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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Ex-NFL Player's Long Journey Toward Self-Acceptance Portrayed With Honesty and Heart, February 25, 2006
The intolerance of gays in high profile professional sports is brought to searing life by former NFL player Esera Tuaolo's revealing autobiography. On the field, he was the worst nightmare for opposing quarterbacks who had to face the six-foot-three, 260-pound defensive nose tackle. Tuaolo had nine successful years in the NFL, played for five different teams starting with the Green Bay Packers and hit his peak as an Atlanta Falcon at the 1999 Super Bowl (even though his team lost to the Denver Broncos). Co-written with sportswriter John Rosengren, the book reflects the ease of an athlete when it comes to the details of training camps, game plays and the often wild carousing that comes with being a football player. Starting with his days as a defensive lineman at Oregon State, Tuaolo's professional accomplishments are all the more impressive in light of his needful beginnings. These sections would please anyone with a love of the game.
However, what makes the book soar is the unblinking honesty of Tuaolo's personal agony in hiding his sexual orientation during the entirety of his football career. Having just read Kenji Yoshino's illuminating book, "Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights", I am even more convinced that Tuaolo's self-imposed stay in the closet was both necessary in an environment particularly hostile to gays and destructive for the torment it produced in his life. The painful covering manifested itself through the hard-drinking, pot-smoking phases in his life, all done to mask the fear and panic around living a lie. There was no unconditional success in his life, as each success produced a worry of equal stature in his mind. His defining moment came after the 1999 Super Bowl, as he describes how his life-partner, Mitchell Wherley, was able to be there, but neither could approach each other as more than friends after the game loss. Tuaolo's ebullient spirit makes his eventual coming out feel particularly triumphant, even though the moment came after his retirement when his disclosure was marginally safer, and the co-authors effectively paint a picture of the precarious crest of media attention that Tuaolo received.
The overriding theme of the book is how family and faith are paramount in his life. He describes his traditional Samoan childhood in Hawaii with loving detail, as well as his current family life with two adopted children. Tuaolo is also a devout Christian, and as a child, he describes how he would turn to prayer when he speculated how he was cursed by God to have such apparently unsavory feelings. Within that context, he gets especially passionate and articulate about what he sees as the religious hypocrisy of Christian athletic groups that vilify gay people. It remains telling that Tuaolo is only the third former NFL player to come out, and one hopes through Tuaolo's example that those gay men still in the game can find the strength to uncover themselves toward true acceptance. Through this unpretentious, often powerful book, I cannot help but admire Tuaolo for his detailed journey toward self-acceptance even more than the talent that originally brought him to prominence.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
read for all, March 2, 2006
what i got from esera tuaolo's book was so much more than i ever expected. tuaolo's story tore at my heart, the pain of his self identity that drove him to the edge...that in the end became a source of his strength was very powerful. i feel that those, who are in a place where there orientation has to be kept hidden, will now find comfort in knowing that others have been there and that life can, and often is, a wonderful place outside the closet. i see this as a tool to help educate, and make those who feel gays don't have a place in our society, to rethink just how much pain and destruction that they have helped fuel by creating the environment where so many feel the need to hide in the shadows of fear. maybe this man's story will help to bring more people together. the book was a very quick read, the story pulled me in and i felt like esera was reading it to me. his amazing positive energy came through as i read. however, it did not make the darkest parts of the book easy to read.
i hoped this has helped someone considering this book to give it a read.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
This is a really thoughtful book..., December 18, 2006
Esera's book reads very well. I really appreciate that he shares his life with us, he did not have to. I have met the man at Univ. of Hawaii, he does have a beautiful voice.. and a year later finally read the book. I read this book and Reichen Lehmkuhl's "Here's What We'll Say" at the same time. Each book has it's positive and negatives but this book is much better flowing, seems more genuine, and Esera has such a big heart. It really pains me to see all that he went through to make some money in the game of football. I related much to his story and it really helped me. I live here in Hawaii and I know how disjointed the community is here due to culture and social stigmas. I wish he would have talked more about his relationship, living with a stylist has it's own stories to tell! Hmmm, maybe I will write a book Esera?
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