Customer Reviews

Andromeda Klein

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I read Frank Portman's first book, King Dork, and while it showed a lot of promise, I didn't love it. After just finishing Andromeda Klein, I'm happy to report that it's a simply stellar offering. The characters ring entertainingly and hilariously true, which was one of my major complaints about King Dork. The best advice I can give is to not get too bogged down in all of the references to the occult. It isn't necessary to Google what every foreign term means to really enjoy Andromeda and her story. Follow that suggestion and you'll be bummed you have to wait so long for Portman's next book -- just like me.

I found this on the New Books shelf at my library on Friday, and after checking to see what sort of book it was I decided to grab it before anyone else could get it and read it immediately. I finished on Saturday and WOW! I love it. It's long, but it's totally worth it.

The book as a whole is sweetly awkward, quirky, and fun-in-a-slightly-dark way (like a clown crying while telling jokes, for example). Some parts remind me a lot of my own high school (and middle school) experiences, which is probably why I identified with Andromeda so much-- she could be an alternate me, and Daisy could be an alternate version of my best friend from that time. It was a little bit spooky, but mostly it was very cool.

I really liked Andromeda (not just because she's an alternate me). Even when she's acting crazy and ridiculous, mostly regarding boys and how she lets people treat her (read: like a doormat), I was interested in her life and what she was going to do next. I loved how she treated books like sacred things, and how she wanted to save the best books from being discarded from the library where she works. I also was really interested in how she preferred the more traditional sorts of occultism and shunned the more New Age, fluffier magic; it was very refreshing since so many new books seem to have only the Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer-Wicca-magic-thing and I hate that. It's nice to see a character actually do something different from that for once, and as a bonus Andromeda doesn't even call herself a witch (she's an "occultist") nor does she cut herself and recite depressing poems to the moon (um, for example).

Andromeda is refreshing in a non-occult way as well. Many times did I giggle when she misheard someone: "vacuum" for "bathroom," "Sylvester Mouse" for "some extra hours," and so on. And I liked how she'd say that the person meant to say "pagan" but said "bacon" instead, like it was their fault and not her hearing. She's quirky and funny while not being over the top and, yeah, I really liked her. The other characters were sort of negligible, and I still don't have any idea what the heck is up with her parents and I have no idea how Andromeda managed to stay with them for so long when they're NUTS. Some of the secondary characters are better than others, but the book is really about Andromeda and so I tended only to care about them in relation to her life.

The book itself does move sort of slow, I suppose, but I didn't mind as I was too busy being proud that Andromeda knew so much about the occult when she was so young, enough to rattle off names and dates and numbers and so on when I can't even remember what I ate for lunch last Monday. It was much like watching my kid brother in a quiz bowl beating out the competition because he knew who the 15th President of the US was, or something. And since I was interested in the occult as a kid I actually recognized and understood most of it (though I never managed to make it through any of the actual books Andromeda talks about. Too boring for a 12 year old.) but I don't think you need to be an occultist yourself to get it. Pretty much everything is explained, so I'm sure no one would be left behind or get frustrated, and then, instead of focusing on the little stuff (like Hebrew letters) you can focus on the plot and how it ends up working out so satisfyingly! I love satisfying endings.

The events in Andromeda Klein can be interpreted in two ways: either she really is doing magic or she's projecting things out of her psyche in some Freudian, psychological way that I don't care to learn about because it's boring (no offense to psychologists). I choose to go with she really was doing magic and she wasn't projecting, though I admit it's a little interesting to consider it the other way-- it gives the book a whole different feeling, as well. But, yeah, I like the urban-bordering-on-fantasy way best. It's more fun.

I couldn't help but think of Zilpha Keatley Snyder's The Headless Cupid, one of my favorite books, and it does very much feel like that book but set in a different time/place/situation. It was sort of comforting, too, I suppose because I love The Headless Cupid so much. (It also reminded me of Sarah Dessen's Keeping the Moon, another favorite book of mine. Not that Keeping the Moon has any magic in it; it's the characters and how they act/talk that triggered the reminding.)

If you haven't got your own copy already, get one NOW. It's worth it.

Andromeda Klein is Frank Portman's new novel about an idiosyncratic occult-obsessed teenage girl and her weird little world.

