Customer Reviews

Anger Busting 101: The New ABC's for Angry Men & the Women Who Love Them

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

"Destructive anger hurts your health, makes you miserable, blocks solutions, wastes your energy, keeps you helpless, invites attacks, imprisons your spirit, wrecks human relations, gives you headaches, causes accidents, ruins restful sleep and turns a love life into a lonely life." ~Newton Hightower

Are some men addicted to rage? Can anger addiction be similar to alcohol addiction? Are there really biochemical changes in our bodies when we become angry, swear or pound things?

Newton Hightower was once a rageaholic who tried meditation, pillow-pounding and other methods, to no avail. He kept thinking he could gain control and change his behavior. Through his own experience with rage, and the consequences of being fired and becoming depressed, he developed the Recovery Method.

Did you know that children whose parents fight are more depressed than children from non-fighting families?

Did you know there is a way to control your conversations. It is not only humorous, it
will be very healing for your partner.

The conversation on pg. 45 is just a brilliant example. A man who is in control of his emotions, can say he is sorry and can admit to being wrong can be very sexy. Especially if he is controlling his emotions and making you feel safe and secure at the same time. There are ways to make a woman blossom and there are ways to kill her spirit. This book discusses both. Often, fighting is a way to say: "You are not paying me any attention, so I'll fight with you and get your attention."

The author offers:

15 Behaviors to avoid when angry. Some behaviors to avoid are: "Speaking, being sarcastic, yelling, criticizing, interrupting and name-calling."

20 Principles to replace negative traits - This list will encourage spiritual change that will not only benefit a marriage relationship. It will help men live on a deeper level.

11 Comments partners should avoid in order to defuse tense situations.
9 Ideas to help partners overcome their angry outbursts
7 Guidelines for effective communication with angry partners

Anger can destroy relationships and Newton Hightower went through two divorces before he realized his anger was a contributing factor in the failure of his marriages. Surprisingly, he was also trying to cure rage in others and it was making their rage worse. He had not found the answers. He then decided that if rage could be increased, it could also be decreased. He found the answers through a painful personal journey.

This book is divided into three main sections. The Introduction explains anger and also gives an Anger Self-Assessment Test.

Section I: The ABCs for Angry Men
Section II: Decision Time for Women
Section III: The ABCs for Women Who Are Training Angry Men

Throughout the book, you will find cute cartoons, great examples, enlightening quotes, conversations and statistics. I found this book to be insightful, truthful and informative. Now only will you find out the truth about anger, you will be enlightened in a new way. These principles can be used to improve communication on all levels.

This book is filled with truth. As a woman, I can say that yes, it can take a long time to get over the emotional pain of being verbally abused. No matter how short the argument, it can leave a woman damaged and even suicidal. A woman will often just stop speaking because she has become that angry herself. I would rather hear "I love you, I?m sorry for what I just said," than "I'm crazy."

Some of the conversations were such beautiful examples of how a man can take control of his relationships and really show the woman he is with that he loves her more than he loves his anger. I also enjoyed the wisdom gained from a variety of cultures and religions.

Chapter four is interesting and frightening. There are women all over America who live in fear of being at home. It was shocking to learn that twice as many women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends than are murdered by strangers. The author explains how some men are Cobras and others are Pit Bulls. He also explains how you should protect yourself. There is a list of organizations to assist women who are being battered.

If you are a man who wants to stop fault-finding, sarcasm, arguing, self-justification, rage and violence, this program might save your marriage, help you keep your job, keep you out of prison or prevent death. In general, this book can encourage healthy relationships.

If you are a woman, this might be the book you have been searching for. Finally you might be able to have a conversation with your husband without being verbally abused and finally live in an emotionally healthy climate.

The principles in "Anger Busting 101" encourage men to change their behavior quickly, dramatically and forever. If you are experiencing verbal abuse from the man you love, I can highly recommend this book. You will finally know if you should leave, stay and help your husband or seek counseling yourself. Anger will not only destroy a relationship, it can destroy your entire life.

You can make Peace with Your Anger.
You can make Your Relationships More Peaceful.

This is a guide to Peace. There is hope that you can calm the volcano and stop the destruction before it overflows into the lives of those you love.

