Customer Reviews

Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, Second Edition (Resources for Changing Lives)

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my wife and i have three kids. our oldest for the past two years has been rebellious (to use a mild term). we have been to many professionals, he has been tested and retested, and we have read book after book after book as we have sought to be the best parents we could be to help him (and US!) through this trying time. The book "Age of Opportunity" was recommended to us and we devoured it. We have immediately put into place some of the recommendations of the authors and it has been AMAZING how God has blessed with such WONDERFUL results. Of all the books we have read, this is the very finest. I just picked up five copies and give it as a gift to family who are in need as we are/were. Highly recommended. BEWARE: Not easy reading though as it demands that the parent do self evaluation as well as child reevaluation.

What an encouraging and challenging book for parents. Tripp doesn't pull any punches in this outstanding book that challenges parents to be more deliberate and intentional about their parenting. The primary emphasis of the book is getting through to parents that raising children is not about how they look, how well they score on some standardized test, or how many touchdowns they score, but ultimately if they have a heart for God. Tripp first deals with the perspective of parents on this issue refocusing them on what's really important, then he dives in to encourage parents to pursue their teens and accept this stage of parenting as a God-given opportunity instead of dreading it and working to avoid it at all costs.

Tripp encourages parents to find a balance between protecting them from the world and allowing them to assimilate themselves into the world. Tripp knows that many parents of teens are tired and worn out - but he thinks that the reason is because they are spending too much time and energy addressing the wrong thing. Tripp warns parents that they should not focus on behavior modification, but be willing to spend the time and energy to find out the root causes which underlie their behavior. One theme constantly running through Age of Opportunity is the emphasis given to conversation - parents making the effort to talk with their children

While the intended audience is parents with teenage children, much of the sage advice is applicable to parents with any age children and the book might be a better read for parents before their children hit the teen years. Outstanding book, easy-to-read, biblically sound, challenging and encouraging - Age of Opportunity has my highest recommendation.

I recently read this volume in my role as a biblical counselee, as my wife and I sought pastoral advice on how to deal scripturally with our rebellious teenage daughter. Having heard the author speak, both live and on tape, I knew that we would receive powerful medicine straight from the Scriptures, and I was not disappointed.

"Age of Opportunity" was written for hurting parents of teens by someone who was himself a hurting parent of teens, to give hope and help in the struggle. Paul Tripp knows exactly what it's like to be down in the trenches doing battle with our rebellious offspring, and he paints his pictures in stark, real-life terms. When he writes, he does so from first-hand experience, but with a godly wisdom and a deep humility born of many years seeking after the heart of God -- who is Himself the greatest of fathers and who knows what it's like to handle rebellious children.

The book opens with a call to stay in the fight, to shed the world's "if I can only survive until they reach age 18" mentality. God has uniquely positioned and equipped every Christian parent to model Christ and shape the hearts of their children. The real battle starts when we get a correct perspective on our role as parents, and who our kids are in the sight of God.

From there, the author backs up the dump truck and unloads heaps of great scriptural advice on how to recognize where your teen is spiritually, and how to go for the real prize -- his or her heart. We can regulate or suppress their outward behavior until we're blue in the face, but if we don't go for our teen's heart we really accomplish no permanent change. The goal is less to steer them away from the world, and more to steer them toward a hunger for Christ. Only then can we hope to turn out young adults who are able to handle life effectively by handling God's word accurately, and by having a heart that beats for the living God.

From a purely personal perspective, however, this book had limited value for us in our counseling context, because Tripp writes from an assumption that your teen is a follower of Christ. The advice in this book will not work otherwise. Sadly, that is where we find ourselves -- the parents of a rebellious teenage daughter who has no heart for Christ, and is quite content to stay that way. For now all we can do is cry out to God on behalf of our daughter to have mercy on her, and to grant her repentence. However, for our soon-to-be-a-teen son, who shows great evidence of being a believer, we look forward to re-reading this book in a few years and putting its teachings into practice. Thank you, Mr. Tripp, for sharing with us.

Paul Tripp's book radically changed the way we dealt with our children. It was such a wake-up call for us and several others in our church, that we began a parent's support and encouragement group, using the chapters as discussion topics, to help do our jobs better as parents. His wisdom on dealing with the culture around us, the common trials of adolesence, and the idols that we as parents sometimes fall prey to, has helped us all in being better listeners, in dealing with crisis situations, in deciding appropriate consequences for disobedience, and in plain loving our kids unconditionally. Paul even came to our church to do a weekend seminar to further encourage us in our struggles.

This is the finest book on parenting I have ever read. A great follow up to his brother Ted's book "Shepherding a Child's Heart". You will be asked to look into your own heart to discover what idols lie in wait to interfere with God directed principled parenting. Then launch on a journey that will aid you in seeking out your teens and assisiting them to know themselves and the God who longs to know them This is a life changing book.

