All I Can Handle: I'm No Mother Teresa: A Life Raising Three Daughters with Autism [Hardcover]

Kim Stagliano (Author), Jenny McCarthy (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1, 2010

How one woman raises three daughters with autism, loses one at Disney World, stays married, has sex, bakes gluten-free, goes broke, and keeps her sense of humor.

"Dr. Spock? Check. Penelope Ann Leach (remember her?)? Check. What to Expect When You’re Expecting? Check. I had a seven hundred dollar Bellini crib for God’s sake! I was perfect. And so was Mia when she was born . . ."

...and so begins Kim Stagliano’s electrifying and hilarious memoir of her family’s journey raising three daughters with autism. In these stories, Stagliano has joined the ranks of David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs with her amazing ability to lay everything on the table—from family, friends, and enemies to basement floods to birthdays to (possible) heroin addictions—eviscerating and celebrating the absurd. From her love of Howard Stern to her increasing activism in the autism community and exhaustive search for treatments that will help her daughters, she covers it all. Always outspoken, often touching, and sometimes heartbreaking, Kim Stagliano is a powerful new voice in comedic writing—her “Kimoir” (as she calls it) will be a must-read within the autism community and the literary world at large. 24 color photographs

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

In this passionate, funny memoir, Stagliano reveals what it’s like to be the mom of three daughters with autism. She jokes about the advantages of having teen girls with the disorder (they can’t text naked photos of themselves to a boy), her daughters’ initial diagnosis of global developmental delay (which sounded like a bad day on Continental Airlines), and crapisodes (autistic kids smearing feces everywhere). Many parents of kids diagnosed with the disorder will snap up this book, which is full of surprising, and controversial observations. Stagliano makes her husband out to be a good-looking saint (except for his golfing habit). Yet in 19 years, he goes through seven jobs. Also, despite the recent discreditation of Dr. Andrew Wakefield’s 1998 paper in The Lancet that led many parents to believe vaccines caused autism, Stagliano stands by him, and against much of mainstream medicine. Still, if readers can navigate her vendettas (she hates vaccine-developing scientist Paul Offit and takes issue with the American Psychiatric Association), they will enjoy a far-from-boring book. --Karen Springen

Review

“Inspiring.” (L.A. Times)

“Laugh out loud funny!” (Cleveland Plain Dealer) --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing (November 1, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1616080698
• ISBN-13: 978-1616080693
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (116 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #238,044 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Hi, I'm Kim Stagliano, wife, Mom, writer, tired. My husband and I have three gorgeous girls - who have autism. Kind of impossible, considering autism affects boys 4:1 over girls. Mark and I have learned that impossible is often inescapable though.

I'm available for both in-person and Skype bookclub appearances and would love to learn about YOUR story. Details on how to contact me at my website: www.kimstagliano.com.

My novel House of Cards is a fast paced, funny mystery infused with the vagaries of suddenly caring for two kids with autism. It's Romantic Suspense. Sort of like my life!

My Memoir All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa is humorous look at a life that has been anything but ordinary or easy - and yet is full of laughter, joy and love. I promise, you won't need a Prozac to read it. :)

I'm Managing Editor of www.ageofautism.com, the nation's first daily web newspaper about the autism epidemic. I write for The Huffington Post, am on the editorial staff of the Autism File Magazine, and am a feature writer for Spectrum Magazine. I speak at national autism conferences, and have appeared on Good Morning America (with the kids!), ABC News, Fox News, in The Chicago Tribune, The National Catholic Register, and on blogs around the world.

Mark and I live in CT with Mia, Gianna and Bella.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 50 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Brash but Vulnerable October 18, 2010

By K. Wombles

Format:Hardcover

Readers familiar with the online autism community and the vaccine controversy already know who Kim Stagliano is. She is a mother, activist, and writer, AND the managing editor of Age of Autism, a blog that calls itself the "daily web newspaper of the autism epidemic."

Stagliano makes clear, often in snarky but funny passages, that this hasn't been the life she was expecting. She name drops expensive shops, restaurants, and name brands that leave a Texan clueless, but it's always done to indicate that she came from a more wealthy background and has hit financial rock-bottom several times. Stagliano is honest, raw, and real in this book. She doesn't hide herself, her faults, or those moments where she is not at her finest. And for the most part, she doesn't apologize for those lapses. So when she does, she means it and you know it. You might not like her for that honesty. You might disagree with her fiercely, but to deny that courage is to make yourself small.

There is no doubt in my mind that Stagliano adores her children, loves them fiercely, enough so that she gave up her underwear in one scene that had me both laughing and crying. And I did a lot of both laughing and crying as I read her book. I'm not a bit ashamed to admit that. After all, I'm fairly loud and brash, too. Others will have to decide if I'm controversial (hee, I suspect, my detractors will say I am).

Even in chapters that had me less positively engaged, like the ones dealing with vaccines and Wakefield, I busted out laughing at the title to the Wakefield chapter, which was intentionally funny. I did no laughing at, if you get my meaning. There's nothing to mock here, although there is at times plenty to disagree with....

Stagliano fills in the gaps with this book for readers who've been either loving her or not for several years now, as she's written autism-related blogs at Huffington Post in addition to her work at Age of Autism. It's an important book for getting background information on how she got to where she is today and how she came by her beliefs.

