Even the strongest among us can get stuck in the grief process, unable to heal and move forward. Now Rabbi Mel Glazer — a highly regarded and experienced grief-recovery counselor — gives comforting form to a crucial insight: That the messages of the Old Testament are a source of hope for even the most grieving among us. Drawing directly from the key books of the Old Testament, Glazer marshals, in a completely nondenominational way, their most profound, age-old themes to the very hard work of moving through and beyond grief — and into a life of hope and fulfillment. Among the themes and early Biblical stories Glazer uses as his jumping-off point to explore the process of grief recovery are: Bargaining (from Jonah), shock and anger (from Leviticus), fear (from Exodus), wandering (from Numbers), faith and strength (from Job), foregiveness (from Genesis), joy (from Proverbs), growth (from Psalms), legacy (from Deuteronomy), creating a new family (from Ruth), grief without death (from Song of Songs), and tragedy (from Lamentations).
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
After my father died last summer, I think I handled my grief
fairly well . . . yet that said, I just finished Rabbi Glazer's
excellent book on the topic, AND GREATED HOPE and must admit that it gave me additional insight into the subject that I wished I had obtained previously.
Rabbi Glazer helped me understand the process better . . . in
particular, he did so by bringing in lessons from the Bible that
helped drive many of his key points home . . . I further liked
how he used examples form his own life--many of which
I could relate to myself.
Please don't be put off by the fact that the author of this
book is a rabbi . . . his message is nondenominational and
can be applied to many situations, aside from the loss
of a loved one . . . for example, he also discusses loss with respect
to relationships and friends.
There were many valuable tidbits of information I gained from
reading AND GOD CREATED HOPE . . . among them:
* In January 1986 the Challenger space shuttle blew apart shortly after
liftoff, killing all of the astronauts on board. After an exhaustive
investigation of the accident, it was determined that after the explosion
the astronauts were alive for five more minutes. Kenny wondered
what they had been thinking about during those last minutes when
they all knew they were going to die. He wrote a sermon about
this and delivered it from the pulpit to his congregation on Yom
Kippur in the fall of 1988. Rabbi Berger said in his sermon that
people who know their death is imminent probably have three thoughts
in common during their final moments, and each of the three begins
with the phrase "if only."
If only I had know when I said my last good-bye to the people I love
that it was my last good-bye.
If only I realized what I had while I had it.
If only I had another chance, then I would do it better.
* Your life may be short or long. Either way, when you die, by definition
you will have accomplished your mission. When children die after long
illnesses, we often hear their parents say that those children taught
them love and compassion. Apparently, that was their mission. Once it
was accomplished, they left. If you look at the entertainment business,
the people who live the longest are comedians. Maybe their mission is to
bring as much insight, joy, and laughter to people for as many years as
possible, for as many years as their bodies can hold up.
* In the same way a cast protects a broken leg, you can protect your
broken heart while it heals. When you think about it, we're always
grieving something or someone to one degree or another. We heal
from one loss while we're still working on healing from another. We
experience new losses before we've fully recovered from the old
ones. If we're not in denial and are honest with ourselves, we probably
spend more time mourning our disappointments and the loss
of our illusions than anything, or anyone, else. It's best to take the
time to properly note and mourn them. If we do not, we risk becoming
angry, bitter, resentful, and pessimistic, and wallowing in self-pity far
more often than it's ever healthy for anyone to wallow.
* How can we forgive ourselves, and others, when we believe we're faced
with the unforgivable? When asked how anyone could forgive something
as horrendous as the Holocaust, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach famously said,
"If I had two hearts, I would dedicate one of them full-time to hating the
Germans. But I only have one heart, and I am not going to waste it on
such nonsense as hate.
This is a MUST READ book for anybody who has gone through the
grieving process in the past--or is doing so now . . . in fact, he
has personally told me that people will even find it helpful if they've
"lost" somebody who is still technically alive--but not mentally.
fairly well . . . yet that said, I just finished Rabbi Glazer's
excellent book on the topic, AND GREATED HOPE and must admit that it gave me additional insight into the subject that I wished I had obtained previously.
Rabbi Glazer helped me understand the process better . . . in
particular, he did so by bringing in lessons from the Bible that
helped drive many of his key points home . . . I further liked
how he used examples form his own life--many of which
I could relate to myself.
Please don't be put off by the fact that the author of this
book is a rabbi . . . his message is nondenominational and
can be applied to many situations, aside from the loss
of a loved one . . . for example, he also discusses loss with respect
to relationships and friends.
There were many valuable tidbits of information I gained from
reading AND GOD CREATED HOPE . . . among them:
* In January 1986 the Challenger space shuttle blew apart shortly after
liftoff, killing all of the astronauts on board. After an exhaustive
investigation of the accident, it was determined that after the explosion
the astronauts were alive for five more minutes. Kenny wondered
what they had been thinking about during those last minutes when
they all knew they were going to die. He wrote a sermon about
this and delivered it from the pulpit to his congregation on Yom
Kippur in the fall of 1988. Rabbi Berger said in his sermon that
people who know their death is imminent probably have three thoughts
in common during their final moments, and each of the three begins
with the phrase "if only."