I was asked to read this book by the Youth Minister at my church because I was going to serve on the Youth Ministry team at the church. After reading this book, I wanted it to be translated into my native language: Chinese, so more Chinese Christian parents could be helped by this book. This book can sometimes be wordy, but the overall theme and style of writing are excellent. The author has invaluable knowledge on helping youngsters to turn away from destructive lives and turn toward godly living. The author seems to have succeeded in his own household with his three children. Get this book if you want true Biblical perspective on children rearing.

Although I do not have any teenagers in my house, I thought it would be better to read this book too early, instead of too late. I believe I was right. This book reminds me a lot of Tedd Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, but with an emphasis on teens and how to relate to the teenage populace.

I truly enjoyed the honesty and also the way in which Dr. Tripp directs us as parents at the heart instead of our children instead of fixing mere actions. Usually, we as parents believe all is well if our children would just obey us, whether they are obeying us for the right reasons or not is a totally different question. Paul's book sets up so the parent gets to the teen's heart so that they obey based on their love of the glory of God rather than merely trying to follow rules that are set up. What this will do is drive critical thinking in the teen so that they can make decisions for themselves in different situations and will not need to know, "did my mom and dad say specifically I couldn't do this or that?" Instead they will strive to seek the Lord's will and ask, "In what way does this decision either glorify God or take away from it?"

The book is set up in three parts:

Part I: Clearing the Debris

In this first part Dr. Tripp is really trying to lay the foundation of the family and how God desires it to be set up. He speaks to those involved (parent and teen) and also speaks to the parent understanding the teen so that the next parts of the book can fall into place. I sincerely appreciate the chapter on "Whose Idols Are in the Way?" Dr. Tripp drives home the importance for us as parents to seek out our idols and destroy them so that our discipline and time with our children becomes godly, instead of reactionary.

Part II: Setting Godly Goals

This is really the practical part of the book. After laying out the foundation Dr. Tripp shows what should be important for every godly parent. He helps show forth how to disciple your children to have godly convictions towards culture and wisdom in how to respond. The idea behind this chapter is so that when that day comes where the teen leaves home, you can be confident that your work in them has been accomplished and they are ready to decipher the world through godly vision.

Part III: Practical Strategies for Parenting Teens

This last part is only 40 pages of the 253 page book. It seems to be more of a wrap up instead of completely new ideas. It seems to be more of a conclusion than a separate part. Part II and Part III really bleed together to make the last half of the book the practical wisdom given from Dr. Tripp to the readers.

One of my favorite discussions in the whole of the book was found in chapter 11. Dr. Tripp sets up four verbs for parents who desire to model Christ to their teen. I believe a quick synopsis of this will give you an overall feel for how the book is laid out.

They are:

Accept: We are to accept our sinful children with the grace of Christ. We are not to enable their sin, but we are also not to be judgmental parents who are condemning to the teen. When condemnation and judgmental attitudes prevail the teen will shut themselves off and never feel as though they can openly communicate to the parent.

Incarnate: As Christ was incarnate God to the world and to us, so too we are to incarnate Christ to our children. We are to reveal love, grace, patience, gentleness, kindness, etc. and continue to show them the gospel in deeds instead of merely words.

Identify: (my favorite part of the entire book) Hebrews 2:10 says that Christ was not ashamed to call us brothers and we should not be ashamed to call our teens, brothers and sisters in Christ. We should be able to identify with them in their sin. We should not be ones who would ever say, "I can't believe you would do that, I would never have done that." If this statement is actually true, the parent is not a sinner saved by grace, but a Pharisee who sees themselves as greater than others by their works. To identify with the teen will show them that you too struggle with sin, and you can show them who you go to for comfort and forgiveness in that sin: Christ Jesus our Saviour. Without the reminder that we too are sinners, the teen will believe that you cannot relate and will run away from you during their struggles instead of running to you.

Enter: As Christ entered our world and culture for 33 years, so we too should enter the world that our teenager lives in. This means seeking them out, even if it is uncomfortable. Asking them questions and listening to what drives them, what discourages them, what excites them, what they struggle with and the temptations that they face every day. When we seek them out to find out where they are coming from, we show them that we truly have an interest in who they are and what they face instead of trying to just pigeon hole them into whoever we think that they should be and what they should be facing. It shows that we truly have interest and value them.

I truly enjoyed this book and believe it is of great help to any who have teens now or who will be having teens soon. Dr. Tripp continues to humble the parent and drive them to the greatest desire: to parent for the glory of Christ, not for the glory of the parent. Highly Recommended.

This is a great book. We love our children and want what is best for them. In heated moments of life it is easy to forget that we are to show them the grace and mercy that we have been given. Paul David Tripp gives great insight to the heart of a parent that helps enable them to let go of their issues and grow to be the parent God intended. Many examples of the teaching moments in life that give us opportunity to lead our family to Christ.

As the parents of two teenagers, this has been the most helpful and practical book we have found - and we have read tons of them. If you asked us to pick just one book to recommend for parents of teenagers to read (or for parents of soon-to-be teenagers), this is the one.

My husband and I are leaders in a "Parents of Teens" group and we have read many books. This book is exceptional in it's understanding of the parenting skills that God would desire in each of us. The author is real and does not set himself up as a better Christain or parent than the rest of us. This book may change your life! A must read book for parents of teens!