I Am Better Than Your Kids [Hardcover]

Maddox (Author)

Book Description

Release date: November 1, 2011

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Alphabet of Manliness comes I Am Better Than Your Kids, an ingenious critique of children's artwork squeezed from the teats of Maddox's talented fingers. Finally a book that cuts those smug little monsters down to size. If you think children are precious snowflakes who are perfect in every way, think again. If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid's childhood, then you are a sucker.

Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996 (which receives over 1 million unique visitors per month), is here to tell you how your kids are inferior, and why it matters. Based on his most popular feature on his website, I Am Better Than Your Kids, and featuring 99 percent exclusive new content, Maddox tells it like it is by saying what we're all thinking when we see a child's art.

For the first time in published form, Maddox has included his own childhood drawings for criticism. Don't think he can draw better than your kids? Judge for yourself. From sub-par valentines, homemade "gifts," to crafts and even pictures of children, no aspect of juvenile production is spared! Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox's world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world's foremost authority on children's crappy artwork.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Maddox has been writing hilarious essays for his site, thebestpageintheuniverse.com since 1996. Through word-of-mouth alone, it has become one of the most popular personal sites on the Internet, with more than 50,000 unique visitors per day. In 2006, he published his first book, The Alphabet of Manliness, and its explosive success prompted the New York Times to coin a new phrase to describe its genre: "fratire." Maddox has also published a comic book based on his site and he has a YouTube channel called "The Best Show in the Universe" featuring clips viewed by more than 3 million fans.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Gallery Books (November 1, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1439182868
• ISBN-13: 978-1439182864
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 7.7 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (79 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #148,457 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

#2 New York Times bestselling author. Maddox runs the site "The Best Page in the Universe" found at: http://maddox.xmission.com. Former computer programmer and mathematics major, Maddox started writing in 1997, and focused on writing full-time in 2004. His debut book is "The Alphabet of Manliness," which hit #1 on Amazon's bestseller list. Maddox is especially skilled at being awesome.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 36 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful book, coffee-table quality November 3, 2011

By A Customer

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

This long-anticipated collection of Maddox's harsh criticism of children's drawings is, unlike the pathetic "artwork" produced by children, no disappointment.

The book itself is a work of art. It's not just a cheaply-printed gag book. All pages are printed in color with a glossy finish. The dust jacket has a slight raised texture for the picture frame.

It has THREE HUNDRED PAGES, so it isn't just a printing of the drawings from the website. Yes, the classics are in there (such as the fire truck on the cover), but most of it is new unseen material.

The drawings being reviewed aren't just printed in the middle of a blank page. Instead, each piece of artwork is set amongst decorative toys appropriate for the topic (e.g., all of the vehicle drawings are surrounded by toy cars and other stuff). Maddox's commentary is neatly printed on legal paper within the image.

113 of 125 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Modest Review of a Masterpiece November 4, 2011

By Mike C

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

"To be great is to be misunderstood."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1841

It is not often that a work of literature is as controversial as it is cautionary. When Mark Twain penned "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," he illustrated the dangers of racial bias that, at the time, threatened to regress into a pre-Civil War mentality. During an era when the fear of totalitarian rule was near its peak, George Orwell's "1984" provided a glimpse into a future in which human rights were of no consequence. In "I Am Better Than Your Kids," Maddox treads on what is held by many as sacred ground to deliver a prophetic warning about the dangers of overindulging children with undeserved praise.

Our present day culture is quickly becoming a bottleneck to progress. Throughout history, we have grown as a species as the pioneers of previous generations passed their knowledge on to their progeny. Yet, this fundamental attribute of humans that distinguishes us from other animals is overwhelmingly lost on the majority as we observe a world mired by apathy and self-entitlement, spawned from a pervasive lack of appreciation for our journey through time. While it has been said that education begins at home, the author makes the case that perhaps the disingenuousness of parents with regard to their children is a fundamental flaw of our society. The artwork presented in his book is a mere sampling of the vast collective museum showcased on refrigerator doors throughout the civilized world: each new work as indistinguishably bad as the last, serving only to increase entropy as yet another uninspired caricature is hoisted up for all to see. Consequently, true individualism and originality are stifled by the reverberating echo of mouth-breathing ineptitude continuously reinforced by the prevailing, yet mendacious, consensus that everyone is a star. We are witnessing the withering of creativity. The final Renaissance of humanity has come and passed.

Some may criticize his book as a misopedic tirade. Others may disregard it as a frivolous and self-defeating satire that will ephemerally resonate with a juvenile demographic. Please do not subscribe to these single-minded, dismissive trains of thought. When the initial shock has passed, you will realize that "I Am Better Than Your Kids" is a magnum opus - a compilation realized only through years of painstaking work and meticulous editing. While it is undeniably humorous and bold, it contains a brilliant critique of society that is readily apparent to the astute reader amidst the tapestry of profanities. The author's candid approach toward the character conditioning of children is reminiscent of the ancient Spartan agoge system. He seeks to atone for the sins of a generation corrupted by Nickelodeon and MTV - restoring dignity to a world in which human empowerment has been stripped down to a touch-tone vote for a talent show contestant.

In the introduction, Maddox stresses the excessive use of the phrase "good job," proposing that gratuitous praise is the catalyst for the modern-day cesspool of cultural ingenuity. Perhaps such vacant speech has become T.S. Eliot's proverbial whimper proclaiming the end of our world.

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Uproarious November 3, 2011

By Matt B

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book is not just amusing; it is laugh-out-loud, side-splitting hilarity. I was only thirty pages into it and I had to put it down because I couldn't breathe. It surpasses Alphabet of Manliness and any work Maddox has ever put on his website.

If you're reading this book and didn't laugh, don't bother posting a negative review. Call your doctor and check your medical records because chances are you've had a lobotomy.