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on November 26, 2010
With essays by the likes of Kate Bornstein, Dean Spade, and Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, you know this is going to be a good book. The first part of a trilogy addressing the unholy trinity of gay marriage, gays in the military, and hate crime legislation, this book is a welcome contribution to the much needed discussion about the right-wing agenda of mainstream LGBT activists. As the authors of this book insist, gay marriage is an anti-feminist, reactionary cause draining our movement of money and energy that should be spent instead on truly important issues like universal healthcare, racial equality, economic justice, prison abolition, and world peace. At a time when grassroots, directly democratic LGBT activism has been co-opted by racist, right-wing, capitalist organizations like HRC and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, this book is more important than ever. Though a little short and the print could be bigger, this is really a fabulous book and I hope that every LGBT person reads it.
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on August 16, 2011
Amidst the discourse surrounding gay marriage, I thought "Of course gay marriage should be legal, we shouldn't be denying anyone such a right". But the more and more I saw the push toward gay marriage becoming popular politics, I couldn't quite put my finger on why I was questioning its dominance. This book gives any radical feminist (straight, gay or queer) the words to argue why marriage in and of itself isn't (and shouldn't be) considered victorious, and the ability to do so without the support of the far right Catholic gay bashing agenda. The discussion moves through the overwriting of queer history by gay history, ideas about marriage as a normative social force designed to keep a select few in control of resources, and how historically the feminist movement was designed to empower women as individuals, rather than creating economic and social dependency based on monogamous relationships. Also discussed are concepts of immigration, imprisonment and denial of social services (especially health care) based on relationship status, resources denied to single people as well as queers. The system itself is flawed and creating band-aid legislation isn't helping to fix the flaws, rather it's creating false securities. This is a take from a straight feminist, who does not hate gay people, on the possibility that while marriage might be a lifestyle choice for some, it shouldn't have to be an economic choice for others. I'm imagining the possibilities.
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on December 11, 2012
This is a brilliant book filled with interesting perspectives and viewpoints that leave an open-minded person questioning why they have the beliefs they do on gay marriage. Extraordinarily well-written, and I consider it a must-read for anyone who enjoys reading various viewpoints and understanding different perspectives.

They also have a facebook group that posts good articles and has good discussion. I'd recommend joining it as well as ordering the book.
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on July 26, 2011
All in all an incredible anthology. I felt like a few of the essays were a little too much like an unexpanded blog post, but still 5 stars due to the range and quality of most of the essays.
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on August 9, 2013
One wonders what would possess gays to argue for the oppression of fellow gays. They seem to forget, no one is required to marry. However, many gays seek this right which the authors want to deny them. No issue ever put the gay civil rights agenda on the front pages and as lead stories of newscasts as has same sex marriage. This issue has gotten all of America to talk about gays, and their lack of civil rights. These discussions, this national conversation has moved the gay cause light years ahead on ALL fronts, not only on marriage. Of course, some people prefer to be perpetually "on the outside" so that they may continue a cottage industry of crying about how oppressed they are. Some people fear the day when they will not have discrimination against them as a excuse for every thing they wish to moan about. Fortunately, the US Supreme Court has ruled that gays are in fact human beings, and essential rights are now starting to be recognized. If the authors dislike these rights, they may forget about marrying, never claim survivor benefits from social security, and the myriad spiritual benefits that many gays find through a relationship, and through marriage. I am sure that there were some slaves who feared the Emancipation Proclamation. However, most people want human dignity, and marriage equality is part of that.
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