Andromeda-the-girl is authentic and relatable: she has body image issues, bad hair, boy problems, annoying parents, smudge-proof eyeliner that smudges, familiarly inept high school teachers, an aching self-awareness, and a sarcastic inner voice. However, if this were the extent of Andromeda, this would be a pretty run-of-the-mill cookie cutter sort of YA novel. Instead, Portman researches the heck out of occultism and provides us with the fruit of his labors: a unique journey through the life of a flat chested, no-assed, unfortunately coiffed, partially deaf, awkward teenage girl with a persistently active dead friend, a missing "boyfriend," and an impressive knowledge of classic occultism.

Andromeda-the-occultist may be a little more alien to most people. She sees the Universe as full of sycnhes, messages, and demonic meddlings. As a teenage occultist, Andromeda's biggest defining characteristic is her obsession with magic(k). Unlike most books about teenage witches, Portman has taken the effort to make the material as authentic as possible. However, because Portman assumes correctly that the majority of his readers may not be equipped with the same obsession as Andromeda, he has no choice but to provide us with cursory lessons on the history of occultism. Some readers may find the beginning of the book to be a bit on the dense side, but once the fundamentals are established, the book becomes a little lighter (if just as weird and captivating). Basically, don't be discouraged! If the history of Tarot isn't your thing, you can skim those sections and fall in love with Andromeda just the same. If it is your thing, this is your lucky day! If it isn't your thing--but you're open to it--behold your latest obsession. Also, don't worry if you forget the significance of the various occult figures as they are all in the glossary.

Lastly, anyone who is familiar with Portman--whether through his band, The Mr. T Experience, or through his debut novel, King Dork--should know that Portman is the type of guy that likes to play with words. Andromeda Klein does not disappoint. She delivers on word-play, and how! Being partially deaf, Andromeda mishears most of what is said to her. Sometimes her mistakes are hilarious and charming, and the most charming Andromeda words thereby become permanent parts of her vocabulary and are then used throughout the novel. But if you find yourself forgetting the definitions to Andromeda-lexicon, they are all listed in the glossary for easy reference.

I loved "King Dork" so of course I picked up this book. After fifty pages I couldn't get into it, so I came back to Amazon to read all the glowing reviews. Inspired, I tried again, I really tried, but one hundred and fifty pages later I still found myself unable to get into the story. I didn't like Andromeda, I didn't care about the mini mysteries like St. Steve, and I didn't find Andromeda's faulty interpretations of others' words funny. And above all else, I very quickly tired of reading about all the tarot cards, magic, etc.

I'll give Mr. Portman's next book a try because "King Dork" was so good, but this one is not for me. Two stars in deference to the other reviews and to my inability to finish the book.

This review is intended for those who have read King Dork, Portman's brilliant first novel, and are considering Andromeda Klein.
Andromeda Klein is definitely a different book than King Dork (impressively so), and while it has a literary theme (to some degree) it doesn't match King Dork's marvelous theme of interpersonal-revelation-through-literature. Both a pro and a con of Andromeda is that it deals with topics and books I know next to nothing about -- tarot and the occult -- in rather exacting detail. That is to say, there are many opportunities for both befuddlement and education.

But, the other themes regarding mental processes and the various methods of "divination" are delightfully subtle and unexpected. Perhaps even too subtle -- some of the more pathological/disturbing aspects never get formally addressed. Portman's choice to go that route is incredibly bold, so much so that I spent the latter half of the novel waiting for a devastating revelation that never happened. Frankly and inexplicably, the suspense thereof and it's lack of denouement are really satisfying.

Also, weirdly, all of the men to whom I recommended King Dork LOVED it and all the women just liked it -- and there was some consensus that it was a "boy book." I'd not say that, but I'm not a woman -- then again, i like many "chick flicks" so I don't think I'm strictly gender normative. Anyway, I think Portman conjures a convincing and original experience of high school from a young woman's perspective. The female characters are really colorful, but believably so. And it's crazy-witty, with those contemporary references to cell phones and such that convince you an (approaching-)literary novel CAN mention "the internet" without seeming disingenuous. I'm now engaged in trying to push Andromeda on all the King-Dork naysayers. :) Although, whereas King Dork I'd recommend to anyone who has had to read Catcher in the Rye, I don't think I'll recommend the otherwise-recommendable Andromeda very often -- it's quality but not quite the touchstone that King Dork has proven itself to be.

