All Grown Up: Living Happily Ever After with Your Adult Children [Paperback]

Roberta Maisel (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Many parents in their 50s and 60s don't know how to parent their adult children. Yet increases in health and longevity mean that parents and their children may share 40 or more years together as adults. All Grown Up describes how mid-life parents and their grown children can celebrate this new lease on life together by developing loving and egalitarian friendships that are positive and guilt-free. Using conflict resolution strategies borrowed from the field of mediation, a healthy respect for generation-gap issues engendered by the social revolutions of the 1960s and '70s, and a broad spiritual perspective, the author provides both practical solutions to on-going problems, as well as thought-provoking discussions of how these problems came to be.

Unlike other books in the field, All Grown Up addresses the cultural changes of the late 20^th century which deeply affect how we approach parenting, self-development and lifestyle issues. The book provides guidance on how parents of adult children can:

communicate with their adult children without judgments, or fear of giving praise;
let go - and share activities in a stress-free, equal way;
deal with crises in their adult children's lives, knowing when and when not to give advice;
set boundaries, limits and deadlines;
avoid over-identification with their child's successes and failures, and avoid competitiveness; and
build understanding, trust and compassion without prying.

Wise, compassionate and helpful, All Grown Up will appeal to all mid-life and older parents and children, as well as mediators, therapists, and counselors.

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Roberta Maisel is a sociologist, educator and professional mediator. A parent of three adult children, she watches over her 93-year old mother and lives in Berkeley, California.

About the Author

Roberta Maisel is an educator trained in sociology and a community mediator. She has taught workshops and classes on aging, adjustment to loss and parenting of adult children. Her three grown children, as well as her parent interviews, have provided rich anecdotal material for All Grown Up.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: New Society Publishers (November 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0865714398
• ISBN-13: 978-0865714397
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,201,528 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent reference-not just for parent-child relationships, January 12, 2002

By	Mary Tilley (Newton, KS USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: All Grown Up: Living Happily Ever After with Your Adult Children (Paperback)

"All Grown Up" by Robert Maisel provides an excellent template for adult relationships/friendships, not just those between adult children and their parents. No one teaches us how to deal with one another as adults - and if the model provided by one's family of origin is all we have to go by, many of us are in quite a pickle! Maisel's unique style of writing is very gentle to all potential readers. She makes her point without producing additional blame/guilt in either the parent or adult child. The anecdotes provided will ring familiar with a multitude of audiences, and the guidance provided is usable in everyday life. I have already started utilizing many of the recommendations in the book on a personal and professional basis in my work with families. In my mind, this functionality is the litmus test for a good book/reference. I'm certain my copy will soon be worn from referencing.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I gave this book to my mother immediately, April 2, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: All Grown Up: Living Happily Ever After with Your Adult Children (Paperback)

I love this book. I read it in one sitting. I am a therapist who has had a troubled relationship with my parents all my life. Reading this book was so helpful to me in terms of being able to discern how I need my parents to treat me now that I am grown. I have had a hard time articulating to them why their behavior pushes me away rather than brings me closer. Reading this book helped me identify my needs. And then I gave a copy to my mother! She is reading it now and I expect it will really help her know how to love me. The author is so non-shaming that I felt comfortable giving it to my mother and I think she will be able to let in the information. I have also allready used this book with my clients. The book market contains almost nothing on adult child/parent relationships. Thanks to the publishers and author. Roberta Maisel is a very wise and compassionate woman.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars All Grown Up and Still Good Friends, January 7, 2002

By	Jay Pasachoff (Williamstown, MA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: All Grown Up: Living Happily Ever After with Your Adult Children (Paperback)

Roberta Maisel's book "All Grown Up" does a masterful job of providing a vision for the future for parents of adult children. No longer intimately engaged on a day-to-day basis with the lives of their offspring, many parents have no idea how to graduate into an adult-adult relationship characterized by equality, independence and respect. Maisel fearlessly forges ahead, taking on such sensitive subjects as financial security, privacy and grandparenting. Her notion of letting go of expectations and fantasies about our grown children and how we plan to interact with them is set in the context of individual spiritual development. She urges the reader to "consider your heart" and "pursue truth" rather than cling to some outmoded notion of what family life "should" be like. "All Grown Up" is beautifully written and accessible. It will ease your mind and soothe your soul.