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Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work Paperback – June 1, 2007


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 130 pages
  • Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, Ltd; 1 edition (June 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1843105373
  • ISBN-13: 978-1843105374
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.3 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (63 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #78,807 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

'This book could change your relationship and your life.'- Tony Attwood, author of The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome'A really honest and accurate account of what it is like living in a relationship with a man who is affected by Asperger syndrome. There will be something in this book for any one living in such a relationship and it will provide an invaluable guide to professionals who wish to develop their understanding of Asperger relationships. Katrin describes very honestly both the ups and downs of living with her husband Gavin and shows the difference that awareness, understanding and commitment can make towards the success of living with this complex syndrome.'- Maxine Aston, author of Aspergers in Love and The other half of Asperger Syndrome'Katrin Bentley has been married for 18 years. Communication is one of the biggest challenges faced by people with Asperger's Syndrome yet Asperger marriages require communication more than any other relationship.Alone Together shares the struggle of one couple to rescue their marriage. Since receiving her husband's diagnosis of AS, their marriage has improved substantially. They learnt to accept each other's different approaches to life, and found ways to overcome problems and misunderstandings. The book includes tips on making an Asperger marriage succeed.'- Autism Us'Bentley is lively and informative regarding life in an AS (Asperger Syndrome) household and practitioners would gain insight into the realities by reading this book.'- Therapy Today

Communication is one of the biggest challenges faced by people with Asperger's Syndrome (AS), yet an Asperger marriage requires communication more than any other relationship. Thousands of people live in Asperger marriages without knowing the answers to important questions such as `What behaviours indicate that my spouse has AS?' `Is it worthwhile to get a diagnosis?' `Is there hope for improvement?'Katrin Bentley has been married for 18 years. Since receiving her husband's diagnosis of AS, their marriage has improved substantially. They learnt to accept each other's different approaches to life and found ways to overcome problems and misunderstandings. Today they are happily married and able to communicate effectively.Alone Together shares the struggle of one couple to rescue their marriage. It is uplifting and humorous, and includes plenty of tips to making an Asperger marriage succeed. This book offers couples hope, encouragement and strategies for their own marriages.

About the Author

Katrin Bentley was born in Switzerland but now lives in Queensland, Australia, with her husband, Gavin, who has Asperger's Syndrome. Katrin volunteers at Asperger Services Australia. She is also a qualified primary school teacher and fitness instructor.

Customer Reviews

It is written in a format which is very easy to read and interesting.
ReadingMom
The other books helped me to understand the Aspie, but this one is helping me with my reactions to him.
lwinberr
Certainly not worth my money or the time I spent trying to find its redeeming feature.
Linda M. Jarsky

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

68 of 69 people found the following review helpful By lwinberr on April 7, 2008
Format: Paperback
I am married to an Aspie. I've read many books on this subject. So far, this one is helping *me* with my marriage. The other books helped me to understand the Aspie, but this one is helping me with my reactions to him. This book is written in layman's terms, and in story form which makes it easy for me to understand. I recommend this book highly.
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80 of 87 people found the following review helpful By Dawn on November 27, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
When I first found this book at the library, my husband and I were first starting to look into Asperger's because we thought my son and husband might have it. Life kept me from reading this as soon as I would have liked, but once I did it was like having one a ha moment after another. Not only did it help confirm that AS is something my husband and son have, but myself as well.

Katrin Bentley writes from her own experience of living with a husband with AS. She offers a real and honest perspective of what her marriage has been like, and "gives strategies and hints on how to improve" your relationship with someone with AS. I love what she says in the first couple of pages, "Once we discovered AS was the cause of our endless misunderstandings we were able to come to terms with a different way of thinking". Misunderstood is how someone with Asperger's feels, and those married to people with AS must face many frustrations of not understanding why their spouse is the way they are. So, coming to a new way of thinking is about the best answer.

Katrin addresses so many different points about being AS, and married to someone who has it that it would take quite a while to mention them all. The most valuable thing that came from this book is it opened a door of communication and understanding between my husband and myself. I read portions to him that I thought we both related to, and we would have long talks about it.

I appreciate that Katrin does not bash someone with AS, but lovingly explains things, She is not an expert, but more of a friend and mentor. I would read anything else she wrote about AS.
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34 of 35 people found the following review helpful By Jmeijlaers on April 2, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Hi world. Aspie here, born September 7 1961. Born again November 30 2008. As a (self)diagnosed Aspie. The whole difference is in the knowing. Read Tony Attwood's bible then, cried a bucket. Just finished reading 'Making an Asperger's Marriage Work' and cried another one. It does a man good to cry a bucket of tears once in a while. Should we have known about my AS in 1998 we would have had a fighting chance. We did not, so we did not. As an undiagnosed Aspie you are fighting blindfolded. You can only hit yourself, and the person you care most about. Reading 'Making an Asperger's Marriage work' has made me aware of just how hard married life with me must have been. It does make me sad but you cannot fight the things you cannot see. We did manage then to go our own ways without causing irreparable damage to each other. I am an old-fashioned guy, sort of. While I can well accept that a marriage can end, in my lil Aspie book 'to love & cherish till death do us part' is NOT something that can end. Having the blindfold off in 2008 was a great help to gain understanding and to stop the free fall I was in. Reading the story of these two young people is not going to turn the clock back but it will be a great help in getting myself on the upswing again.

Katrin & Gavin, thanks for sharing & keep up the good fight.

J.

Work in Progress

Update-breaking news-important-LET THERE BE LIGHT !!!

Katrin stresses in her book the need for sunlight, since this is benificial to combat autisme-related depression. I took this to heart right away but since I don't live in a sunny country I went down the road of antidepressants that assist with serotonin. This works, but not really well.
Read more ›
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41 of 45 people found the following review helpful By Truth Seeker on May 24, 2008
Format: Paperback
The author does an excellent job of communicating the difficulty of an AS marriage. The title is wonderful and says it all. She does a good job of explaining the frustrations of everyday life, but is very kind and understanding when speaking of her husband even when he is verbally abusive to her. There was somehow a comfort in reading about the feelings and frustrations that I experience daily. It was like I have a friend who understands completely what I am going through and is sharing her similar story with me. I highly recommend the book.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Stephen Gutknecht on April 25, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Katrin is a wonderful wife. They were married for 17 years when she first realized the cause of Galvin's issues at age 37.

With the estimated 80% divorce rate in AS marriages, her story of her own life can be useful. It isn't perfect, it isn't going to match all other couples, and you may not agree with all her conclusions and answers.

yet that's the greatness of the book. it is HER STORY, and she tells it with pride in herself and her partner.
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27 of 32 people found the following review helpful By Colorado422 on June 13, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
My husband of six years has just been diagnosed with Asperger's, precipitated when I sought counseling because I'd become so unhappy in our marriage. My hope was that this book would shed some light on how a couple can work together toward a better marriage and some mutual understanding. Nothing could be further from the truth. This author describes years of neglect and some degree of verbal abuse from her partner. Although she describes coming to understand his behavior better, the only result that she describes seems to be a better ability to walk on eggshells around him, while he is unpredictable, distant, demanding and sometimes verbally abusive. Whoa. Asperger's spouses - there is no ray of hope for you here. Seek elsewhere.
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