Andromeda Klein's physical problems are nothing compared to what is going on with her psyche. According to Andromeda's mom, she was born with osteogenesis imperfecta, and that is why her bones are brittle and she has severe hearing problems. She also despises her slight, boyish figure and the taunts that go with it.

In more urgent matters, her partner in the occult, "Twice Holy Soror" Daisy Wasserstrom, succumbed to her leukemia, dying when Andromeda was off on vacation with her difficult mother and her father (whose prescription meds don't always keep his paranoia at bay). To add insult to sorrow, her love interest, dubbed St. Steve (when she misheard him say he was "sensitive"), has evidently abandoned her. Andromeda's life now centers on her spiritual life --- her frequent tarot card readings, the spells she casts alone, her studies of occult literature, her significant dreams, and her reverence for occult master A.E. Waite.

Andromeda is lonely in spite of her higher plane activities. Daisy's mother has banned her from their house and their family. She has also purged their house of most of Daisy's belongings, but Andromeda plies Daisy's younger brother with girlie magazines for any Daisy gleanings he can find. Andromeda has a strong feeling that Daisy is trying to connect with her from the other side. She frequently catches Daisy's scent and discovers tremendous magical coincidences (or "synchs") that seem to indicate Daisy is nearby and attempting to communicate.

Andromeda also has her off-the-wall friend Rosalie van Genuchten, who throws drug-and-alcohol saturated "Afternoon Teas." Rosalie is given to unusual creative solutions to problems, such as driving her car all over town in reverse when there's a mechanical problem keeping it from moving forward. Rosalie's bizarre matchmaking practices regarding Andromeda bring to mind the saying "with friends like these, who needs enemies?" So when Rosalie tricks Andromeda into meeting up with the very short Byron, with his weird wisp of a beard (and his reputed male tramp stamp), Andromeda dismisses him nearly on sight, despite his eager hopefulness to learn more about "Magick" from Andromeda (who hates the word "Magick" and strongly prefers "occult"). Byron piques her interest very slightly, though, when she discovers he is interested in a type of rock music that synchs with Andromeda's spiritual beliefs.

Meanwhile, Andromeda frequently checks her cell phone(s), hoping for messages from St. Steve while dodging constant badgering messages from her mother. Just as she is giving up hope, she begins to hear from him again, but in such a cryptic manner that she is bewildered. While puzzling over St. Steve, attempting to contact Daisy and dreaming about the mysterious "King of Sacramento," Andromeda also must battle an unforeseen enemy: the Friends of the Library, who appear to be out to destroy her literary spiritual enlightenment at the branch in which Andromeda works part-time.

ANDROMEDA KLEIN is a totally new direction from author Frank Portman's previous novel KING DORK. This latest book is dense with obscure, sometimes complex, occult references, which may boggle those who are not knowledgeable about the history and theory of the occult. However, once patient readers have persevered, they are likely to become engrossed in Andromeda's story, which --- much like that of the KING DORK protagonist --- makes for a lively, hilarious, realistic and quirky read.

--- Reviewed by Terry Miller Shannon

First off, I am 36 years old and I loved "King Dork" with a passion. I give copies to my high school students to read and have never heard a negative reaction. I was really anticipating the release of "Andromeda Klein."

When I leapt in and started reading, my initial thought was confusion. The first couple of pages are all about tarot and this isn't Mr. Portman's forte. He's great at writing dialogue and witty observations. Once he got into the meat of the story, I was hooked. Andromeda is a great character who has at least as many doubts and worries as a typical teen. I really liked Andy's mis-hearings in the book, but I wish I had been aware of the glossary before I got to it at the end of the story.

Overall, this is a very worthwhile novel; it's just not initially what I expected. As the earlier reviewer said, if the tarot stuff is bogging you down, skip it. Thanks for another great read, Mr. Portman.

Andromeda Klein can likely be described as one of those weird chicks that you went to school with that you were either friends with, or you simply made fun of. To tell you the truth, even if you were friends with her you probably made fun of her as well. She's tall and skinny with no curves, and a non-existent bottom. Her hair never seems to do what she wants it to, and it tends to get worse throughout the day.

