Product Details

• Actors: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff
• Directors: Uwe Boll
• Format: NTSC, Widescreen
• Region: All Regions
• Rated: Unrated
• Studio: Alliance (Universal)
• Average Customer Review: 1.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• ASIN: B000811686
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #104,358 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars I feel so "Alone" April 12, 2013

By E. A Solinas HALL OF FAMETOP 100 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:DVD

I laughed, I cried, it moved me... out of the theatre. Not fast enough, sadly, to escape the inept pile of rotted debris that is "Alone in the Dark."

Uwe Boll's adaptation of the video game is the sort of movie that usually gets relegated to discount bins for four bucks, but isn't ever purchased -- oh yes, people, it pushes new boundaries of horrendous silliness. The story is a mismatched jumble of cliches and incoherent action scenes, with acting that ranges from wretched to indifferent -- and no, none of it makes any sense.

It opens with an explanation about the Abkani, an ancient civilization who apparently worshiped demons -- and were somehow destroyed by them. Fast-forward to the twenty-first century, to Edward Carnby (Christian Slater), a man who lost his memories at the age of ten years, when a mysterious cabal experimented on him and several other orphaned children. But hey, he gained psychic powers and physically-impossible fighting moves.

Now he's a clone of Agent Mulder, working for Bureau 731 (aka Generic Paranormal Division). It turns out that some weird artifacts have been found, including a mysterious chest and a bunch of weird little items buried all over the world. So he teams up with his museum-curator ex-girlfriend Aline (Tara Reid -- no joke!) to stop Hudgens from using some ancient statue to release interdimensional aliens, who may destroy the entire human race.

"Alone in the Dark" is an orgy of ridiculous idea, a steaming pile of rancid celluloid that should have been relegated to 2AM showings on the SyFy Channel along with reruns of "Mansquito Vs. Gatorsaurus." In fact, it's difficult to understand why this video game adaptation wasn't relegated to the "Direct to Video" bins, along with all the other bad F-movie horror flicks....

And where to begin? What bad aspect about this disaster is the worst?

Let's start with Uwe Boll's direction -- it's leaden and uneven, full of quick cuts at all the wrong moments, and scenes that last for about fifty seconds apiece. Also, apparently nobody told Boll that alien beasties jumping out does NOT count as a shocking plot twist. At least Boll wasn't directly responsible for the script, which includes a sex scene for the sake of having one, and such delightfully illogical scenes as Aline reading ancient scripts by memory.

And yes, the action scenes are absolutely wretched. People with epilepsy might want to avoid this movie, because of the constant jabbering gunfire whenever the good guys are "alone in the dark." As for the creatures, they look sort of like the love children of a gorilla and a xenomorph.

The acting never becomes much better than the script or direction -- Slater and Dorff are sleepwalking through their roles, probably counting the seconds until they can punch out for the day. And Tara Reid manages a bit of hilarity as a scientist -- Boll lets us know she's brilliant, because she wears glasses. It's like watching Kim Kardashian pretend to be a particle physicist.

After the so-bad-it's-bad trainwrecks he's directed, Uwe Boll's reputation as the worst filmmaker alive -- perhaps ever -- is cemented in place, to the point where he could probably ruin a nature special with wooden acting and cracked-out camerawork. "Alone in the Dark" deserves to stay alone. Read more ›

1.0 out of 5 stars one star is too much... August 8, 2005

By Keith

Format:DVD

Uwe Boll, the director of this garbage, should be brought into the street and hurt.
He should have all his cameras taken away from him, as well as all the video game licences he has stored away.
He's the guy who made House of the Dead, by the way, and it looks like he keeps pumping out bad movies based on great games.

The acting is horrible, especially Mrs. Tara Reid who can't really act very well, so she makes up for it by trying to be pretty all the time. And then there's Christian Slater's performance.
Then there's the plot holes, the dead-air, and the stuff that just doesn't make ANY sense.
The best (sarcasm) part is right at the beginning: a very long introduction of scrolling text (with naration) explaining everything. That's just lazy movie-making.

Don't buy this movie. Don't even put money towards renting it. It doesn't deserve any of it.