Customer Reviews

Alternatives to Sex: A Novel

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I've been meaning to read Stephen McCauley (the author of "The Object of My Affections") for years. Happily, "Alternatives to Sex" has proven a great place to start. A social commentary and observational portrait of a forty-something gay man, this is the sort of novel once referred to as a comedy of manners.

At forty-four William Collins has discovered that his well appointed life, though expertly decorated and certainly clean (he's an obsessive compulsive), is both sterile and empty. William seems emotionally adrift, looking for sex in all the wrong places when what he's obviously seeking is love and companionship. He resolves to give up anonymous sex and focus on his professional and spiritual lives.

As a real estate agent William is a bust in a booming market. However, it is through his Boston real estate office that we meet most of the characters that populate McCauley's wonderfully inventive narrative. Most notably we meet Edward, a flight attendant prone to panic attacks since 9/11, who finds that unrequited love truly is a bore, and though he's got it pretty bad, he's ready to give up all hope that his friendship with William will ever blossom. So, though love may be just around the corner, our hero is just myopic enough that he has to walk around the block a dozen times before he stumbles upon it. It is to the author's credit that we as readers don't mind taking the walk with these characters, and hoping that William will open his eyes to the happiness right in front of him.

"Alternatives to Sex" is most decidedly an entertainment, the kind of novel Mrs. Smiley (from "Cold Comfort Farm") might refer to as amusing and diverting, so good it has inspired me to look for other books by McCauley. I can't think of higher praise than that.

This book definitely has its moments. The characters are cleverly drawn, from the neurotic narrator, William, to his fastidious flight attendant friend, Edward, to pugnacious ex-marine and professional motivator Marty.

There are moments of delicious irony, like when William talks to a real estate client about a salacious book she wrote about female sexuality that sold well because of its clever title, Come Again. Clearly McCauley chose his title for the same reason, though for me it had the effect of drawing a few vexed looks from people who saw me reading it.

And there are moments of profundity, appropriate as this is, more than anything else, the story of William figuring out what really matters. (He begins the book addicted to internet-arranged trysts and ends it with a notion of what it means to love someone.) His talks with his mother about the nature of love add up to an important lesson.

Just don't slow down! If you do, you'll figure out what's coming, and once you do you'll also begin to notice that there aren't enough pages left for it to happen. That's because it doesn't--McCauley chooses to end the book on the verge of the development it leads up to, rather than giving the reader the satisfaction of witnessing it. Perhaps this is meant to tell us that the journey to understanding what matters is more important than the destination, but it makes turning the last page a bit sad.

Nevertheless, this is a quality novel, but light enough to be perfect for summer. Definitely recommended, especially if you're looking for an interesting plot, pleasant but slightly warped characters, and plenty of wry humor.

The only bad part of this novel is that it ends. Had read all Mr. McCauley's other novels, and adored them. This one seems more mature and developed than the other books. I'm a sucker for characters in ruts that evolve and "grow-up" (as a character in the book, Marty, would say) and this novel did not disappoint. It's true that there weren't many suprises, but who needs those, in real life we figure out what others should do long before ever they do. The narrative is somehow a page-turner, yet moves slowly enough to flesh out so many realistic supporting characters as well. It was thrilling and heartwarming to witness William's transformation to adulthood without having morality crammed down our throats. I look forward to Mr. McCauley's next book.

I loved this book! I DID remember the characters names and found myself hoping William would find love and chill out from his internet sex obsession. Even though I am a straight 40something year old woman, I related to Edward and found him endearing in his own way. I felt all the characters were well written whether they were likeable or not.

As unseemly as the internet sex parts may be to some people, I found it enlightning to read how rampant and easy it is to hook up on line (especially for gay men). It is never too graphic to read. Clearly McCauley knows something about the subject or did his homework.

This is the first Stephen McCauley novel I have read and based on the reviews, I have several more to look forward to. I was anxious to get back to reading Alternatives to Sex when I had to put it down. Good writting, characters and story ... this guy has a sense of humor!

Stephen McCauley's latest is certainly well worth reading. He writes with a great deal of humor but with just as much insight as to why we as human animals do some of the things we do. The novel is set in Massachusetts a year after 9/11 when people are trying to be better, or they go shopping to feel better or they withdraw into themselves. William Collins is forty-something, a real estate agent working near Boston-- McCauley has either sold real estate or knows someone who has as his take on the industry seems to be right on target-- who decides that he must do something about his life, that he will become celibate -- with an occasional lapse-- and concentrate on his profession. William is a compulsive housecleaner; irons and vacuum cleaners are some of his favorite things. He meets most of his dates on the internet where his name is Everett and his age is not accurate. His best friend is Edward, a flight attendant stationed in Boston who has anxiety attacks when he flies because of the aftershocks of 9/11. William rents out an apartment to Kumiko, an artist who is more con-artist then anything else. She manipulates William into not paying her rent and even gets him to do her ironing, although he never learns how to iron pleated skirts. There are several other assorted characters-- Charlotte and Samuel (a happy couple?), Didier, a boyfriend whom he does not sleep with because of his new celibacy, William's mother in a retirement home, whose love object she has met only via the internet, et al.