If only I had know when I said my last good-bye to the people I love
that it was my last good-bye.
If only I realized what I had while I had it.
If only I had another chance, then I would do it better.
* Your life may be short or long. Either way, when you die, by definition
you will have accomplished your mission. When children die after long
illnesses, we often hear their parents say that those children taught
them love and compassion. Apparently, that was their mission. Once it
was accomplished, they left. If you look at the entertainment business,
the people who live the longest are comedians. Maybe their mission is to
bring as much insight, joy, and laughter to people for as many years as
possible, for as many years as their bodies can hold up.
* In the same way a cast protects a broken leg, you can protect your
broken heart while it heals. When you think about it, we're always
grieving something or someone to one degree or another. We heal
from one loss while we're still working on healing from another. We
experience new losses before we've fully recovered from the old
ones. If we're not in denial and are honest with ourselves, we probably
spend more time mourning our disappointments and the loss
of our illusions than anything, or anyone, else. It's best to take the
time to properly note and mourn them. If we do not, we risk becoming
angry, bitter, resentful, and pessimistic, and wallowing in self-pity far
more often than it's ever healthy for anyone to wallow.
* How can we forgive ourselves, and others, when we believe we're faced
with the unforgivable? When asked how anyone could forgive something
as horrendous as the Holocaust, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach famously said,
"If I had two hearts, I would dedicate one of them full-time to hating the
Germans. But I only have one heart, and I am not going to waste it on
such nonsense as hate.
This is a MUST READ book for anybody who has gone through the
grieving process in the past--or is doing so now . . . in fact, he
has personally told me that people will even find it helpful if they've
"lost" somebody who is still technically alive--but not mentally.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Mel Glazer brings together his knowledge of the grieving process with rabbi's understanding of Biblical text. The result is a refreshing view of how we confront loss. It happens all too often but many people ignore the need to work through all the emotions. Rabbi Glazer brings the important message: Hang in there; you feel bad now, but you can move toward a new fulfillment in life.
I recommend this book for clergy, counselors, and people who are having trouble getting through tough times.
I recommend this book for clergy, counselors, and people who are having trouble getting through tough times.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I read some passages from this book in a friend's newsletter and I knew right away I wanted more! The stories from the Bible were appropriate and appealing to me and I immediately felt a warm understanding and peace flowing from it. I am the kind of person who never really gets over a loss and I also grieve ahead of time for events that haven't actually happened, except in my mind. When this begins to happen I pick up the book and start reading "Grief without Death" and "Wandering and Healing".
I never knew what to say to someone else who is grieving; favorite line in this book has to do with giving your verbal sympathy and then shutting up! What a relief that was to me that I didn't have to offer any of the usual lame comments that usually follow for lack of meaningful things to say.
Last but not least, this Rabbi said he now understands loss of pets that are as dear to people as their loved ones; he now officiates pet funerals! This book has helped me overcome my FEAR of grieving because I now know how to do it and can help myself and others. Thank you Rabbi Glazer.
I never knew what to say to someone else who is grieving; favorite line in this book has to do with giving your verbal sympathy and then shutting up! What a relief that was to me that I didn't have to offer any of the usual lame comments that usually follow for lack of meaningful things to say.
Last but not least, this Rabbi said he now understands loss of pets that are as dear to people as their loved ones; he now officiates pet funerals! This book has helped me overcome my FEAR of grieving because I now know how to do it and can help myself and others. Thank you Rabbi Glazer.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Excellent book
Excellent book which addresses much more than grieving a loved one. The wisdom and advice can be applied to many life losses-big and small. An excellent read.
Published 18 months ago by Lunar
A keeper
I really enjoyed this book. I gained some very practical insights and tools to think differently about some losses I have personally dealt with and was encouraged by this book. Read more
Published on March 4, 2009 by Nancy K
Inside This Book
(learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs):
(learn more)
grief recovery process, leaving style, created hope, relationship breakup Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Hevra Kadisha, Golden Calf, Promised Land, New York, New Orleans, Old Testament, Jonathan Schwartz, Garden of Eden, Grief Recovery Institute, King Solomon, World Trade Center, God's Three Laws, Rabbi Kenny Berger New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
grief recovery process, leaving style, created hope, relationship breakup Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Hevra Kadisha, Golden Calf, Promised Land, New York, New Orleans, Old Testament, Jonathan Schwartz, Garden of Eden, Grief Recovery Institute, King Solomon, World Trade Center, God's Three Laws, Rabbi Kenny Berger New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 10
books:
See all 10 books this book cites
- Head First: The Biology of Hope (Thorndike Press Large Print Americana Series) by Norman Cousins on page 225
- Illness & the Art of Creative Self-Expression by John Graham-Pole on page 225
- Love, Medicine and Miracles: Lessons Learned about Self-Healing from a Surgeon's Experience with Exceptional Patients by Bernie S. Siegel in Front Matter
- Healing Heart by Norman Cousins on page 225
- Talking With Children About Loss by Maria Trozzi in Back Matter
See all 10 books this book cites
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