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An Allowance Is Not a Bribe: And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children
 
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An Allowance Is Not a Bribe: And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children [Hardcover]

Allan M. Gonsher (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 1, 2000
In recent years, many books have been published on the topic of Jewish parenting. What sets this book apart from others is the powerful message of its author, Allan Gonsher, who is an experienced family therapist with the dual perspective of a practicing Jew and a clinician trained in psychology and inter-personal dynamics. An Allowance is Not a Bribe is the result of this unique viewpoint on Jewish parenting.

The author shows parents how a Torah-based life holds many answers to the deepest needs within every Jewish individual and how belief in God and the performance of mitzvot offer the coping skills necessary for dealing with the emotional challenges of today's world. Again and again, the author calls upon his knowledge of psychology and interconnects his experience with the tools of counseling and his faith in Judaism to offer guidance to today's parents.

Neither a "how to" nor a discussion of overall parenting skills, An Allowance is Not a Bribe follows the author's personal "Jewish journey" as it pertains to his life and his perspective on the subject of raising responsible Jewish children. For Gonsher, a passionate commitment to Judaism is the most important legacy he and his wife have given their three sons. Thus, he encourages other Jewish parents to start their own Jewish journeys and to serve as role models in secular standards and in matters of faith and spirituality, from the time their children enter pre-school until they are grown. For example, Gonsher explains the "4-B Approach" for helping children as young as six become responsible for their bedroom, bathroom, breakfast, and backpack.

Editorial Reviews

Review

An Allowance Is Not a Bribe: And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children is a wonderful book about modern child rearing in the Jewish tradition. Its author, Allan Gonsher, brings years of experience as a psychotherapist to parenting during each stage in the family cycle. He approaches the task in a child-friendly manner with deep insight and good humor. On the whole, An Allowance Is Not a Bribe has my highest level of recommendation. It richly achieves the author's stated goal, to strengthen Jewish families, and will be of great interest to anyone attempting to raise stable, healthy children. The book is easy to read and enjoyable. It has universal appeal. (Dr. Paul Fine )

Allan Gonsher's book, An Allowance Is Not a Bribe, is a warm, wise, and deeply Jewish approach to parenting. He integrates lessons learned from both modern therapy and Jewish tradition as well as his own experience as a father to provide his readers with sound advice, tested through decades of helping children and their families. This book is chock-full with good ideas about how to carry out the complex, but ultimately important, role of Jewish parenting. (Rabbi Elliot N. Dorff )

About the Author

Allan M. Gonsher LCSW, ACSW, is the founder and President of Kids, Inc., a counseling agency for families and children up to age thirteen.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 215 pages
  • Publisher: Jason Aronson, Inc. (October 1, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0765761335
  • ISBN-13: 978-0765761330
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,347,931 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (5 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!!! Inspiring and Relevant methods, rooted in a system that works, February 19, 2008
This review is from: An Allowance Is Not a Bribe: And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children (Hardcover)
I have read this book, cover to cover, many times. It inspires me and my wife on two levels; firstly, we find practical, executable suggestions that we have incorporated into our family raising practices. Most child-rearing books out there (and we own and have read many of them!!!) either stay too esoteric and theoretical, without real suggestions or seem to only get by based on the fame of their authors. Gonsher does a fantastic job of addressing real issues with real solutions -- i challenged my wife to give his methods a try for a month and we haven't stopped using them or seeing success years later.

Secondly, we are inspired by the teachings Gonsher uses from the Jewish tradition. He is not scared to build on the wisdom from yesterday, acknowledging Jewish philosophers (and parents!), in a society that today would sooner usurp credit for recycled ideas. How magnificent it is that the Bible and its commentaries have input on this matter, and that we need not be embarrassed for methodologies that have proven successful throughout the ages
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars the 4B's saved my marriage!, February 19, 2008
This review is from: An Allowance Is Not a Bribe: And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children (Hardcover)
Every morning, our house used to be a mess! Yelling, fighting, chaos! we were always (and sometimes still are!) late to school and work because getting through the morning routine (ha!) used to take forever!

The 4B's (Bedroom, Bathroom, Breakfast and Backpack) are now Law in our home -- and our mornings run so much smoother!

Jewish or not, this book gives practical advice for raising responsible children.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Sure-hit from a Highly Qualified and Experienced Expert, February 22, 2008
By 
E Schuler (Miami Beach, Florida) - See all my reviews
This review is from: An Allowance Is Not a Bribe: And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children (Hardcover)
Hello! How very refreshing to see my colleague Allan Gonsher's fine book available on [...]!

Widely regarded as a leading children- and family therapist in the United States Midwestern region and an international lecturer on family topics, Mr. Gonsher is renowned for his keen insights and sage advice. Indeed, a cadre of therapists and other professionals have honed their skills under his expert tutelage and mentoring.

Mr. Gonsher's book is sure to provide a fresh perspective on raising children and food for thought and discussion. I believe I'll pick up an extra copy for a young family I know will enjoy it--and be enriched.
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