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I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace With Mom--Before It's Too Late Hardcover – April 10, 2006


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Basic Books; English Language edition (April 10, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0465037542
  • ISBN-13: 978-0465037544
  • Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 0.9 x 9.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,031,290 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

At 50, American University communications professor Krasnow (Surrendering to Marriage) reconciled with her difficult mother, a Holocaust survivor and former saleswoman. Here she gathers insights from other adult women with diverse backgrounds and experiences but similar life wisdom: "Ditching old baggage and learning to love our mothers must come before we learn to love, and know, ourselves." A private investigator becomes caretaker to her highly competent mother, a former nurse, and discovers that the Superwoman is merely human; a Trinidadian immigrant and victim of spousal abuse accepts her lawyer daughter's lesbianism and gains her respect. A therapist and survivor of eating disorders shares a marital problem with her "historically non-empathetic" mother and is gratified by her response; a social services professional pushing 70 learns to cope with the 96-year-old family matriarch who still treats her like a child. Celebrities get to vent, too: singer Chynna Phillips reconnects with her neglectful rock star mother, Michelle, of the Mamas and the Papas, as they bond over Chynna's children and a passion for music. Although it doesn't pack the punch that Nancy Friday's revolutionary My Mother/My Self did in its day, Krasnow's worthy effort will resonate with introspective baby boomers.(May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"The overall message...is clear and heartening: If we as daughters can learn to understand our mothers before they die, then we as mothers can help our daughters understand us, while we are still living." Washington Post" --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Thank you for blessing daughters everywhere!
Pollyanna C. Haas
And if you're lucky enough to still have your mother and have a good realationship with her, this book could very well help you appreciate it all the more.
Phil Elkins
Iris Krasnow's newest book, 'I am My Mother's Daughter' is a MUST read for all women 18 - 75....or any adult woman with a mother.
Moe Hanson

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

79 of 83 people found the following review helpful By Buyland on June 25, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I received this book in the mail this week. A "gift" from my mother, with whom I have had an impossible relationship since I was 8 years old. From her inscription, the gift was her attempt to "enlighten" me. I read the book cover to cover, and thought the stories were very touching, and can completely understand the writers' needs to make peace with their pasts. Unfortunately, I didn't find much enlightenment regarding the relationship with my own mother, whose advancing alcoholism, mental illness, and refusal to acknowledge same, make it impossible to sustain a peaceful, healthy relationship.

I called my mother to discuss the book, only to discover that she hasn't even read it! Obviously, her "gift" was just another attempt to manipulate and control through guilt.

That said, I think this book is very good if your relationship with your mother is less than close, and if both parties want to live in harmony. However, if your mother continues to attack your self-worth and self esteem, I highly recommend another title, Susan Forward's Toxic Parents. Some relationships are just toxic at the core, and thus, need not be repaired. You should not be made to feel guilty if you can't fix it before they pass away. It takes both parties to call a truce.
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Moe Hanson on April 19, 2006
Format: Hardcover
Iris Krasnow's newest book, 'I am My Mother's Daughter' is a MUST read for all women 18 - 75....or any adult woman with a mother. The healing quality of Ms. Krasnow's words are precious and necessary to all of us struggling to understand our mothers and ourselves.

If you take the time this year to read only one book, make it this one.
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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Ellyn D on May 12, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I am so glad I read this book. Reading about other women's relationships with their mothers and hearing Iris' personal story gave me a whole new outlook on my relationship with my mother. Thank goodness I found this book before it was too late. It has enabled me to let go of the past and start anew with my mom. I can't believe how easy it was to make that shift. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to Ms. Krasnow and her brilliant work. And... I read it in one sitting! An absolute must read whether your mom is living or not.

Ellen
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By naturopathicnd on August 27, 2006
Format: Hardcover
This book is a beautiful piece of work. It contains interviews with women talking intimately and honestly about relationships with their Mother's. The women are different ages, different backgrounds and in various stages of healing in their relationships.

In reading this, it gives you a perspective that whatever you have experienced with your Mother, you are not alone in that experience, other women have been through similar, some have overcome hardships with feelings of anger and resentment and now have managed to forgive to experience beautiful close bonds that they never believed possible. Others still see-saw between annoyance and admiration, with some tips on how they are working through their issues and what works for them in dealing with feelings of irritation that arise. It is inspiring to be able to read the words of women at various stages of life.

The best thing about this book is that it is not written by one person with one opinion that may or may not be relevant to the reader's situation, it is written by many women beautifully collected and put together by the author and so there will be relevance to all readers within it's pages.

This book is life changing for all that seek to create a deeper bond with their Mother's - highly recommended.
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20 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Pollyanna C. Haas on April 9, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I admit to being a huge fan of the author, Iris Krasnow. Her writing speaks to the heart of all of us. You will be challenged to love and appreciate what you have and what you had. For better or for worse, YOUR mother is the only one you have. Make it count. No regrets. You will grow as a person and daughter. You will be inspired to become a better mother yourself. Read it now - before it's too late! Iris, this my be your best work to date! Thank you for blessing daughters everywhere!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Donna on September 30, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book could not have come at a better time for me. My mother is just weeks away from her death. I love this author. She writes in a very human, very real-life kind of way, which is hard to come by. A perfect book for any woman who is in midlife with a mother who is still alive (or not). I found reading other women's stories of their relationships with their mothers quite revealing and healing.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Dawn De Lorenzo on August 4, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The most important thing to know up front about this book is that it is not a self-help book. Krasnow does not outline how to reconcile your relationship with your mother, but the advice is loud and clear: DO IT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. Krasnow interviewed over a hundred middle aged women about their relationships with their aging and ailing mothers. This book is a compilation of poignant stories about both the agony and the bliss of being our mothers' daughters. Krasnow's message is a simple, yet powerful:

"I challenge every midlife daughter to consider this: What good is this old hate doing for you, for her, for your children, for your spouse, for anyone else you know? Letting go of hating your mother is actually more selfish than selfless. Because you just may find, as I did when shaken awake after my mom lost her leg, that the woman who bore you still has a lot to teach you about courage and commitment and growing up at any age. Don't miss out on the final act - it's the best part of all in the mother-daughter show. Listen hard and spill all while your aging mother is present and when change is still possible. I'm asking every question I was afraid to ask and talking very fast as my mother's short term memory is fading. Closing the wounds takes backing off from a stubborn stand-off, sucking it up, and saying 'I'm sorry,' even if you're not sorry one bit. Who cares if you are right and your mother is wrong? It won't matter when she's dead. What matters is coming to a resolution, smoothing things out - now. Your mother will win anyhow, when she passes into heavenly peace while you are left behind simmering in guilt and rage. Making up in this lifetime makes you the winner.
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