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An Affair of the Mind Paperback – 1996


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 268 pages
  • Publisher: Focus on the Family Publishing; First Edition edition (1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1561794643
  • ISBN-13: 978-1561794645
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (93 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #149,465 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Mixing personal testimony with systematic critique is a staple of hortative religious literature, and Hall's book is a superior example of the type. She has spent years struggling with her husband's addiction to pornography, and for those who doubt that sexual obsessions can have effects like those of substance abuse on individual behavior and interpersonal relations, she lays out the dismayingly credible particulars of her troubled marriage in evidence. First deepening her Christian faith (abandoning herself to Christ, she says), she made prayer, reading the Bible, and learning about sexual addiction and the psychological dynamics of pornography and how to address them the everyday tactics in her battle to preserve her marriage and protect her children. Trusting the Lord and practicing Christian forgiveness (a quality she tellingly dissects) have been the foundations of her overall strategy. She urges women in similar circumstances to follow her--or, rather, Christ's--lead. Meanwhile, she makes a case against pornography that, although rooted in Christian teaching about sexuality, even nonbelievers may find intuitively compelling. Ray Olson

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Customer Reviews

I was unable to put this book down from the moment I started reading it.
Jodie
Her journey to a closer relationship with Jesus rings true with my own experience.
Bonnie
This book explores the difficulty of marriage to a man with a sexual addiction.
Chuck

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

134 of 143 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 14, 2002
Format: Paperback
I read the review from the person who thought there were no practical guidelines in this book for dealing with the addict. I understand that feeling, and the pain of that hopelessness. But there is a wealth of information in the pages of this book, and a clear blueprint of the process of surviving the impact of porno in your own life. I think I had to read it three times before I accepted what Ms. Hall was saying: This is a battle for the soul of the guy you married - not a fight against *him*, but against the *evil* that's gotten its tentacles into him. And the battle is terrifying, because you have to willingly go into a freefall of faith in God. You have to seperate yourself from the evil, set your parameters, and let The Father go to work. And in my own situation, it *worked*. My marriage was completely dead, my family was destroyed, and we were all the way to divorce court before the evil broke. The journey was wonderful and horrible, exhausting and exhilerating; but, in learning how to truly love - and fight for - my family, God revealed His power in ways that even I, witnessing the events as they unfolded, have trouble comprehending. Miracle after miracle arrived, while I stood by obediently and watched, as the power of loving someone until I ached from the agony resulted in a man who has been broken, cleaned out, and made whole. We are together now, my family is reunited and, for the first time, genuine. There are echoes of the past, and though we are vigilant against evil, it's still tough at times. But so far, so good. So miraculous, actually. Don't discard the wisdom in this book until you've read it a few times, because her advice can feel brutal. But she also gives the recipe for *truly* loving your husband, and saving yourself and your children at the same time.Read more ›
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49 of 50 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 21, 1999
Format: Paperback
I find that there are few books that impact my life so much as those written by broken people about brokenness. Laurie Hall has written such a book; I found it so encouraging to identify with the emotions and experiences she describes. She is open. She is heartrendingly honest. She holds no punches. For the second time in my life, I cried over a book. An Affair of the Mind reminded me that sexual addiction is a serious, dangerous path for men (and women) to walk. It reminded me that it cannot be ignored, or forgotten, or made light of; addiction must be dealt with, because it is a destroyer of hearts and lives. That includes Laurie's life. Her husband's life. Their childrens' lives. MY life...and so on. Anyone affected by this addiction should read this book. I encourage wives to read it, because they will find encouragement; I encourage husbands to read it because they may begin to see what their addiction has cost their marriage, their family, their entire life. Did I mention you should read this book?
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38 of 39 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 1, 2002
Format: Paperback
From the extraodinary comments from other reviewers of this book, its easy to see the value of Laurie Hall's words. Unless you have walked through the devastation of this kind of long-term infidelity in your marriage, you won't get it. If you enjoy pornography as a part of your own life, you won't get it.
For those who do get it, this book is a lifeline. Her words are dynamic, vivid descriptions of the emotional wreckage left from discovering sexual addiction's stranglehold on men and the erosion of the marriage relationship. Laurie tracks her emotional and spiritual journey through this hell with stunning honesty. In the midst of my own walk through hell last year, she described EXACTLY where I was in my pain. Other women I know who are going through the same situation say the same thing. We read and re-read her words, and find sanity.
The best part in this book is the author's struggle in finding a place in God through the pain. He IS the way through this, and by following in another's footsteps, we can do it, too. She lights the path that would be hard to follow in darkness, and ultimately finds her Redeemer as her hope. I pray that others reading this book will find the same.
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70 of 76 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 5, 1997
Format: Paperback
This book is extremely helpful to both women,
and men (who need to know the dangers down this road before traveling too far on it). I have recommended it to my wife (she too, has found help here) - and I will also ask my teen-aged daughters to read it. I think each young man should read this book around the time he first starts recognizing the incredible power of sexual urges in his life (I hope they are mature enough to handle it).
The author (my heart goes out to her), effectively communicates the problems with the "surface suggestions" that are offered to wives who are effected by their "hooked husbands", and she tells how she has been able to keep her own dignity while helping her husband on his journey out of this quagmire. I have found help for myself in reading this book , ( I have had problems with soft-core porn). This book has helped me understand how this material has negatively impacted my ability to enjoy the optimum relationship with my wife -- that of a REAL PERSON to PERSON RELATIONSHIP - as opposed to the situation where I receive sexual feelings outside of an environment of real interactions with the real person who is giving of herself to interact with me in myriad ways including sex). This book helps me understand the terrible price paid , when I succumb to unbridled lust : the effects this has on my wife and also on myself : not the least of which is how our relationship is hindered from being the best it can be for each of us
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