talk to children about suicide (and the importance of honesty) was particularly moving and very clear and helpful. Several personal stories are interspersed throughout the text and the variety of voices and perspectives enriches what is already an invaluable book. This is the book I will put into the hands of both survivors and those who want to offer the sort of help that is most needed.

David Cox and Candy Arrington have written a long-needed book. For decades, suicide has been the death no one talks about. AFTERSHOCK dispels the many misconceptions about suicide, including the belief that people who talk about suicide usually don't follow through. Or that when depression lifts, suicide is no longer a concern.

The earthquake analogy used thoughout the book is fitting. Like an earthquake, suicide leaves immediate devastation; its damaging effects are strongest at the "epicenter," the family; and aftershocks continue to be felt. The aftershocks of suicide, the authors say, are isolation, anger, guilt, rejection, betrayal, grief, and loss. AFTERSHOCK explains how to deal with each of these emotions.

Especially important is the section on explaining a death by suicide to children. Suggestions for suicide intervention and for starting a support group of survivors of suicide are also included. Chapter 3 contains excellent advice for recognizing the symptoms of suicidal behavior in teens and responding effectively.

The authors use the term survivor as a person who has lost a friend or loved one to suicide and also as someone who has attempted suicide and failed. Both will find practical help and Biblically-based encouragement in AFTERSHOCK. Pastors and counselors will also benefit from reading this exceptional book.

How do survivors of suicide escape feelings of guilt, fear, frustration, abandonment, and anger? How do they begin to heal and rebuild your life? AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide is a resource to help start the process. This book contains stories of real people who are survivors of suicide. Their losses, struggles, and triumphs will teach others. AFTERSHOCK will walk with survivors on a journey - a path they did not choose. Each year millions of lives are affected when individuals from all socio-economic levels, ethnic groups, and religions take their lives by suicide.

AFTERSHOCK is easy reading, full of helpful information, not only for suicide survivors but those around them. Readers will be encouraged and reminded that they are not alone in their grief. Your connection to suicide may not be the personal loss of a loved one, but you want to understand and minister to someone dealing with a suicide loss. In AFTERSHOCK, Cox and Arrington will give you practical ways to help. AFTERSHOCK will also provide clues to suicidal thought patterns and behaviors so you can act as an intervener or know when you need to get in touch with professionals.

I definitely recommend this book, both as informational reading and as a resource to have on your shelf.

Anyone who counsels others should have this book in their library before it's needed. Dr. Cox knows first hand what it's like to be left behind after a family member completes suicide. When he was only nine-years-old, his father killed himself, leaving a confused, angry little boy. Other stories illustrate the book as he and Ms. Arrington help readers learn the signs that a loved one may be contemplating suicide, with a chapter dedicated to exploring teen depression and suicide. They compassionately guide readers and give them hope for rebuilding their lives when a loved one does indeed commit suicide.

I purchased two different books on suicide in hopes of finding ways to deal with my best friend taking her own life at age 41. This book was far superior to the second one I read and I an so grateful that I chose to buy two different books. "Aftershock" left me feeling more positive and hopeful(strange words for a book on this subject)than I thought I could possibly feel after less than 2 months from the day she died. The Scripture verses were very comforting, the examples were not over done, like the other book, and I found myself feeling like the authors knew how I was feeling - and what a comfort that was after so many people told me "you just have to get over it!" I only wish I had read this book months ago, could the out-come have been different? I hope it is read by many other survivors - and hopefully find it's way into the hands of someone considering suicide.

I am about half way into this book, and feel a very strong need to comment before I even finish. This book is one more place that a person who is gay and possibly suicidal, will NOT feel validated. In the chapter on teen suicide, the authors acknowledge that gay teens are more likely than other teens to attempt suicide but then go on to say: "Even though the Bible clearly prohibits homosexuality and there is no credible scientific evidence to support homosexuality, a vulnerable or impressionable teenager who feels 'gay' will probably be predisposed to suicide." WHAT? The bible clearly prohibits homosexuality? There is no credible scientific evidence to support homosexuality? What does that even mean? The word gay in quotes? At the end of this same chapter, the authors suggest "if your teenager is struggling with sexual orientation questions, discuss these questions: Can you think of another "species" that does not have the ability to reproduce? If homosexuality is genetic rather than a learned behavior, why is homosexual union unable to reproduce?" ICK! This is what you're supposed to say to a vulnerable teenager? You're supposed to tell him or her that they learned to be homosexual and that they can control it? You mean I can learn how to become gay? Ooo the options! All sarcasm aside (I am really angry right now.) I am mostly concerned about these comments being in a book in which the authors offer advice and supposedly "solace" to both the survivors and those who are suicidal. I doubt that a person in the gay community will find comfort in their words.

Suicide, even a failed attempt at suicide, is always a shock. For those who must cope following a suicide, or a failed attempt at suicide, life is one unpredictable series of aftershocks. Authors Cox and Arrington have written this warm and lucid and often very personal book to help in the coping with these aftershocks.

But this is also a book for anyone who has ever contemplated suicide. It contains many practical suggestions for how one might help oneself choose to live even when life may not seem worth living. It also offers help to those who love such a person and want desperately to help them stay alive when dying is more attractive.

Preventing suicide is always best. Finding hope and healing in the "aftershock" of suicide is always possible. This outstanding book is one of the most honest, practical, and life-saving guides I know for dealing with all stages of this delicate and difficult subject.

While this book was somewhat helpful after my father's suicide, I found "Grieving a Suicide", by Albert Hsu, to be much more helpful from a Christian perspective. I noticed that most of the reviews I read here(although there were exceptions) were posted by counselors or those who were not necessarily suicide survivors. So, what I'm saying is that "Aftershock" is a great reference book for a counselor, and helpful to read for a survivor, but I would first read "Grieving a Suicide" or something similar.

after my husband's cousin committed suicide, the whole family was left reeling. this book has been helpful in understanding a lot of things. highly recommended.