Customer Reviews

Andrew You Died Too Soon

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The Chilstrom's son, Andy died by suicide in 1984 at 18. This book blows away some myths about suicide and tells a very personal and revealing story of the author's family learning (by experience) more about suicide and grief.

Her experience and writing can help many who must deal with similar facts--or friends of such a family--especially people of faith. Not only for suicide survivors, though, consider reading this book if you have adopted children.

For me it was a good read--I knew Andy Chilstrom as an aquaintence when we were both teenagers--because I now better understand his struggles. You will, after reading, seek out your own children for a long tender hug and kiss.

The author's husband was the presiding bishop of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America from '87 until a few years ago. He was a bishop of a Minnesota Lutheran synod during the book's events--so in many ways, they were public people and had to deal with the baggage that accompanies that fact.

In the three years since my 24-year old brother committed suicide, I've bought and read several books about surviving the suicide of a loved one. Unfortunately, this one is not my favorite. I did relate to many parts of the authors' experience and feelings about the loss of their son. But I was turned off by the strong religious overtones of much of their writing. Although I do have a strong belief in God, I didn't personally find their numerous references to God and prayer helpful in dealing with my feelings. I found other books, such as Carla Fine's "No Time To Say Goodbye" more helpful in accepting and dealing with the feelings of guilt, shame and anger I've felt since my brother's death.

I found comfort in this book but, being Christian was not offended by the MANY referrals to scriputures and psalms quoted in the book. I don't know if survivors of other faiths would share in this or be uncomfortable about the multiple references to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.I could also see anyone who is really ANGRY at God right now for the suicide of their loved one being irrate at the references but, may find it helpful later on in their grieving process.I cannot say I would reccomend this book for all.

In response to the last review stating that this is a book with strong religious overtones; more accurately, it's a religious book--published by a church book publisher and authored by a Lutheran Pastor. A religious book is what should be expected.

I found this book at a Christian bookstore and I benefited so much from reading it that I've ordered additional copies for family members through Amazon. It's written as an on going story; one that the foggy grieving mind can follow. After I lost a family member to suicide I had so many questions for God. This book was written by someone highly educated in God's word, and she is also very down to earth. She's suffered the suicide of her son, an adopted child with extra struggles in life due to a lack of identity. The author digs deep into her soul and shares feelings that some of us dare to say out loud! My copy is now ragged and tear stained, but one I'll always treasure. It got me through the murk, and helped me to move on.

Andrew is a young man in his early 20's who has fought depression for years. This is the story of his death by suicide and his mom & dad's struggles afterwards. Thankfully this is an issue that I have NOT had to face; as a parish nurse, I have known too many families who have. One such mom, seeing the book in my car nearly 20 years after her son's suicide asked about it. I gave it to her requesting that she let me know what she thought about it in light of hers and her family's experience. She wrote soon after "I wish I had had this book twenty years ago." She kept it to share whenever she met those who needed its' help and comfort, too. Her short reflections say so much more than mine ever could.

This is a very helpful book for people who have lost a son particularly when it was by suicide. I felt that if people of such strong faith (a Bishop and a ordained pastor) had the same feelings as I, I guess I was not "out in left field". We were given this book when we lost our son so have given it to other friends in similiar circumstances.

This is a classic story which gives knowledge and support at a time when we feel so alone and confused. My copy was given to me by someone who herself needed the knowledge and who now buys copies to give as needed. I am doing the same. If I have it in hand, I can share it immediately - no waiting. An amazing writer.