Customer Reviews

Alex

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I am a grandparent of preemies, so I know that Jeff Stimpson's book is an honest and moving account of what it's like to watch a brave tiny baby go through medically necessary procedures that you can't bear to watch, and then what it's like to take a preemie home who is extremely fragile and on various medical equipment. Coming through an experience like the one related in "Alex: The Fathering of a Preemie" is something that changes your perception of the world forever, and makes you acutely aware of the fragility of life, and how poignant every day is that we have with our loved ones.

Alex, The Fathering of a Preemie is the compelling first hand account of raising child who was born extremely premature. Alex was born weighing only 23 ounces and spent one year in Neonatal Intensive Care in the hospital. As you might expect his time in the hospital was rocky, a wild ride on the often frightening preemie roller coaster. Once he came home from the hospital he still needed oxygen and feeding assistance for several years. Even as he began to get stronger, concerns were raised over developmental issues as he moved through preschool.

Jeff Stimpson skillfully describes in intimate and accurate detail the emotional and practical impact of raising a very small preemie. The ups and downs, the joys and grief, the worries and just pure frustrations are beautifully elaborated. For most people who face this reality, life is an exhausting and apparently never ending blur, filled with emotional highs and lows. Jeff shows that parents can not only survive this journey, but maintain their hopes and sense of humor. His love for his son shines through on every page.

Jeff Stimpson writes with wry humor, raw anger and complete candor as he walks through the life of his premature son, Alex. Some of the best moments in the books are in the retelling of the conversations between Jeff and his wife, Jill. As someone who has walked the road filled with landmines - that is the road of prematurity, I can say that this book is an honest and heartfelt account of the trials and tribulations of dealing with multiple opinions, distant doctors, conflicting emotions, and rude and insensitive comments from those who may not even mean to be rude and insensitive. Jeff and Jill showed great courage in their decisions about "what was best for Alex" and trusted their instincts. It's an inspiring read. Medical professionals should read ... there's a lot to be said about "family centered care" (or the lack thereof). Parents deserve more than many medical professionals are willing to give.

Jeff has given us all a gift by writing this book. From the first page to the last, I was enraptured by the weaving of the story and Jeff's eloquent use of the language.

Alex, buddy, you are loved. You are loved by people from all over the world who have never even met you.

A must-read.

I have followed Jeff's online journal about Alex, Ned, and Toast-the-Cat since Alex was still in the hospital. I found myself drawn to the website, week after week, for updates about this little boy named Alex. I've never met him. I've never seen him. I've never talked to him. But I feel as though he's a nephew or the son of a close friend of the family.

This book is a fantastic, fabulous compilation of some of Jeff's essays on his website, and it's fascinating to be able to sit down and read, at leisure, for hours on end about Alex's triumphs and troubles, the family's dealings with the new and different diagnoses, and Toast. I just adore Toast!!!

If you have a child, read this book. If you want a child, read this book. If you have a grandchild, niece, or nephew, read this book. Jeff's and Jill's dedication to their children, their desire to help them succeed, and their constant pushing to educate themselves is so evident in this book.

You will laugh, you will cry. You will be exasperated, you will rejoice.

Having an ex-preemie myself, I was so relieved to find the truths in this book, the ones the Hallmark Card Preemie Books don't say: what it's like to bring home a sick child, what it's like not to know his future, what it's like when the doctors turn out to be wrong or to have lied. Many many preemies end up like Alex with disabilities (mine did) and it's so important for their stories to be told. Right on, Jeff.

I can say I'm the proud mother of a preemie - 22 wks, weighed 397 grams (14 ounces) and 11 1/2 inches long. He spent the first 5 months of life in the NICU. He (Zuri - Kiswahili for 'beauty') is doing well now. He's 2 1/2 yrs old and is a strong toddler. He has some minor developmental delays but otherwise he's here and healthy! Hang in there parents and read all these stories. You ARE not alone...you didn't BRING this on yourself and you WILL survive it!

"Alex" is that rare combination of "truth is more compelling than fiction" and heartwarming, but not sappy, reportage. Jeff Stimpson has a remarkable ability to make you worry that every crisis is Alex's last -- even though you know from reading the dust jacket that today Alex is a happy, thriving 6-year-old, with one amazing set of parents.

From Booklist:
When Alex was born prematurely in 1998, he weighed only 21 ounces. He spent only four days of the first tentative year of his life at home. The rest was spent in the hospital in one critical medical situation after another, with his parents battling hospital staff, fighting to keep the treatments and procedures to a minimum. Stimpson chronicles the day-to-day struggle to keep Alex alive, and later to make something of a normal life for him as the parents slowly come to terms with his physical and mental limitations. Alex's homecoming only shifted the venue for constant care, worries and crises. Tracing Alex's development from premature birth to kindergarten, Stimpson offers a compelling look at the roller coaster of emotions faced by parents with a severely ill child, the sometimes support and sometimes callousness of medical and social workers, as the parents advocate for the maximum care and opportunity for their child. --Vanessa Bush."



From Kirkus:
"Journalist Stimpson debuts with a searing chronicle of life after the birth of his premature son. Alex would be a bundle, despite his mere 21-ounce size. Brought forth by Caesarian weeks before he was due because doctors believed he was growing too slowly, he took his parents through the full array of preemie ailments, problems that affected his breathing, eyes, and brain. Dividing his story into a series of months ("November and December, 1998," "February to May, 1999," etc.), Stimpson writes in a quick and saturated voice fueled by the transience of Alex's condition. Just another breath will suit them fine, up to a point, and then the author and his wife want more and better for Alex. They're worn out by his periods of vigor followed by nosedives (". . . his head lolls. Dead again, I think") that are followed by rebounds (after one near-normal feeding, he burps "like a tiny sailor"). Stimpson captures exactly what it's like to field the everyday fluctuations of a preemie's passage; when they have to take Alex back to the hospital after a single week at home, he writes, "I am glad that the study still smells like powder. As I type this the scent hangs in the back of my nose." And readers will reexperience it too. Alex's slow mental growth raises the knifing prospects of autism and Ritalin. "I would hate to see Alex lose the ignition of independence, hate to see his half-finished slashes of color on the paper turn to tedious, tame drawings, obediently and silently finished," says his father, who must balance the deadening effects of medication against the needs of someone who experiences eye contact as physically painful. At this writing, seven-year-old Alex soldiers on, a boon to his parents and younger brother.
Breath-catchingly evocative of live's elemental grace and messy dignity."
--KIRKUS REVIEWS

I loved this book. I cannot recommend it enough.

If you are considering buying it (either as a parent of a Preemie, someone who knows someone with a Preemie and wants to understand a little more, or someone who is just interested in a well written story of life and survival) then this is well worth your time. The book tells it how it is so don't expect a sugar coating but it is all the better for that.

One word of caution though - as the mother of an IUGR preemie I am glad that I did not hear about this book until after we were out of the hospital and had some sort of certainty. Essential reading now but may have been a little too raw back then.

I loved this book. It puts everything about life into perspective. I found myself checking my own life - am I doing the best I can as a father? Am I truly supportive of my family in the things that matter? Do I see the best in my children? This book challenged me to grow. I found too that I felt inspired after reading. It is an awesome source of hope for families.