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Altared: Bridezillas, Bewilderment, Big Love, Breakups, and What Women Really Think About Contemporary Weddings [Kindle Edition]

Colleen Curran
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $13.95
Kindle Price: $9.99
You Save: $3.96 (28%)
Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

Original essays by Top Women Writers
Julianna Baggott _ Curtis Sittenfeld _ Catherine Ingrassia _ Elizabeth Crane 
Lara Vapnyar _ Lisa Carver _ Carina Chocano _ Rory Evans _ Jennifer Armstrong _ Elise Mac Adam _ Janelle Brown _ Daisy de Villeneuve _ Meghan Daum _ Amy Sohn _ Samina Ali _ Farah L. Miller _ Gina Zucker _ Kathleen Hughes _ Jacquelyn Mitchard _ Ruth Davis Konigsberg _ Lori Leibovich _ Julie Powell _ Jill Eisenstadt _ Anne Carle _ Amanda Eyre Ward _ Amy Bloom _ Dani Shapiro

Anyone who is intimated by the prospect of planning a wedding will laugh out loud and take solace in Altared. In this unexpected, heartwarming, thought-provoking collection, more than two dozen of our most perceptive and entertaining writers offer a wide range of takes on the modern wedding.  It's all here. Fantasies. Realities. Fond memories. A few regrets. From planning it to doing it and everything in between.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Curran solicits tart tales from 27 writers, normally willful and independent women, who, for the most part, have taken reluctant swan dives into the consumerist culture of the bridal industry. Contributors including Curtis Sittenfeld, Lisa Carver and Amy Sohn never thought they'd catch the bridal bug. Still, they each get lost in the fantasy but come out the other end with a meaningful realization. The essays delve into the fraught conversations, negotiations and neuroses around wedding vows, dress shopping, etiquette, registries and budgeting. Sticker shock is a common theme, among women who subvert the wedding industry with a DIY approach (Rory Evans topped cupcakes with handmade clothespin bride-and-groom figures), and others who pay a price despite saving money. Julie Powell's entertaining experience trying "to make a meal for hundreds into an expression of who you are" illuminated an incontrovertible equation: "hundreds of guests + unreasonable expectations + catering – billions of dollars = rubber chicken." Some of the more heartfelt pieces include Jennifer Armstrong's story of how she called off her wedding, and Lara Vapnyar's poignant recollection of a $16 gown and the leap of faith that marriage entails. Brides-to-be or women who've been there will easily see themselves in these true stories. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


“Darkly funny ruminations on getting hitched.” –People

“Refreshingly unsentimental.” O, The Oprah Magazine

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1263 KB
  • Print Length: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Vintage (December 10, 2008)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,111,431 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Are you hearing bells? May 10, 2007
Altared is a fanciful journey down the aisle of matrimony, ushered in with smiles, laughter and poignant moments. It is a compilation of wedding stories, edited by Colleen Curran, where each of the 27 authors artfully recalls a wedding experience from a personal perspective. This bouquet of witty, wedding tales is told in charming, eloquent writing.

We shop with Martha Stewart and recall Princess Diana's beautiful mega-wedding. Wedding cash outlay is debated and often shelled out in the thousands of dollars, for that dream that seems to be as much a part of our lives as other inevitable events. It is a glamour moment in fine satin, but also that real moment of sought-after harmony, a harmony often achieved, but also caught in the struggle of conflicting tastes, ideas and expectations.

The journey will not soon be forgotten and the reader may join in with fond memories or future inspiration. It is a reminder that although expensive elegance may be important, equally important is the handmade contribution and the kindness, love and adventure that touches each story.

Butter cream is blended with bitter chocolate and makes this a fun, fast read. It's about lives "altared," and in a good way.

Colleen Curran, who edited these stories, has just published a first novel, Whores on the Hill--an unabashedly sexual and mesmerizing read.

Armchair Interviews says this is bound to entertain anyone who has ever fallen in love or attended a wedding.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So glad I found this. May 9, 2007
I swear I have a hundred female friends who are getting married in the next year (or hoping to!), and now I've found the perfect gift to give to all of them for their bridal showers (real or imaginary).

Every experience a you could have as a past, present, or future bride is well documented here with wit and grace from an amazing collection of writers.

