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Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls: A Novel of International Intrigue, Pork-Crazed Termites, and Motherhood [Kindle Edition]

Gary Buslik
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Iranian president Akhmed teams up with the leaders of Venezuela and Cuba and their American intelligence agents to smuggle radioactive matzo balls into Miami Beach. But intelligence being as slippery a concept to these nincompoops as chicken fat on linoleum, when each member of the gang decides to ladle out his own personal nuke soup, holy terror Akhmed is left steaming. Will his plan to destroy America float like a fly or sink like a lead dumpling?

Star-crossed lovers, conniving academics, and blustery social climbers collide with ravenous termites, international do-badders, and multi-level marketing in a plot as fast-paced and hilarious as a runaway mountain bus. Radioactivity has never been so much fun.

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Editorial Reviews

Review


Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls is peopled by some of the most unpleasant, malevolent, and stupid characters you can imagine — but it’s so clever and funny that I, the reader, was delighted to follow their complicated, self-serving, insane machinations. … Gary Buslik loves words. His prose is rich and vivid.” —Bookworm Room

Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls "definitely contains many thoroughly revolting, brain-curdling, nail-biting scenes that will ensure you will not only be unable to close it before you are through; no, you shall remain wide awake rereading some especially and sickeningly delicious passages." —Simply Jews blog

"You will love this book! It has been a long time since I have laughed like this — it's the best since Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." —NoisyRoom blog

About the Author

Gary Buslik writes novels, short stories, and essays, and he teaches literature and creative writing at the University of Illinois at Chicago. He is also the author of A Rotten Person Travels the Caribbean.


Product Details

  • File Size: 706 KB
  • Print Length: 372 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 160952070X
  • Publisher: Travelers' Tales/Solas House (December 20, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0071LTQXI
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,004,835 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bam! He did it again February 27, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Gary Buslik is the finest commentator on the world's stereotypes. He skewers all, from softball commie dictators to the very rich capitalists. Along the way he hits just about everyone else, including his own tribe, English professors who sound as if they swallowed a thesaurus, to greedy omnivorous females. He takes a whack at Haitian crooks, Iranian leaders with a Napoleanic complex, and lest we forget, hungry termites that have developed a taste for exotic fine dining. He keeps writing, I keep reading.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I read Buslik's earlier novel, A Rotten Person Travels the Caribbean, and laughed my head off, so I was delighted to learn about his newest effort. I downloaded Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls in electronic format as soon as it became available. I am also a travel writer and once in a while I need to put down the pen and lose myself in a good read, hopefully one that makes me laugh. During a recent visit to Costa Rica, I laid on the beach with my eReader, roaring in laughter over the antics of three world leaders looking to destroy the U.S. with atomic Matzo balls. Only the demented mind of Buslik could come up with this scenario. In his always irreverent voice, Buslik takes pot shots at everyone and everything, leading us down a twisted road of plots and sub-plots so bizarre that they are actually believable. If you want to laugh, or just escape into a good book, Akhmed is a great choice.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fantastic book! February 12, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
There was a time no so long ago when I actually believed many of the important people intricately involved in world affairs like government, religion, and business knew what they were doing. Yes, it was a sad and stupid mindset but I have never claimed to be the sharpest knife in any drawer, although I have lived most my life in South Carolina, which should by itself be an acceptable excuse.

Since then I have come to terms with my sad and naïve condition. These days my more enlightened observations suggests to me that human civilization is nothing more than a game of "King of the Mountain" that has gone on far too long and is being taken far too seriously by the participates. What drew me to this conclusion was my nasty and unhealthy habit of reading history.

Being a father I would love to buy a sixty foot sailboat, load up my kids and depending of my mood that day maybe even my wife, and sail off searching for some safe harbor well out of the strategic line of fire. In my mind, the usual destinations are Tasmania or the south island of New Zealand but these beautiful and enlightened places have very little use for Americans unless they arrive with big bucks which leaves me up poop creek without a canoe, much less the paddle or a lifejacket. So what is a well intentioned but hopelessly befuddled dude like me suppose to do? I usually placate my fears and insecurities about an increasingly uncertain future by submerging myself in a good book that makes fun of the whole situation.

