I Am America (And So Can You!) [Hardcover]

Stephen Colbert (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 9, 2007

Congratulations--just by looking at this webpage, you became 25% more patriotic.

From Stephen Colbert, the host of television's highest-rated punditry show The Colbert Report, comes the book to fill the other 23¿ hours of your day. I Am America (And So Can You!) contains all of the opinions that Stephen doesn't have time to shoehorn into his nightly broadcast.

Dictated directly into a microcassette recorder over a three-day weekend, this book contains Stephen's most deeply held knee-jerk beliefs on The American Family, Race, Religion, Sex, Sports, and many more topics, conveniently arranged in chapter form.

Always controversial and outspoken, Stephen addresses why Hollywood is destroying America by inches, why evolution is a fraud, and why the elderly should be harnessed to millstones.

You may not agree with everything Stephen says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong.

I Am America (And So Can You!) showcases Stephen Colbert at his most eloquent and impassioned. He is an unrelenting fighter for the soul of America, and in this book he fights the good fight for the traditional values that have served this country so well for so long.

Please buy this book before you leave the store

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Realizing that it takes more than thirty minutes a night to fix everything that's destroying America, Colbert bravely takes on the forces aligned to destroy our country—whether they be terrorists, environmentalists, or Kashi brand breakfast cereals. His various targets include nature (I've never trusted the sea. What's it hiding under there?), the Hollywood Blacklist (I would have named enough names to fill the Moscow phone book), and atheists (Imagine going through life completely duped into thinking that there's no invisible, omniscient higher power guiding every action on Earth. It's just so arbitrary!). Colbert also provides helpful illustrations and charts (Things That Are Trying to Turn Me Gay) [and] a complete transcript of his infamous speech at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner [...] all of which add up to a book that is sure to be a bestseller and match the success of Colbert's former Daily Show boss Jon Stewart's America (The Book). (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

The funnyman host of Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report rants about things that are wrong with America, offering his “knee jerk beliefs” on everything from the liberal media to environmentalists. If we continue to secularize Christmas, he screeches, former carolers will become wandering, alcoholic bums, and insects will grow into giant, munching minivans. He advocates legalizing performance-enhancing drugs for athletes, since sports are entertainment. Taking on a blowhard persona, he attacks atheists—how could a god exist who created a group that so pisses him off? Atheists are more hated than gays, to whom we at least entrust our hair. Interspersed with Colbert’s shrill tirades are the voices of other characters, notably the more modulated tones of God, who claims to be fair since he does not intercede in the outcome of sports on which he bets. Patriotic drums, a mariachi band, and other music accompanies this hilarious audio. Colbert fans will approve. --Whitney Scott --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing; 1 edition (October 9, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446580503
• ISBN-13: 978-0446580502
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 1 x 9.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (534 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #101,421 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #70 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Political

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

118 of 135 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Side-splitting, laugh-out-loud hysterical... November 5, 2007

By Cynthia K. Robertson TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

I read many books in the course of a year, and I tend to rotate between histories, biographies, fiction and mysteries. But every once in a while, I'll read a book that is pure entertainment. Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You) is side-splitting, laugh-out-loud hysterical!

Colbert is best known for his TV satire on Comedy Central, The Colbert Report. Cobert plays a clueless right-wing pundit who has an opinion on everything--which is never based on fact. The book is divided into three sections, which are then divided into chapters. The chapters cover such hot topics as Sports, Sex & Dating, Homosexuals, Higher Education, Race, The Media, and Science. Cobert gives us his irreverent and uneducated opinion on all things America. "See, at one time, America was pure. Men were men, women were women, and gays were confirmed bachelors." On movies, "once fantastic dreamscapes where cowboys fought Indians and gay men kissed Elizabeth Taylor, became squalid nightmares where cowboys turned tricks and hillbillies kissed Ned Beatty." Colbert includes a whole glassary on science. For Geology, "The last thing I need is a bunch of dust-covered fossil sweepers telling me that the Earth is four billion years old." Also, the author used to be "pro-Fahrenheit" until he found out it was named for a Dutchman. "I don't want my thermometer taking orders from some Amsterdam stoner who got bonged out of his mind one night and started messing around with mercury."

There are also fun things in I Am America. There are two sets of stickers, games, interviews, and the first edition even has a red ribbon bookmark. There are also funny margin notes and footnotes on each page, although I'll "whine" and complain that the print on these could be larger. As a special bonus, he reprints his White House Correspondent's Dinner speech.

Although Colbert plays a dim TV talking head, in real life, he is brilliant, creative and downright funny. If you like The Colbert Report, you'll love I Am America. Even if you don't watch the show, you'll find it a hoot.

46 of 58 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Quirky--But exactly what one would expect from Stephen Colbert February 10, 2008

By Steven A. Peterson TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

If you know about Stephen Colbert, you'll get a buzz out of this. If you don't, you may be outraged, confused, or God knows what. I got this as a Christmas present, and have found this book hilarious. No sacred cows for Colbert! And that will delight some and anger others.

Hey, I'm a college professor/administrator, and he takes shots at me and my ilk! And I love it! On page 119, he says: "If there's a bigger contributor to left-wing elitist brainwashing than colleges and universities, I'd like to see it. There's an old saying, 'A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.' Which means a lot of knowledge must be a really dangerous thing." On the next page, he notes one of the horrors of college (page 120): "The more you know, the sadder you get."

As he points out at the outset (page vii), "Well, like a lot of other dictators, there is one man's opinion I value above all others. Mine."

His segment on families is outrageous--and funny. He begins by noting that "I'm against children" (page 10). Then, he goes on to lay out a number of laws/tips regarding child raising, among which are items that parents will chuckle over.

What about the elderly? No sacred cow here. He notes that (page 23) "After criminals and babies, seniors are the most coddled segment of the population."

On religion and religious freedom (page 48): "Since the Pilgrims were victims of persecution, some assume they were tolerant. That's just liberal propaganda. Sure they were against persecution...of Pilgrims."

And he reflects on the Olympics, on sports generally, on the media (look at his comments on the major networks on page 154), and science (hilarious).

He concludes by noting (among other things) (page 213): "But make no mistake--my book isn't a monologue; it's a dialogue--a dialogue between me and my opinions, and you've been welcomed to eavesdrop on us."

A funny book. People who accept Colbert's humor will like it. Those who don't? They won't. . . .

82 of 106 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Behold! The power of Colbert! September 9, 2007

By Nathaniel Jones

Format:Hardcover

Over the three day weekend I happened to find myself in an old-growth national forest looking for tree-huggers to punch in the gullet when I found myself face to face with a towering, black (or so I was told later - I don't see color) Godless Killing Machine.

Of course I would have fought it, had I not injured one of my wrists in a thrilling arm wrestling match with speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi, but as it was, I was left defenseless - except for my copy of "I Am America (And So Can You!)"

Thinking quickly I took the book from my pack and threw it at the charging bear. The throw was strong, my aim was true, and the book hit the beast right on the bean, giving him pause long enough to get distracted from his pursuit by the glowing image of Colbert's face on the cover.

It was in that moment that Stephen and the Bear locked eyes that the full power of truthiness rose from the book and covered the entire forest with a warm tingly sensation, similar to that felt while using "Herbal Essences."

The bear, under the hypnotic spell of Colbert's book, decided then to give up his life as a godless killing machine, to shed his fur, and follow the path of righteousness. From that day forward, this creature would no longer be known as "bear," but now... as "Sean Hannity."

And that's the word.