I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace with Mom--Before It's Too Late [Paperback]

Iris Krasnow (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 10, 2007

Iris Krasnow-mother, daughter, and bestselling journalist-tackles the toughest relationship in the lives of many grown women: the mother-daughter bond. With women’s life expectancy inching up past 80, you may be embroiled with your mother well past the time your own hair turns white. The good news: Living longer means more time to make peace-and this book shows you how. Drawing on her own experience with her colorful 85-year-old mother and the collective wisdom of more than 100 other adult daughters, Krasnow offers a fresh perspective on how to overcome the anger, guilt, and resentment that can destroy a family. The time to repair the bond is now, she reminds us: You can’t kiss and make up at her funeral. The key is to let go of the fantasy mom and embrace the flesh-and-blood woman, with all her flaws.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

At 50, American University communications professor Krasnow (Surrendering to Marriage) reconciled with her difficult mother, a Holocaust survivor and former saleswoman. Here she gathers insights from other adult women with diverse backgrounds and experiences but similar life wisdom: "Ditching old baggage and learning to love our mothers must come before we learn to love, and know, ourselves." A private investigator becomes caretaker to her highly competent mother, a former nurse, and discovers that the Superwoman is merely human; a Trinidadian immigrant and victim of spousal abuse accepts her lawyer daughter's lesbianism and gains her respect. A therapist and survivor of eating disorders shares a marital problem with her "historically non-empathetic" mother and is gratified by her response; a social services professional pushing 70 learns to cope with the 96-year-old family matriarch who still treats her like a child. Celebrities get to vent, too: singer Chynna Phillips reconnects with her neglectful rock star mother, Michelle, of the Mamas and the Papas, as they bond over Chynna's children and a passion for music. Although it doesn't pack the punch that Nancy Friday's revolutionary My Mother/My Self did in its day, Krasnow's worthy effort will resonate with introspective baby boomers.(May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"The overall message...is clear and heartening: If we as daughters can learn to understand our mothers before they die, then we as mothers can help our daughters understand us, while we are still living." Washington Post"

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Basic Books (April 10, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0465037550
• ISBN-13: 978-0465037551
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,064,768 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 60 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Great book, but not applicable to every relationship., June 25, 2006

By 

Buyland (Orlando, FL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace With Mom--Before It's Too Late (Hardcover)

I received this book in the mail this week. A "gift" from my mother, with whom I have had an impossible relationship since I was 8 years old. From her inscription, the gift was her attempt to "enlighten" me. I read the book cover to cover, and thought the stories were very touching, and can completely understand the writers' needs to make peace with their pasts. Unfortunately, I didn't find much enlightenment regarding the relationship with my own mother, whose advancing alcoholism, mental illness, and refusal to acknowledge same, make it impossible to sustain a peaceful, healthy relationship.

I called my mother to discuss the book, only to discover that she hasn't even read it! Obviously, her "gift" was just another attempt to manipulate and control through guilt.

That said, I think this book is very good if your relationship with your mother is less than close, and if both parties want to live in harmony. However, if your mother continues to attack your self-worth and self esteem, I highly recommend another title, Susan Forward's Toxic Parents. Some relationships are just toxic at the core, and thus, need not be repaired. You should not be made to feel guilty if you can't fix it before they pass away. It takes both parties to call a truce.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST READ, April 19, 2006

By 

Moe Hanson (Ussy, France) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace With Mom--Before It's Too Late (Hardcover)

Iris Krasnow's newest book, 'I am My Mother's Daughter' is a MUST read for all women 18 - 75....or any adult woman with a mother. The healing quality of Ms. Krasnow's words are precious and necessary to all of us struggling to understand our mothers and ourselves.
If you take the time this year to read only one book, make it this one.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Life altering book!!!!, May 12, 2006

By 

Ellyn D (San Carlos, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace With Mom--Before It's Too Late (Hardcover)

I am so glad I read this book. Reading about other women's relationships with their mothers and hearing Iris' personal story gave me a whole new outlook on my relationship with my mother. Thank goodness I found this book before it was too late. It has enabled me to let go of the past and start anew with my mom. I can't believe how easy it was to make that shift. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to Ms. Krasnow and her brilliant work. And... I read it in one sitting! An absolute must read whether your mom is living or not.
Ellen