Customer Reviews

Alchemist,the [VHS]

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Oh, my...here's a stunning example of really cheesy 80's "horror". Let's see: take a 124 year old curse, a really bad production company, add a sorcerer, his love interest (who's actually another man's wife), and some REALLY bad gore, and you've got "The Alchemist." Sorcerer puts a spell on the wife, man goes after sorcerer, sorcerer steps away, man stabs wife by mistake. Sorcerer curses man to be a "creature of the night." This entails him going after deer, but not a werewolf, the budget was too small! Wife is reincarnated as a 1950's airhead who can't drive. Wife lookalike picks up hitchhiker, and they find the house where it all "began". Somehow, the man's daughter is supposed to be only 60 or 70, but how is that possible after a 124 year old curse? Oh, I get it: they're all cursed, including the producer, the director, and the distributor. (The movie 'moves' from 1871 to 1955--even funnier since all the fashions came from 1984!!) Add a few demons, the door to hell (oooh commodore 64 computer effects), and the sorcerer is defeated, but not before he's sliced in half (looks like they used a cow carcass, ick.) Wife lookalike falls in love with hitchhiker, the end. Why this video is listed for 50 cents, I'll never know. It's not worth 1 cent. I did laugh my ass off when one of the demons head's got crushed like a melon while the hitchhiker was trying to escape! Other than that, this movie is utter tripe. From that cow carcass....er, sorcerer's dead body, I'm sure.