Customer Reviews

Agent of Death [VHS]

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. It was so bad that I found myself laughing uproariously - in all the wrong places. The dialogue was at the same level as found in a bad porno flick, and the acting was of the same calibre. The plot sounded intriguing, but the execution was ludicrous; I mean, really - knocking out secret service agents at 50 feet with a blow straw? And man, Eric Roberts must be good if he can be knocked repeatedly upside the head with a lead pipe and not only not bleed, but his tuxedo shirt stays neatly tucked in his pants. If you do watch this, be sure to stick around for the credits to see how many people (obviously related - and probably investors) share the same last name.

Now I know why there was only one copy of this turkey at Blockbuster.

Basic story: Election day is approaching and the President of the United States is not doing well in the popularity polls. Elizabeth, his Chief of Staff and organizer of his re-election campaign, decides to hire a gang to stage a fake kidnapping of the President thinking that this will give him lots of free TV coverage. A former CIA agent, played by Eric Roberts, is hired as a replacement when one of the gang members doesn't show up for work. The kidnapping is staged as planned until the leader of the gang, played by Bryan Genesse, reveals that they have turned it into a real kidnapping and they have no intention of letting the Replacement and the President leave the building alive.

"Agent of Death" has certain similarities to "Die Hard."

Michael Madsen is amusing as FBI Agent Briggs. It's not a big role but his smirk is worth a thousand words.

Another plus is having Steven Lambert as stunt coordinator. While his work on the film "Titanic" probably reached a wider audience, true fans of mayhem will remember his work on films like "Total Recall," "Army of Darkness" and John Carpenter's "Vampires."

Eric Roberts looks in good shape and has shown off his martial arts skills in other films but with Bryan Genesse both choreographing the fights and playing the villian, we have a situation where the good guy doesn't get in all the good moves. Roberts has two extremely well-executed martial arts scenes. The first is with Mary, played by Bryan Genesse's real-life wife, Brooke Theiss, and the second is with Bryan Genesse.

Watch for the running gag as, behind the main action, the ditzy blond television reporter, played by Heidi Jo Markel, ducks and dodges flying debris without letting go of her mike.

Fans will also recognize Eliza Roberts, real life wife of Eric Roberts, playing Chief of Staff Donaldson.

Note: Stay for the credits.

I would like to start off by saying this tape did not earn a 5 star rating from well executed direction or amazing acting. This is simply the funniest movie I have ever seen. It is simply horrible.

The dialogue is so laughable at times. It sounds like a 20 dollar version of "Die Hard". I have one question, where was the editor when this movie was made? He obviously wasnt in the editing room because there are about 2000 things that are noticebly wrong. Ill go through some examples. There is a huge gun fight where everything in the room is destroyed, plants knocked over and chairs with holes in them. However, when they enter the room later in the movie, the room is spotless with everything in place. Also, when the "team" casually goes through the building shooting presidential body guards from 50 feet with straws holding little darts, he shoots on at a guard. You see it travel through the air and hit the guys hip, but the guy grabs his neck in pain and collapses. A really wierd one is when a member of the "team" runs at two cops with a table, he smashes them into the wall and goes to elbow a cop with no glasses on. When he hits him his glasses magically pop back on. Very Strange.

All in all this movie doesnt warrant a $70 dollar purchase, but i definitly suggest renting it because I guarantee laughs if you have a sense of humor. A Classic.

But this aside, the movie was a near non-stop gem fest. I nearly threw up due to convulsive laughter. The dialog is on par with a 1st grader's script idea, and the plot is way out there to say the least, but standard fare for the mighty Eric Sloberts.

This is THE movie to watch if you want to witness the splendor of the awesome "regenerating couch." That's correct, several scenes within this stinkfest contain couches that are riddled with bullets only to be completely fine in the next scene. Amazing. Normally you wouldn't want to hide behind a couch during a gunfight, but these are regenerating couches after all.

Besides the hundreds of other goof ups, blazing blow dart adventures, unfadable pipe beatings, gloves that appear and reappear within 2 scenes, Lazer Missions and such, the high point of hilarity comes after an explosion.

Our hero, in true A-Team fashion, stumbles from the room of the explosion and out a door towards the camera with the most singular expression upon his face and some unmistakable body language. It is as if he just emerged from the most heinous dump he has ever birthed in his life. It's all there. The stumble, the confused look on his face, the disheveled clothing. It is at least a 7 time rewind viewing.

I suggest you watch this film with some buddies and get ready for fun. ... A slow creeping after a long day of moving furniture during the summer is all this film deserves.