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AlphaDog, Get The Bitch You Want: A Man's Guide to Dating, by a Woman Paperback – June 29, 2009

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Mayhem Songs (June 29, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0615287735
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615287737
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #494,026 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


"... an intelligent, researched and well-argued book in a clear, concise, conversational style... Her use of Myers Briggs typology is perceptive and user-friendly... As a woman, let me say: She's right, this is what women want. I didn't realize what I was really looking for in a man until Kim clarified what leadership means." -Aldina K.

From the Author

If you decide to read this, read it with a fine tooth comb. There is a lot of information packed in it. While I tried to illustrate ideas with analogies, it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture.

Negative critics have picked at little things, such as my emphasis on friendships or what I said women want. They have failed to understand the greater scheme and the context of what they criticized. Nor did they apply what they read in real life. A lot of what I wrote will be familiar, and a lot will sound like something you already do. Great. Now understand the main idea and try it again.

The question to ask yourself is, "What do I really want?" If you are humble enough, you will find that your answer changes as you get older. I hope my book helps your answer change from "I don't know" or something physical.

If you want quick tips, you might find a few. But this book is not about giving you a quick answer to your dating problems. You can read my articles on for quick tips.

Getting what you really want depends on you and what you decide to take or leave.

How did I come up with this book? In 2003, the man I wanted to marry was in a car accident and died. He was an effective leader who gave his time to people and who truly cared about my well-being. It is because I had this experience of being loved and cherished but hadn't yet found that experience with someone else that this book was written.

The title is tongue-in-cheek. But the archetype is from the dog family, because dogs are socially closer to human beings, arguably, than any other animal group.

Even though it's aimed at men, women can get something from it, too. I hope you enjoy it. (The book is much funnier than this editorial.) And please leave feedback!

More About the Author

Wing Girl Kim (a.k.a. Kiai Kim) was born and raised in upstate New York to Korean immigrant parents. She studied Sociology at Vassar College earning a degree in Urban Studies. Prior to completing AlphaDog, Get The Bitch You Want, she wrote, produced, and performed on an EP titled, "Mayhem Songs", a collection of proto-punk songs.

Customer Reviews

An excellent book, and fun read.
David J. Johnson
At this point I feel like they are paraphrasing Dr. Alex's book to me and it feels like the author loses a lot of original and intriguing things to say.
Wing Girl wants to make an Alphadog out of you, and this book is the "How To" training manual to become one.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 47 people found the following review helpful By Kåre Fog on November 13, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The author does not reveal her real name, which I dislike. Why is she not open and honest here?

At first, you think that this book is a part of the pick up artist scene. We hear that the author serves as a `wing girl', and she recommends that you read Neil Straus's `The game'. But this is a smokescreen. Actually, the book is about how a well-meaning woman thinks that a nice young man should ideally behave.

She writes (p. 193) that if you follow the advice in the book, you will be a winner. "You won't regret it."
I think that if you follow the advice in the book, you WILL regret it. The book is said to be based on experience, but I doubt it. It seems much more based on the author's idealistic ideas about how the world should be, rather than how the world actually is. We hear that women appreciate such things as initiative, consideration and sincerity. Which, of course, sounds sympathetic. But will the considerate and sincere boy really get the girl? In the author's idealistic universe, yes. In this universe, the boy is a nice guy who loves his mom and reads the bible, and who is not aiming at immediate sex, but only a long term relationship. He honors the gender that carries mankind in its belly for nine months per soul, and he acknowledges that one in every three women has been sexually abused by the age of 18. Therefore, he avoids to frighten the girl by touching her, and he definitely does not go for sex at the first date. Instead he attempts to connect at a deep level and only thinks of a relationship after he has checked that she will be a good partner. And it is suggested to buy flowers for the girl to give her on the first date.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful By James 91710 on March 30, 2010
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
With a title like, "Alpha Dog, Get the Bitch You Want" by Wing Girl Kim, you might expect something geared for pickup artists, players and maybe even pimps. An that's unfortunate because this book is nothing like that. Which means a lot of regular guys are going to miss out on its wisdom due to the title, or player types are going to buy it thinking it's about pickup and seduction and be disappointed. It's a powerful title but ends up being a bait and switch.

In a nutshell, Wing Girl Kim uses the analogy of a wild dog pack to illustrate certain principles of pickup and attraction along with the typical, more traditional dating advice you would expect from a woman giving advice to a guy, such as treating women with sincerity, respect and chivalry, impressing her, not choosing a women based on her looks, avoiding same night lays, one-night stands, etc. Definitely not the kind of instruction you'd get from the pickup and seduction community but she does provide some helpful and unique dating advice and even quotes from Christian authors and the Bible a couple times.

Where the book falls short is the amount of space she devotes to personality types and Jungian psychology which adds nothing to the book except excess bulk. Instead of five plus chapters, a simple one chapter summary or overview could have gotten the point across just fine. It's almost as if she felt compelled to dazzle us with her scholarly fact, she admits as much saying, "Maybe I'm getting too psychobabbly here, but that's what happens when you read all sorts of scholarly literature."

All in all, this is a decent entry level guide for the nice-guy wanting to get his feet wet with women, or the older guy who's found himself single after a long term relationship.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful By InfoJunkie on July 7, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book is yet another of the many books on dating for men. There are several books that are actually good, but not this one. It takes many words to say very little. And the author let's her own personal biases as a woman interfere. Here's just one example of what I mean:
"Why do you want to date a beautiful woman?" She says it in a way that there's something wrong with wanting to do that. There's nothing wrong with setting a high standard for what you are looking for physically.

The book doesn't live up to the title. It's a book about relationships, not about attraction....not about getting the girl at all.

There are some totally distorted viewpoints in this book. I would strongly recommend that you use the search inside feature to read some before buying.

She states that women want respect, consideration, and integrity. Well, that's all well and good, but that has nothing to do with sparking attraction.

This author clearly has an axe to grind against the pickup community and seduction. If you are a woman you'll probably like the book. If you are a guy that want's to understand women or how to attract them...this is the wrong book.
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7 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Jason Mckay on September 2, 2009
Format: Paperback
Good stuff in a nutshell. We should know this stuff. We've heard a lot of this (without the good explanations) before. But we need it still. The Pickup Artist community is doing very well serving a need for a certain audience but this book serves all of us, whether we need help finding someone, finding out what we want in someone, or just serving as a reminder of what being a man is. When the tricks, lines and approaches are done, who and what do you want to be? This book lays it out in a way that we guys can get and from a woman's perspective so we know we're not hearing just another theory on getting girls. This book will not just help you in finding, getting and keeping the bitch you want. It's about being a grown-up. Being a man.
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