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All the Wrong Men and One Perfect Boy: A Memoir
 
 
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All the Wrong Men and One Perfect Boy: A Memoir [Hardcover]

Spike Gillespie (Author)
3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)


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Book Description

August 4, 1999
Some women have trouble with men. For Spike Gillespie, a widely followed online journalist, those problems started early with her father -- the first and most important man in any child's life. Spike's relationship with her emotionally distant parent was so flawed that she has had an unending series of disasters with men...from the day she first noticed them to the day she made one of her own -- her perfect little boy, Henry.

In a memoir of sometimes lacerating honesty, Spike Gillespie tells us the story of her life with men -- a blunt, moving, and profoundly revealing account that asks all the hardest questions about love between the sexes. All the Wrong Men and One Perfect Boy isn't a memoir of abuse or tragedy. But it is about the lack of connection -- to family, to lovers, to the world -- that defines much of modern life. Most importantly, however (and here Henry comes in), Gillespie also tells us a story of hope and resolution, of reaching out to touch the world with the newest tools, the computer and the Internet -- and in the oldest way -- through one's children. And it's about the deepest mysteries -- how we love the ones we love, and how we stop loving them when they're destroying us.

Spike Gillespie first began chronicling her thirty-year adventure of love and heartbreak in a weekly online column, and within a few months she was being described by USA Today as the queen of the online confessional. Gillespie has continued to feed her stream-of-consciousness biography to thousands of readers via her website. After years of publishing to the online community, now she is ready to tell the whole tale. Gillespie is a natural storyteller, a writer with a marvelous ability to immerse her readers in a flesh-and-blood world of her lovers, her family, her friends...and above all, her son. This is a writer unafraid to tell the truth -- about human nature, men, family, and motherhood. The result is a memoir of unadorned and refreshing power from a woman on the most intimate terms with passion, anger, love -- and herself.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

With the same blunt honesty that characterizes her online journalism, Spike Gillespie chronicles her disastrous love life, a litany of abusive, alcoholic men she seems to have selected primarily to reexperience the unhappiness she felt in her relationship with her distant, hypercritical father. At 35, she managed to salvage three good things from the mess she made of her youth: a network of loving friends (she knew several good men, she just slept with all the bad ones); her writing career, based in large part on savagely intimate excavations of her personal affairs; and her son, Henry, with whom she finally found the joyous love that eluded her with father, husband, and countless lovers. If it weren't for Henry (born in 1990) and Gillespie's exuberantly X-rated prose, this would be a grim tale indeed, filled with heavy drinking, self-sabotage, and groveling self-abasement to a series of losers and nutcases, described with pitiless precision. Gillespie doesn't pretend to be objective--her second husband in particular is practically nailed to the page--and readers may sometimes find it hard to understand how the obviously intelligent author could have made the same mistakes over and over. But her candor is compelling, and her tender letters to Henry extremely moving. --Wendy Smith

From Library Journal

Gillespie publishes online and has written for magazines such as Cosmopolitan, GQ, Playboy, and Mademoiselle. This book, which began as an online column, reflects her online style, offering frank reflections of events in her life and honest examinations of the mistakes she has made. This memoir covers her generally disastrous relations with menAfather, lovers, and husbandsAand reflects her struggle to understand why she behaves the way she does and her efforts to change her life. She is motivated to change through her love for her son, her "one perfect boy," and is supported in this change by several good friends. Women struggling to end destructive relationships and start new lives will find inspiration here. Buy where there is a demand for women's self-help books.AShana C. Fair, Ohio Univ., Zanesville
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster (August 4, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0684839830
  • ISBN-13: 978-0684839837
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,703,062 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

33 Reviews
5 star:
 (13)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (4)
2 star:
 (4)
1 star:
 (10)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.1 out of 5 stars (33 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars vicious victim, October 31, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: All the Wrong Men and One Perfect Boy: A Memoir (Hardcover)
reading this chronicle of spike's life as a professional victim felt rather like watching a train wreck. true, it is a quick and engaging read, but i found that my patience for her endless poor choices and impulsive, irresponsible behavior wore thin quite quickly. rather than examining how she might work to create the self-esteem necessary to protect her from her bad choices (or addressing the hard-core substance abuse that paves the way for every one night stand, enables her to enter into highly dysfunctional long-term relationships, serves as an easy excuse for her lack of judgement with regard to her son, and does so much to further damages her already troubled relationship with her father), she spends her time viciously blaming everyone else for her unhappy experiences. yes, her life has been tough in a way that will ring true for many, and it is impressive that she has created a successful writing career by mining that source material, but it seems to me that all of her life's disasters were equally of her own making.

spike's life and the way she writes about it both seem chock full of the inconsistency and self-serving double standards so common in the pathologically self-absorbed. to cite just one example, she claims that her husband's drinking and use of xanax were primary factors in her decision to leave her husband, only to later detail yet another of her many drunken binges and her own use of prozac.

ultimately i was bored by her constant griping and desperate need for sympathy, and concerned by how little she actually seems to grow as a person during the course of her narrative. yes she has survived and, hopefully for her son's sake, is trying to create a healthier life for herself, but unfortunately i suspect that there are many more bad choices ahead for this woman.

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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars A book-length pity party that gets old fast, October 30, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: All the Wrong Men and One Perfect Boy: A Memoir (Hardcover)
The book isn't badly written, in the sense that the writing style is smooth and well-executed. However, the story itself is a flat tale of someone with a serious martyr complex. Some people seem to thrive on feeling sorry for themselves. Spike is one of these people. Her world is filled with one-dimensional characters, most of them evil, sick, crazy men. Reading Spike's tale, you get the feeling there's a lot more to the story than what she claims. The truly interesting book would be one where these "wrong men" had a chance to respond to her version of events. Some look at Spike as a "feminist". To me, she's everything feminism should be against: Ultimately weak, whiny, desperate for sympathy and approval...not to mention perpetually defining herself by the men in her life. Henry is the only sympathetic character in the whole sad tale. Too bad that by the time Spike has at last put her life in order, Henry will be the one writing whiny, self-deserving "confessions" about how his mother set him on the path to find "all the wrong women".
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars A great writer, a useless book., August 20, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: All the Wrong Men and One Perfect Boy: A Memoir (Hardcover)
I enjoyed Spike's writing. She is a very talented writer. She's also clueless.

I know it's the popular thing to blame other people for your own screw ups, but how about some personal responsibility for a change? As a woman with a messed up marriage myself, I can partially sympathize, but I face reality... I am responsible for the situations I put myself in. Just me. Just like Spike is the only person to blame for every screw-up she's written about in her life.

I was left wondering if her son will end up blaming her for all his screwed-up relationships like she blames her father for her own. I wonder if that's what she wants? It is the example she's setting.

Anyways, all the blaming, whining and ranting in the book gets tiresome... maybe it'd be great in a short internet column, where I guess she's made her mark, but it's just not enough to make for a decent book.

I guess there's value in this book, if you need to know for certain that there are some people with lives more messed up than yours... but that's what Jerry Springer is for, isn't it?

Want to buy this book? My copy is going to be in my local used bookstore tomorrow... you can pick it up real cheap there.

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Inside This Book (learn more)
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TWICE in my life, my father reached out to me.. Read the first page
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