After reading a few essays, you begin to see quite clearly why the process of getting married makes us crazy. But more importantly, and this seems to be the overall message of the book, however insane your wedding may make you feel, you aren't alone! Countless brides before you have experienced the same trials and tribulations, joys, disappointments, and blessings you will.

For brides-to-be, Altared is like a reassuring best-friend, who happens to tell stories both hilarious and heart-wrenching.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read for the Married and Unmarried Alike August 14, 2007
I'm not part of the target demographic for Altared, since I've never dreamed of "the big day" or really imagined I'd ever get married. So I'm not really sure what drove me to pick it up save for the names of some of my favorite writers, like Lisa Carver. What I liked most about Altared is that it's not just anti-bridal industry or full of horror stories, but features women grappling with both their weddings and the countless issues weddings make us question. Even when the bulk of the essay is about the actual wedding day, the authors manage to say something more profound as well. The authors certainly don't escape their own barbs or criticism, but they are ultimately hopeful and humorous (of her gay wedding, Anne Carle writs: "What I remember is panic, worry, cold feet, and sometimes total and utter numbness. A coworker asked whether I felt like Bridezilla...but I actually felt more like Groomzilla.")

Jill Eisenstadt's "To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night" looks at a topic I'd never have thought was a question and humorously breaks down the myth that wedding night sex is a triumphant celebration. Even though there's a little bit of repetition about the evils of Bridezilla-mania, wedding magazines, and the like sprinkled throughout the anthology, those pale in comparison to the many diverse and touching stories here, from Anne Carle's "Weddings Aren't Just for Straight People Anymore" to Gina Zucker's tale of crashing her mother's wedding and Samina Ali's tale of two weddings, one arranged marriage, one chosen.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect Balance! July 6, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I titled this review "Perfect Balance" because I really think that most of the essays in this book strike a perfect balance between skepticism of the "Bridal Industry" and humility about the little Bridezilla that lurks somewhere within every bride.

The book was also wedding-positive without being naive. Many of the stories really changed my perspective on what my upcoming wedding will mean and made me think about different aspects in different ways, but never encouraged magical thinking or glorified spending or overstressing.

The bottom line of the majority of the stories was the beauty and meaning of love, which is what a wedding should be about. This book will make you think!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a welcomed oasis! May 10, 2007
so many books about weddings are either a collection of soul-tearing "honey do" lists or mind-numbing pablum (nobody is actually a princess and there are more important days in all of our lives).

to find actual literature that demands thoughtfullness and reflection is like manna from heaven. altared is an eclectic collection, well culled and perfectly edited. don't buy this book instead of looking at martha stewart's website. curl up with it when you need a break.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Mother of the groom!
The mother of the groom is definitely sort of the "B team" in a wedding, at least it seems that way sometimes for me, even with a wonderful daughter-in-law to be and her terrific... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Janeaustenruns
4.0 out of 5 stars Cringe-worthy and comforting
I got engaged in January, and I picked up this book in a bookstore after a couple of months of wedding frenzy: joining The Knot, compulsively buying wedding magazines (even though... Read more
Published on May 15, 2009 by A. Golbus
5.0 out of 5 stars Super Funny and REAL
This collection of real life stories is absolutely hilarious! Almost every story leaves you chuckling a little at the rediculousness that is the wedding industry and our society. Read more
Published on August 6, 2007 by Paula Kunze
5.0 out of 5 stars An "altaring" experience
This book is funny, and very informative. It confirms the idea that each bride is individual whether they succumb to the pressures of the multi billion dollar bridal industry or... Read more
Published on June 9, 2007 by Jomo
5.0 out of 5 stars Took me back
My husband and I have been married for 12 years now, but this took me back...and in so many different and authentic and enjoyable ways. Read more
Published on June 2, 2007 by Kristin Maschka
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun Read
Great, fun read. This book is a collection of amusing and touching essays

about weddings and relationships and the extensive culture and traditions... Read more
Published on June 1, 2007 by AnnD
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fun Read for Any Day
This is a very entertaining read (whether or not you're married or thinking about getting married). Each of the essays offers a different perspective and I really enjoyed browsing... Read more
Published on May 16, 2007 by D. Welt
5.0 out of 5 stars A great resource
I was a bridesmaid for the first time recently, and I wish I had had this book during the wedding planning process. Read more
Published on May 12, 2007 by N. Cho
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