McCauley though his characters, usually William but not always, says both funny and sometimes profound things: William's idea of exercise is "making plans to go to the gym." "You can choose who you go to bed with, but you can't choose his decor." The only difference William believes between straight and gay men is that straight men "rarely buy their own clothes." He is convinced that manners went out with talk radio and that heterosexual men only use the word "fabulous" around gay men. God, Mozart and a seat cushion that doubles as a flotation device "give you a little lift, the passing illusion the universe isn't completely chaotic and that you just might be able to swim to shore." People who try to sell their homes without listing them with a real estate agent are the "same people who home-school their children, vacation in gigantic recreational vehicles, and do morris dancing." Finally William's discussion of the differences between religion and spirituality is worth the price of the book. He calls religion spirituality's "sturdier cousin," with rules, rewards and punishments and some kind of God. He associates spirituality, however, with eye pillows, green tea and unmelodic music." William opines that he operates on a "premise of muted pessimism" and doesn't expect great things of himself, a less than positive approach to living. On the other hand, he does some very decent things for several people, including Edward at the end of the novel, that leaves the reader with a whiff of hope about the future of the Williames of the world. That may be all we need.

This novel will not disappoint you.

I'm a huge fan of Stephen McCauley's writing. I love his descriptions which are so humorously picturesque they will make you laugh out loud even if you are usually the quiet type who just grins.

Stephen McCauley's latest novel, Alternatives to Sex, returns to his most popular method of delivery, the first person point of view. The protagonist, William Collins, has an addiction to internet sex hookups, which could make the character offensive and unlikeable if not for his other more endearing qualities, such as his obssession with housecleaning and worries about offending his chronically behind-in-the-rent tenant.

William's actions are sometimes hypocritical but that seems to be a characteristic of pretty much our entire society these days. We want to save the rainforests so we prove it by putting a SAVE THE RAINFORESTS bumper sticker on our gas-guzzling SUVs. We say you can't judge a book by its cover but are secretly making plans for an extreme makeover.

The beauty of McCauley's novels lies in his ability to choose just the right words to convey an image, often comic yet sometimes deeply moving, and in his keen observations of the human condition. If you want a predictable plot-oriented novel this is not for you. But if you like to think and laugh and be surprised you'd adore any of Stephen McCauley's five novels so far, including this latest gem, Alternatives to Sex.

I've long been a fan of Stephen McCauley's. No one writes about relationships and about the sometimes sadness that simmers under the hilarity the way he does. And, of course, there isn't a wittier or smarter writer on the planet. Alternatives to Sex is just brilliant. 9/11 informs the story of obsessive real estate agent William who falls for Edward, a flight attendant, who of course, is more than a bit skittish about flying. A terrific novel about reinvention and the possibilities of giving in to another human heart, and it's flat out wonderful.

It's hard for me to get in to a book without finding something likable or at least "interesting-to-the-point-of-overriding-dislike" in regards to the characters. My big problem with "Alternatives" was that I hated all the damn people in it. McCauley's skill as a writer--which is quite solid--could not save this book for me, and the only reason I finished it was because I had enjoyed other books he has written before and since this one. (It's almost as if I finished it out of spite. "THERE, I've finished your DAMN BOOK! Happy now?!")

While the prose was pleasing in and of itself, the two dimensional, unaware characters schlepping through this muddled, drawn out story was a waste of my time. Some books I keep forever. Others get donated to friends or the library. This one went in the recycle bin.

right along with De Beauvoir's "The Mandarins". A complete coincidence. But it didn't keep me from putting McCauley's book down halfway through. I wondered if the narrator would do anything besides continue to break his celibacy vow and pass endless judgement on his fellow 2-dimensional characters. Very light reading that wasn't the guilty pleasure I was expecting.

I guess we all have different reasons for picking up a book (which is a totally different topic for discussion), but perhaps my primary one is wanting to have a good time. And these days, a "good time" for me often involves a good deal of laughter, which Stephen McCauley delivers so reliably throughout this book.

Having found I could "rely" on this characteristic of McCauley's writing, I quickly proceeded to make my way through all his other books, ending with "The Object of My Affection." What a find this guy is! It's been a very long time since I've received such enjoyment from a writer. I even had to send him an email to thank him!

McCauley offers other delicacies besides humor in his books, all of which I find simply delightful and delicious. He gives wonderful descriptions of his surroundings, whether a view from a window or the sounds of traffic in Cambridge or the apartments his "hero" shows to his clients. I love the way he lets his characters speak and then gives us William's reaction to, or interpretation of, what was said. He shows us the best and worst of his people, which gets me to thinking about my own friends. Just when I thought they were my bosom-buddies, they do something outrageously annoying or hurtful. Then I remember that I can forgive them because, not only do they forgive me all the time, but because they, like me, are just human beings bumping along as best they can in this outrageous world.

A last word or two. McCauley does take his time between novels, and I'm glad he does. Even though I would like to have a continuous read from him for the next umpteen years, I also want to allow him all the time he needs to create his next captivating tale in the superb manner he has done so far.

And the "uh-oh" in the title of my review, for those who didn't quite get it, refers to the idea that novel-reading (MCCAULEY novel-reading) is the best fun I've had in years, as if I had no other sources of entertainment. And so I'll leave the rest of this thought with you, the reader.

Please tell all your friends about this book. Buy it and send it for Christmas or for no reason at all. Let's keep Stephen McCauley employed, supported and knowing we're out here waiting for him.