Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.

Buy Used
$3.98
Used: Acceptable | Details
Sold by ToyBurg
Condition: Used: Acceptable
Comment: Eligible for FREE Super Saving Shipping! Fast Amazon shipping plus a hassle free return policy mean your satisfaction is guaranteed! Good readable copy. Worn edges and covers and may have creases. The cover may have significant wear. There may be page curls. It is possible that there are heavy highlights or writing in this book. All pages are there and otherwise item is in good condition.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

I Am Not a Cop!: A Novel Hardcover – October 14, 2008

3.8 out of 5 stars 24 customer reviews

See all 7 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Price
New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Hardcover
"Please retry"
$0.01 $0.01

Top 20 lists in Books
Top 20 lists in Books
View the top 20 best sellers of all time, the most reviewed books of all time and some of our editors' favorite picks. Learn more

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Those looking for a new crime series starring an author's fictional alter ego to fill the void left by Kinky Friedman's series that ended with Ten Little New Yorkers shouldn't expect too much from the fiction debut of actor and standup comic Belzer, best known for his role as Det. John Munch in Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. When an old friend of Belzer's, New York City assistant medical examiner Rudy Markovich, disappears under suspicious circumstances, Belzer decides to investigate. After the actor finds a clue referring to four recent deaths, he and Kalisha Carter, the attractive woman his producer assigns to keep an eye on him, dig into those cases with mostly predictable results. Action sequences alternate with the detection, allowing Belzer to show off his martial-arts skills. Hopefully, Belzer's acerbic screen persona will be more on display in any sequel. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal

What's in a name? For many browsers, the probable answer is "a lot." Belzer is the equine-faced actor who has fashioned a career portraying wisecracking yet lovable Detective John Munch on TV's popular Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. A former stand-up comic and current conspiracy theorist, Belzer adds another string to his bow here as a detective novelist. With that level of name recognition, the fact that the book delivers the goods is almost superfluous. In the story, Belzer is busy filming the series. He's played a cop so long that maybe he thinks he is one; he's taking self-defense classes just in case. A good friend, a Russian émigré and New York medical examiner, gives Belz a ticket to a fight, just before they are attacked by Ukrainian-spouting thugs. After Rudi mysteriously disappears, Belz receives a letter that includes four alphanumeric entries plus a cryptic message, and he's off on a chase that involves the Russkies, the blood diamond trade, and some similes that will make Raymond Chandler fans crack a smile as big as the Ritz. Deft comic timing, the gruff persona, and a lively, if predictable, story will satisfy fans and maybe even create some. Recommended for all public libraries. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 6/15/06.]—Bob Lunn, Kansas City P.L., MO
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1 edition (October 14, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1416570667
  • ISBN-13: 978-1416570660
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 1 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,548,352 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
Richard Belzer's first foray into fiction, "I Am Not a Cop," is a fine blend of Belz as a self-insert, a character in his own tale of his missing friend, Russian thugs, the rock trade, a Ukrainian boxer, martial arts, a very mysterious redhead and a personal assistant named Kalisha ("Kali") Carter - in addition to various other characters, all of whom are memorable and well-developed.

To put it bluntly, this book is one hell of a great ride and a terrific example of Belzer's adeptness with noir lit. After reading his most famous non-fiction work, "UFOs, JFK and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to be Crazy to Believe," as well as his ghost-writing of Ireland's previous Secretary of State Mo Mowlam's "Momentum"), it was always clear to me the guy knows how to spill his wit by way of the pen. I wondered what was in store for his fiction, especially since his co-author's (Michael Black's) style is very different from that of The Belz. Their styles meshed from the start, leaving me to wonder where one began and the other ended.

For those of you unfamiliar with the basic plot, it unfolds with Belz meeting a dear friend, Rudy Markovich, over dinner one night. Rudy's a troubled man, but he won't divulge to Richard exactly why. After a post-prandial brawl with some dangerous Ukrainians, Rudy bids Belz goodnight with the promise to meet him at Madison Square Garden for Alexi Zotkin's boxing match. He never shows, which starts Belz unraveling the mystery of his friend's disappearance.