Despite all of Andromeda's problems with her appearance, her life as started to slowly go downhill. Her best friend and fellow occultist, Daisy, is dead. Her boyfriend has gone missing, and her if things could possibly get even worse, her mother has learned to text. It's safe to say that the only thing in Andromeda's life that she has left is her love of the occult, and her books, but even those seem to be disappearing!

When I first read the blurb to this novel, I just had to read it, not to mention I absolutely love that cover. I personally felt like this book dragged on a bit though, and at times I was wondering why it wasn't shorter than it truly is at 432 pages (410 according to the ARC I read). It started off quickly, and I soon learned that Andromeda would most definitely be one of those girls that I would end up hanging out with. I was always known to hang out with the strange people in school, because honestly, they were always more interesting.

I have to say, I never knew so much about the occult before this book. I'd almost have to say you'd need a little bit of a background on it to understand all the lingo, but I was able to figure it out. I have a knack for strange words, and their meanings, so I was excited to learn all of this new stuff. For someone who isn't into receiving a lesson while reading their fictional novels, and just wants the story, they had better skip this one, because honestly your going to learn something new. Frank Portman must have done a lot of research to be able to write an entire novel focused around the occult, and he did a very good job.

The middle of this novel was a little boring for me, but I pushed through and thankfully it got really good at the end. I don't want to give anything away, but if your planning on picking up a copy of Andromeda Klein, don't let that slow center turn you away, the real prize only awaits on the next page.

I've gotta echo some of the other reviews when I say that I really, really wanted to like this book. I started it once, got to about page 100, and abandoned it. I started over again about a month later, and managed to get to 124 before I realized what was killing me about it: SO little happens in the first 100 pages of the book.

Let me be positive for a second: Andromeda is a great character, very unique, very well written, very understandable. Her world is populated by believable characters and places. And her interactions with people ring true.

The issue I had is that SO few pages in this book are devoted to forward plot momentum, while so many have to do with her occult analysis and flashbacks to past events. It's sort of amazing in hindsight that this wasn't written in the first person, as we spend such a major portion of the book seeing into Andromeda's brain. To me, it makes the book move insanely slow - we want forward momentum, and Andromeda's character really comes to life when we see her actions and interactions, not read her mind. I hate to say it, but it's really filled to the brim with exposition.

The book ends up covering about 9 days, but the actual real-life events that happen in those days are incredibly minimal. And even events that occur in this time period are sometimes written about in the distant past - for example, a ritual that Andromeda performs on p. 363, which seems to be somewhat important (and risky!) and is even given a fair amount of build-up, is then described as if being remembered four or five hours later, instead of in the moment. Rather than experience it in the moment alongside Andromeda, it's treated as yet another flashback.

All of this wouldn't be so bad if the book weren't so complicated in terms of its occult authenticity. I really, really appreciate that Frank went out of his way to make a book that would have made a reader like his own Andromeda proud. However, I remember a suggestion I heard about writing, which was essentially "research, research, research, then throw away your research notebook and just write." Here, it feels like Frank is constantly referring to his research notes on a sentence by sentence basis (or is just an amazingly knowledgeable occult expert). Ultimately, it becomes near inaccessible, no matter how pedestrian he tries to make the concepts, and at best, you better hang on for the ride.

Unfortunately, many of the important plot points in the book hinge on the meaning of a tarot card, or interpretation of a synch, and the world is just too closed to be as amazed by their significance as Andromeda is. I really wanted to be as blown away by some of the occult turns as she was.

As I said in the beginning, this kills me, because without question the best parts of this book are the elements of actual real life events. Not the paragraphs of occult interpretation, or memories of past events; but the actual forward-moving story. Andromeda at school, Andromeda interacting with kids at a "tea party," at home with her parents, with boys, and dealing with a bicycle in a tree. These are the moments that shine, and fully convey Frank's wit and expertise at conveying high school life. It was a fight to get to the end, and it really shouldn't have been.

I would love to see Andromeda resurrected in future stories that continue her story.

Finally, I have to give the designer credit - without question, BEST book cover I've seen this year.

Frank Portman's ANDROMEDA KLEIN tells of a girl with problems: her hair is horrible, her occult partner Daisy is dead, and her older forbidden boyfriend has gone AWOL. When tarot readings predict bizarre events, Andromeda finds omens everywhere in this story of a girl's involvement with other worlds.