What you might have expected, if you're familiar with Stagliano, but will not find, is a dramatic vaccine injury story for either of her two oldest daughters (the third daughter was never vaccinated). No, instead Stagliano offers up her timeline for her oldest and notes the hepatitis B vaccination and the mercury contained in it and the belief that perhaps Mia "may have had encephalitis" somewhere between two and four months. Stagliano also goes through all of her extended family noting that there are no members diagnosed with autism. It displays that there's a long way to go in educating people about the differences between heritability and genetics, for one thing. Ah, and the whole science and critical thinking things, too.

There's plenty of examples in this book of using anecdotes and availability heuristics to justify Stagliano's beliefs, and it's something each of us do as we go through our days, trying to make sense of our worlds, and it's one of the main reasons why relying instead on scientific studies with large samples are far more likely to render a more accurate portrait of reality than what any one person can recall at a particular time.

Despite some significant issues relating to vaccines and to Wakefield, this is a valuable book for readers wanting more information about where Stagliano's coming from. It's not a book for folks new to autism; it won't provide tips, advice, or a warm, fuzzy feeling about overcoming and positivity. It's a book better suited to readers who're already entrenched in the online discussion regarding autism and vaccines and unvalidated, untested therapies versus empirically-based interventions, although oddly enough, Stagliano does not detail some of the untested or dubious therapies and interventions she's used, which she has written about elsewhere. She does discuss the gluten and dairy free diet and the testing her daughters underwent to determine their reaction to gluten and casein.

This book provides a window into Stagliano's often difficult life, and it does not gloss over the hardships involved in caring for children with significant disabilities. It is unflinching, even if it that means it's less than flattering.

This is a book I'm glad I read. At times I lost myself in it; I related to it in many places. I've got three of my own on the spectrum, and many of Stagliano's fears are my own fears. And I laughed hard in all the right places, and I cried with Stagliano in all the right places, too. You cannot read this without connecting to Stagliano when she's writing about her daughters, and when you do, you will laugh and cry with her, too, and for that alone, this is a book worth reading. Read more ›

31 of 34 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book actually made me laugh about autism!! October 21, 2010

By mlbecker

Format:Hardcover

I am the mom of a child on the autism spectrum and it is a challenge to say the least - humor goes a long way towards lightening the load. This book had me laughing out loud many times (and tearing up once or twice). The author related many experiences similar to mine - I felt like I had company on this journey - a friend to laugh with when the going gets tough. I finished the book in two sittings - could not put it down. It was a great read!

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Superbly done!!! October 22, 2010

By christine delany

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

A well written account of what it is like to raise children with autism and come through life's trevails with success and happiness. This book covers it all and is wonderfully written in short chapters which were easy to read. From one Warrior Mom to another - Great work Kim! Well done!!!

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars You had me at "Crapisode"! November 2, 2010

By Wendy Fournier

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I've been a fan of Kim Stagliano's writing for years. She first caught my attention with her Huffington Post piece where she coined the phrase "crapisode" - a formerly nameless concept that I had been all too familiar with. As a mom whose life was forever changed with my daughter's diagnosis of Autism 8 years ago, I've read countless books on the subject. This was by far the most enjoyable.

With honesty and humor, Kim puts into words the feelings and experiences that so many families affected by autism are facing. Kim shows us that we're not alone as she recounts her own journey and the many challenges (Stagtastrophies) her family has had to overcome. She makes us cry a bit, and laugh out loud. But ultimately, Kim inspires us to grab hold of this life and live it with passion and grace.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A great voice but it's also VERY informative October 25, 2010

By Barbara Fischkin

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

Anyone who has read Kim Stagliano's vibrant and searing blogs over the last few years will not be surprised that she has written a book that looks at a grim situation with her unique humor - and manages to explain much about autism and the bio-medical autism community in the process.

Certainly this book entertains. It enables us to understand why we admire Kim, her husband Mark and her three extraordinary daughters who must deal with autism every day of their lives. But it does something else. It explains very clearly why parents, like me, worry about vaccinations even when we have vaccinated and do vaccinate in some safe situations. It explains why we are trying the latest bio-medical interventions - which ARE safe - and which are often dismissed by the medical establishment. Many of our physicians however, are part of that establishment, only enlightened.

If you read Kim's book you will get all of this along with the travails and victories of her journey.

I am a reader, an author and a writing teacher. I think I know a good book when I read one.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Hope, Humor and Heart-Warming October 23, 2010

By Cheryl E Zehner

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I loved this book! Having a child myself who falls on the autistic spectrum, I found myself unable to put this book down. In some ways, it was so close to my own experiences and the symptoms I noticed in my child when she was younger, that I felt like I could have written the same story. However, add two more children and a mother like Kim Stagliano into the mix and you have a life story that tells the truth and stresses about raising children with special needs, but also the humor you need to survive. Boy, does Kim survive! Life throw unbelievable crap (both literally and figuratively) at her, and no matter what she pulls herself together, takes on these problems head on. Kim and her husband are unstoppable in their love for each other, their girls and no matter what life hands them, somehow things will be okay. I hated to see this book end. Her writing style is very easy to follow and despite the seriousness of her girl's autism, parts of the book are laugh out loud funny. My only wish is that she writes a sequel, and soon.