Such a book is "Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls" by Gary Buslik.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
One of my rules of thumb when reading a book, or watching a movie for that matter, is that I have to like at least some of the characters in the book. Since I'm investing my time in the book or the movie, I want to be in the company of pleasant people. After all, outside of the entertainment world, I don't willingly want to spend time in the company of people who disgust me.

I discovered over the past couple of days, though, that there is an exception to this rule, and that exception is Gary Buslik's "Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls: A Novel of International Intrigue, Pork-Crazed Termites, and Motherhood." The book is peopled by some of the most unpleasant, malevolent, and stupid characters you can imagine -- but it's so clever and funny that I, the reader, was delighted to follow their complicated, self-serving, insane machinations.

I'm actually not quite sure how to describe the book without diluting the pleasure you'll get should you decide to read it. The book's own description (above) doesn't really do it justice. Those bland paragraphs leave out the delights of seeing the inside workings of the mind of a far-Left academic, keeping up with the Iranian president's manic dancing, watching the Venezuelan dictator dream of mass-marketing schemes, and generally following a serpentine plot that moves effortlessly from Iran, to Cuba, to Haiti, and to the high seas, with stopovers in Chicago, New York and Miami Beach.

One of the things I liked best about the book is that Gary Buslik loves words. His prose is rich and vivid. He also recognizes when people, rather than loving words, abuse them for obfuscation and self-aggrandizement. My favorite character -- and, incidentally, the most unpleasant character in the book -- is the pompous Prof. Les Fenwich.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Akhmed and the atomic matzo balls July 16, 2012
By Charles
Format:Paperback
Everything from A to Z and then some. This is old school satire at it's finest. After you are done laughing you end up laughing more!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Brilliantly un-PC!!!
The only thing politically correct about Gary Buslik's novel Akhmed & the Atomic Matzo Balls is the equal opportunity in which he attacks, well - everything. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Todd Kinsey
1.0 out of 5 stars Not a fan
I've read hundreds of books but this one is at the bottom of the list. Would not recommend for buying
Published 16 months ago by Sam
5.0 out of 5 stars What a Refreshing Totally Demented Page Turner
Not for the faint of heart but a great book for those who love over-the-top insane humor. It's a fun fast read and I guarantee you've never read anything like it before. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Dorri Olds
5.0 out of 5 stars My Radioactive All Time Favorite
Add one reigning Iranian president, one certain old Cuban dictator, one chubby Venezuelan dictator and a bunch of pork crazed termites, mix them together and you have one... Read more
Published 17 months ago by Mike Hollywood
5.0 out of 5 stars This guy teaches Shakespeare?
Believe it. Buslik is a writer for all seasons. And Shakespeare, were he still with us, probably would give Gary five stars for his latest creation. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Susan S. Stevens
5.0 out of 5 stars BUY ONE FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND!
I loved This Book so much I bought a second copy for a friend. We both laughed so hard we cried!
I have read all of Buslik's Books.
Enjoy!
Published 19 months ago by hope
5.0 out of 5 stars Read Akhmed to Cure Depression
I loved Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls, written by Gary Buslik, a literature professor (if you can believe that! Read more
Published on July 12, 2012 by Rachel Simon
5.0 out of 5 stars Not for the politicallly correct !!!
I got this book as a so-called gift from my jerky husband. He told me he wouldn't have sex with me or give me my grocery allowance until I read it. Read more
Published on June 18, 2012 by pkd24
4.0 out of 5 stars Creative Writing + Humor + Radioactivity = Akhmed & The Atomic Matzo...
May 29, 2012
Akhmed and The Atomic Matzo Balls

Meet Akhmed, the quirky Iranian president whose only regret was not hooking up with Rosie O'Donnell, who keeps... Read more
Published on May 29, 2012 by Literary Marie
4.0 out of 5 stars With this book Buslik has joined the ranks of Christopher Moore and...
It is extremely hard to write a funny book. Comedy relies a lot on timing, inflection, and visual expression for full impact. Read more
Published on April 26, 2012 by Book Him Danno
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