Assigned a personal assistant, the intrepid Kali Carter, to `keep him out of trouble' after his street brawl made the local rag, he and Carter delve deep into a world of Russian diamond traders and political intrigue, all the while shadowed by sleaze-bag reporter Cyrus Gustafson.
Read more ›
Comment 14 of 16 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover
If you like Munch on Law and Order:SVU, you'll like this book because you can see him doing his thing here. The plot is very clever as Richard as himself is the main character but he is acting like Munch. I read a lot of mysteries and this one was good.
Comment 7 of 8 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover
I just finished reading the book about 10 minutes ago, and I thought it was very good. I must admit that it was my first mystery novel since my Encyclopedia Brown days, nevertheless I thought Richard Belzer made a terrific entrance into the world of fiction. It is a compelling mystery laced with humorous thoughts, which had me laughing to myself on almost every page. I truly hope he decides to write another book in this genre, because this one was absolutely a great read.
Comment 10 of 13 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover
I've been a fan of Richard Belzer's work - his stand-up comedy, conspiracy-theorizing, and his acting (especially the role of the durable Detective Munch) for a long time. So, I was pretty interested to see he'd written some detective novels. Even more interesting was that Belzer made himself the main character, rather than creating a whole new fictional persona or, perhaps, even translating Detective Munch into the literary domain.

This main conceit works surprisingly well. Belzer's persona comes across clearly in book form, and suits the genre really well. There isn't a lot of soul-baring, but it's interesting that Belzer didn't mind showing himself to be unlikable at times, irritating at others, and a bit more soft-hearted than one might expect at even other times. I also chuckled when Belzer had his fictional self getting the best of various thugs by way of kung fu. I get the feeling Belzer himself got a kick (pun intended) at writing himself as an action hero.

The plot touches upon Belzer's penchant for conspiracy theories. I don't want to talk about that too much in-depth, because I wouldn't want to spoil some of the methodical puzzle-piece gathering Belz and his trusty assistant engage in (and you can glean some of the plot elements from the Editorial Reviews above, anyway). What I will say is that element of the book was one of the things I liked about it the most - pieces of the puzzle were unearthed, examined, and slowly put together, often with Belzer's character bluffing or smooth-talking his way into and out of situations, and leaning on contacts among the police he has made from being on police-procedural shows.

I'm giving this book 5 stars not because it's great literature, or even because it's a great detective novel.
Read more ›
Comment 1 of 1 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover
The author Richard "BELZ" Belzer portrays the infamous TV Detective John Munch on "LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT" and "HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET". In addition "Belz has made TV history by portraying Detective Munch in TEN DIFFERENT television series, including "LAW & ORDER", "THE WIRE", and "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT". What makes this book such a unique read is the melding of reality and criminal fantasy. The story is told from the point of view of real-life star Belzer. He uses his real name... his real job... his real wife and home... but involves himself in a fictional crime mystery. "Belz", as he likes to be called, has dinner with his old friend, Russian immigrant, and soon-to-be former medical examiner, Rudy Markovich. Rudy just isn't his normal self at dinner, and leaves hints as to a problem he won't fully discuss, as they make plans to meet at Madison Square Garden the following night to see Alexi Zotkin a mutual friend, who happens to be defending his Heavyweight Boxing Championship. After dinner as Belz and Rudy leave the restaurant, Rudy is attacked by two Russian/Ukrainian types, and Belz comes to his rescue, dazzling the reader with his otherworldly martial arts skills. These skills become one of a number of ongoing themes in the story, as Belz spends a lot of time at his friendly "dojo", where the proprietor's are like family, and offer sage advice as well as martial art training.

When Belz gets to work the next day it turns out that the "New York Inquirer" a local gossip rag, has his picture in the paper from the little "dust-up" he had with the thugs that attacked Rudy. The reader is then introduced to one of Belzer's main foils in the story; assistant producer, Vernon Franker.
Read more ›
Comment 5 of 7 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse

Most Recent Customer Reviews