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Against the Dying of the Light: A Father's Journey Through Loss

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This is a book everyone needs to help in confronting the most unfair aspect of life: death. Specifically, this gem of a book is about the loss of Fein's daughter, Nomi, and how he has come to terms with it. But the wisdom in this book will benefit anyone who faces death, their own or the deaths of their loved ones. I imagine many people try to avoid a book like this because they assume it is depressing. This one isn't. The loss of Nomi was tragic, terrible, but her life was such a gift. You read this book and understand that we are promised nothing in terms of longevity; we must make the most of whatever time we have. That Nomi dead and so did her father. An important message Fein conveys whether intentionally or not is that the pain of losing someone you love is unbearably painful but far more bearable if your love has been expressed openly during life. Fein loved his daughter and told her so, over and over again. His recollection of that simple fact keeps him going. Pain, yes. Guilt, none. There is an important lesson there. This book is a must.

I found this book both touching and inspirational. It is a must for anyone stuggling with the existential questions of life and death. Fein deals with the ultimate horror, the death of a child, with insight and sensitivity. The book alternates between memories of her death and life enabling the reader to share the sense of loss expressed by the author. Anyone who reads this book will be touched by the author's pain, but in the end we recognize that it is memories that lead to healing. I recommend this book for everyone.

 Leonard Fein's book, Against the Dying of the Light, A Father's Journey through Loss is a realistic,no frills account of a parent's worst nightmare. With poetic prose, the author takes us on his journey since losing his daughter, a young Mother whose sudden death left her husband, family and friends bereft, and his 16 month old granddaughter without her Mother. Throughout the journey he shares his pain, his struggles in trying to cope with his loss, his memories, his hopes for the future of his granddaughter, his heritage, and his love.

If asked to describe the book in a few words, I would say it is a love story: a love story written about his daughter Nomi, but also about his other children, his parents, his brother and sister-in-law, his friends, his basic values, and his tradition. It is a story of shared love with all of these people, and both the depth and quality of his feelings about them and everything in his life about which he cares, come across in the beauty of his writing.

While "deeply personal" as the author himself suggests, this story of a father's painful loss of his daughter moves the reader from the personal to the universal, from Nomi's death to her life, from the agony of the initial horror of her dying, to the ultimate acceptance of her death as a reality. At no time does the author come to terms with his daughter's death as "acceptable": over time, he does, however, come to terms with her death as fact.

Does he give the reader consolation? Does he have answers that make the reader feel better? Does it all come out okay? I don't think so. What we are left with, however, is the simple, basic truth that most of us already know, but do not always practice: that we must value everyday and every experience, and that we must let those we love know how valued, loved, and important they are to us not just once in awhile, but all the time. The saving grace in the book for me was that the author did that. Through quoted letters and comments of others, he is able to share with the reader that this beautiful young woman, his daughter, knew how loved and cherished she was, that they did in fact share many special times together and they valued those times as they happened. The fact is also shared that in her short life, Nomi made a difference. Her presence on this earth was viewed as a great gift by those who knew her. There must be small comfort in that knowledge, but comfort it is nonetheless.

Against the Dying of the Light is a good read. It is a quick read, an emotional read, a poignant read, and a beautifully written read as well. It will have an honored place on my book shelf.

Book Review written by: Lois S. Shenker 3340 S. W. Stonebrook Drive Portland, OR 97201 503-245-0018 e-mail loisshenker1@home.net

Fein's book takes you through the agonies of the death of his daughter, but comes out of the experience with a remarkably sensitive approach to death .... and life. I found great compassion with his suffering. I was startled at the profound insights he has after the experience.

This book is a gem, a small masterpiece. Not quite a memoire, and not exactly philosophy, it is a genre unto itself. You will keeping turning the pages, alternately choking back tears and feeling utterly exalted. Leonard Fein's astonishing contemplation on the death of his daughter is pure poetry.

I have rarely been as deeply moved by a book as I was by this meditation by Leonard Fein's on the death of his remarkable daughter, who suddenly and unexpectedly died at the age of 30, a young wife and mother of a 14 month old daughter. The book moves between Nomi's life and the process of dealing with her death. As a "sceptic," Fein struggles to understand the "meaning" of this death. He does this with an honesty, eloquence, and vulberability that is truly remarkable. The book takes the reader on a journey to discover how it is possible to construct meaning in the face of loss. Fein reflects on this process as a Jew, but his insights ring true well beyond the confines of a single culture or religion. This is a beautifully written and deeply felt work that I would recommend as a wonderful read for all of us who must inevitably struggles with issues of meaning

Leonard Fein finds words to express what I had thought were unexpressible thoughts and feelings. By doing so, he allows us to look at ourselves intimately, but without fear. His honesty with himself helps the reader consider and confront the difficult and painful. In the end, this book is extremely comforting.

The image evoked by the words on Nomi's gravestone led me into long ruminations about the ways to comprehend, and ultimatly tranform the sadness of, the death of a young life. How many of us have warded off the searing emotion of imagining the loss of a child? This is Fein's personal story as he tries to cope with his loss, honor his daughter's memory, and move foward with his life forever altered. The book is filled with a personal wisdom that is both deeply philosophical and searingly personal. To read this book is to vacillate between crying one's own tears for the loss of Nomi and being inpired by her own unique and powerful spark. The book is Fein's personal journey, but the story he tells is deeply and movingly universal.

I picked up Fein's book yesterday at the library and sat for an hour reading it without putting it down. Although I was familiar with Fein's writings within the Jewish community, I didn't know anything about him personally. I thank him for writing such a deeply personal story about such a tragic loss. I feel sorrow for his and his family/friends' loss, but also for all of those who never had the opportunity to know his daughter.

Leonard Fein's story of a parent's unspeakable loss of a grown child and the grieving that follows it begins as his personal story, gradually becomes our universal story, and remarkably by its end even fills us with hope.