Am I the One?: Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying (Truthquest) [Paperback]

James R. Lucas (Author), J. R. Lucas (Author), Steve Keels (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2003 | Series: Truthquest

People speak today of making it harder to get divorced. While saving troubled marriages is an admirable feat, as a prescription it is working from the terminal end of the relationship disease. James Lucas takes a very different approach to this crucial life decision. Instead of beginning with questions of dating, courtship, compatibility and relationship “tools,” Lucas starts with you. Who are you becoming? Are you taking the steps to become a person worth marrying? In order to find the right person, you have to first be the right person. Then, and only then, can you make clear decisions about the rest of your life.

Product Details

• Paperback: 204 pages
• Publisher: B&H Books (January 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 080542573X
• ISBN-13: 978-0805425734
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 6.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #933,170 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. James R. Lucas

James R. Lucas, Ph.D., P.E., is a recognized authority on leadership and cultural design. He is a groundbreaking author and thought leader, provocative speaker, and experienced consultant on these crucial topics.

Jim is President and CEO of Luman International, an organization which he founded in 1983. This firm is dedicated to developing passionate, thinking, Pure-Performance Organizations™ and their leaders, people, and teams.

Clients are from sectors as diverse as health care, pharmaceuticals, medical devices, financial services, accounting, energy, chemicals, forest and paper products, transportation, computer hardware, diversified manufacturing, consumer products, diversified business services, construction, state government, and federal government. They range from Fortune 1000 public companies and private for-profit organizations to not-for-profits and government agencies.

Jim has written numerous curricula for business and leadership seminars, as well as many essays and articles. He is the author of six landmark books on leadership and organizational development:

Passionate Lives & Leaders: Real Leaders Tell How Passion Leads to Performance

High-Performance Ethics:10 Timeless Principles for Next Generation Leadership

Broaden the Vision and Narrow the Focus: Managing in a World of Paradox

The Passionate Organization: Igniting the Fire of Employee Commitment

Balance of Power: Fueling Employee Power without Relinquishing Your Own

Fatal Illusions: Shredding a Dozen Unrealities That Can Keep Your Organization from Success

Prior to founding Luman International, Jim was President of EMCI, a high-tech design and manufacturer of aerospace systems and medical devices. Before that, he held managerial and executive positions at Hallmark Cards, VF Corporation, and Black & Veatch Consulting Engineers.

Jim is an award-winning senior faculty member of the American Management Association, where he served for several years as a charter member of the Faculty Advisory Council. He taught its premier course, The Course for Presidents (in which he was and is the highest-rated faculty member), and is the overall highest-rated faculty member in the history of the AMA. He is also a frequent presenter at the Center for Leadership & Executive Development. Jim has an extensive speaking schedule, in which he addresses topics from his books and research, and has been interviewed frequently on radio and television.

Jim received his education in leadership, business, economics, and engineering at the University of Missouri (Columbia and Rolla), where he received his Ph.D. (h.c.). He has also taught at Rockhurst University. Jim is past president of the Academy of Engineering Management, a member of the American Society for Training and Development, a member of the American Society of Engineering Management, a senior member of the Society of Manufacturing Engineers, and a registered professional engineer in Missouri and Kansas.

Jim has been honored with continuous listings in Who's Who in America (1999-2009), Who's Who in the World (1989-2008), and Who's Who in Finance & Industry (1989-2009).

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars great, April 2, 2003

By 

A Customer - See all my reviews

This review is from: Am I the One?: Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying (Truthquest) (Paperback)

This book was completely refreshing, true there are some general concepts that he talks about that's talked in other books. That's to be expected in any dating/courting book, but this one is different. Instead of focusing on the hunt for "the one," we should be focusing on God, our lives, and becoming the right people in order to marry the right person.

The author avoids formulas, cliches, and legalistic rules. He puts things in a new perspective and brings different views to old ideas. He doesn't try to sugar coat anything and he tells it like it is.

There are four parts and here's what it covers:

Part 1: Building a Solid Foundation for Relationships

Chapter 1: "All I wanna do is have some fun"
Chapter 2: Becoming a person worth knowing and marrying
Chapter 3: Recognizing a person worth knowing and marrying
Chapter 4*: Kissing Dumb Dating Goodbye

*in chapter 4, the author talks about the difference between smart dating and dumb dating. And that there's nothing wrong with dating a great and decent person.

Part 2: Facing the Sobering Realities about relationships and Marriage

Chapter 5: Before you tie the knot, make sure the rope isn't around your neck
Chapter 6: 12 lousy reason for getting married
Chapter 7: 12 problem people to avoid

Part 3: Recognizing the right match for a good marriage

Chapter 8: The best reasons for getting married
Chapter 9: 12 things to be sure of before you get married
Chapter 10: 10 ways to know you've found "The One."

Part 4: Life right now

Chapter 11: Celebrating singleness
Chapter 12: Dealing with sex

I found this book to be quite refreshing from other books on dating/courting. Instead of trying to convince you that courting is more holy, or that dating is dirty, he takes a different approach on dating, friendship, and romance. He doesn't try to talk anyone down and its appropriate for teens and even people in their 20s.

I've read a lot of dating/courting books everything from I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, Choosing God's Best, When God Writes Your Love Story, Passion & Purity, etc.

This book and WGWYLS(When God Writes Your Love Story) have got to be the best books around on dating, in my opinion anyway. I'd definately recommend it.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Superb Relationship Book Aimed At High Schoolers, January 19, 2003

By 

mjanke - See all my reviews

This review is from: Am I the One?: Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying (Truthquest) (Paperback)

AM I THE ONE is, for youth and young adults, the best book on relationships that I have ever read. Period.

James Lucas avoids all of the typical pitfalls that so many dating book authors fall into. He doesn't give you a list of don'ts - don't date (the trendy rule), don't kiss, don't do this, don't do that, and everything will be okay. Because, as I think we all know deep down, the outward rules are meaningless if the inside isn't in the proper order. One can not date a single person and still end up in a bad marriage. So Lucas turns the focus inward. He sets solid principles - not absolute rules - which help you ask the right questions of yourself. Principles like the ones he focuses on work best because each person's situation in life is different and the applications are not always going to be the same.

Much like Eric and Leslie Ludy's idea of "giving God the pen in your life," from WHEN GOD WRITES YOUR LOVE STORY, Lucas succeeds famously because he realizes that holiness and, ultimately, life success is based not upon legalistic rules but freedom that is found in Christ when our hearts and priorities are focused upon Him. Thus, AM I THE ONE, is a must-read for anyone who is really serious about finding themselves not only married to the right person but also having that marriage be a lasting and fulfilling one. The Ludy's book and BOUNDARIES IN DATING are both solid, but if you're a young person AM I THE ONE should be at the top of your reading list. FIVE STARS

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best book I have read so far about relationships, April 18, 2003

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Am I the One?: Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying (Truthquest) (Paperback)

"Am I the one?" is the best book I read so far about dating and relationships. Most of the books I have read in the past were somewhat skewed towards female readers, but I can say, I was very satisfied. After all, who wants to settle for a mediocre marriage? I have passed the book on to friends and I have been receiving raving reviews. The Biblical references were both profound and refreshing.