Customer Reviews

Alienator

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With a nice holiday Monday off there is really no better way then to hit up a little late night Sunday B, especially when you have a 9:30 tee time with Santa the next morning. Perusing through some on demand choices proved to be a great choice yet again when we came across the straight to video release known (or not know) as Alienator. After reading the synopsis we were hooked with no knowledge of Michal Jan Vincent being the main role. After about 10 minutes in when he strolled on the set and gave his first line we were absolutely floored with laughter. Now this was before he had his motorcycle accident so he actually didn't look freakish but still had that drunk sounding delivery where you have to rewind just to understand his dialogue. Throughout the movie he delivers nothing outside of one liners....and very poor ones at that. If you can sit through this movie without stomach pains from laughter then you must lack a soul.

O.k this is where you get rammed with a brief synopsis so we ask that you try and follow despite the abnormally confusing premise. Alienator starts off with a toy space ship flying through space inhabited by commander/warden Jan Michael Vincent while on their way to execute an inmate named Kol. On their journey Kol breaks free and forces a shootout with lazer guns (you will not believe these special effects) leaving a few of the space officers dead. Kol then hi-jacks a different toy spaceship and sets sail for planet earth where he meets some horrible acted teens. Now that Jan Michael Vincent has been pushed to the limit he sends the Alienator to earth the retrieve Kol. Somehow Kol builds a bond with the teens and they attempt to take on the alienator, who is nothing more then a beastly weightlifting chick wearing an 80's rocker blond wig. Did you follow any of that?

With Alienator being as confusing as the way we described it can only go one of two ways: 1) A complete nightmare that get's shut off after 20 minutes or 2) A hilarious entry into out vast B library that will never be forgotten. Thankfully for us and all of mankind it was option numero dos. This is a film that should be revered in a the B community the way the Godfather or Cassablanca is for the normal people. On top of all the awful acting, Jan Michael Vincent drunk sounding one liners, and insane special effects you have the fact that this bad boy started up things right from our favorite decade coming out in 1990. The only thing wrong with the Alienator is the fact that we're the only review here in the movies 20 year history.