~The Rebecca Review

Although I wish the book spent less time assuming all its readers were wife beaters who could use a trip to jail to cool off, I found its techniques very reasonable and helpful. Although I never have and never will hit a woman or child, I still tend to get angry too easily. Don't let the book's subtitle fool you into thinking it is only for marital fights/anger. If you get angry at your boss, your siblings, your parents, your kids, or random drivers, this book's techniques can help you. I'd like to see a version intended for people like me who are often angry but never violent. I'd also like to see a version for angry women, because not every woman is a victim of an angry man, as this book implies. Despite its faults, it is an immensely valuable book, and relevant to you if you are reading this review.

Anger, and subsequent rageful behavior, are addictions that can easily overtake a man's temperment. In a society where task-oriented individuals are rewarded for their drive, it is easy for men to carry those personality traits into the conduct of their personal lives. Unfortunately, the traits which work well in the business-world do not translate smoothly into most individual's personal lives. Newton Hightower speaks from the experience of a man who has been there and done that. He knows firsthand the spiralling effects of uncontrolled anger, and has suffered devastating consequences as a result of his actions. Through introspection and humor, Newton discovered the characteristics of his addiction and what steps were necessary to control the outward expressions of his anger. Fortunately, he is willing to share with us the lessons which he learned the hard way.

Unfortunately, rage addiction is something that angry men will probably never outgrow. Still, by following the simple steps and guidelines in this easy-to-read book, most men can rapidly turn their lives around. Newton writes in a style which makes his lessons easy to remember and simple to apply. (Sometimes, it is better to be happy than to be "right".) For any man who feels that his relationships are in trouble as a result of his anger, this book is a must-read.

In "Anger Busting 101" Newton Hightower provides a framework for change that anyone can use. The author starts by establishing his credentials - he is not only a professional therapist but has had an anger problem that nearly ruined his life. He tried the therapies that were thought to help but was not successful. In fact, he found that many of the traditional therapies actually made his problem worse.

In this text he goes over the techniques that he found actually worked to change his life. These techniques came out of a whole new approach to anger, this approach is to treat anger as a recovery situation. This brings me to the only item that I had a problem with in the book. In chapter 3 he discusses how to respond to questions of "why" from a spouse, sibling, or other person. For example, if asked why you got so angry and threw the lamp against the wall then you should use one of the answers given in the text. The basic idea of the answers is understandable as they focus on the angry person taking responsibility for their anger and actions. However, the way they are worded is highly questionable. For example, one response is "I'm crazy" or another is "I'm stupid". Current traditional psychotherapy would say to word it more along the lines of "What I did was a crazy thing to do" or "I did a stupid thing". Taking responsibility for your actions is one thing but taking it to the point of putting yourself down and endangering your self esteem when angry people often already have low self esteem does not seem like a good idea to me. Then again it is hard to argue with results. From the cases listed in the book and the comments from other people that have used it successfully it does seem to work.

If anger is controlling you in any way and you want to start living a postive and fulfilling life then this book is for you. I would use caution with the wording in Chapter 3 and feel that you could take responsibility without the self-deprication, but other than that this book seems to offer hope to people who have been unsuccessful in controling their rage in the past. A highly recommended read.

This Book saved my marriage and my family! My husband and I read this book together. It was written in a direct, clear, easy to understand language, not in terms understood only by the therapeutic community. It is the first time my husband actually understood what I'd been seeing all along.
The author's sharing of his own story regarding a lifetime of rage was the main thing that my husband could identify with and that gave validity to everything the author said and the suggestions he made.

The book contains so many valuable, simple, clear, step by step things to do to change behaviors. My husband could actually stop doing the things the author suggested to stop and start doing the things the author suggested to start doing. My children are thrilled with the changes between us.
The simple anger assessment test in the book enabled my husband and I to identfy, confirm and rate the severity of his problem.
I recommend this book to anyone who has, or thinks they may have a concern for trouble in their relationship caused or increased by anger or rage.

Written by Newton Hightower (Director of The Center for Anger Resolution), Anger Busting 101: New ABCs For Angry Men And The Women Who Love Them is a solidly written, immediately accessible, highly recommended psychological self-help guide for people who suffer the effects out-of-control anger. Using the "Recovery" approach to end destructive patterns and improve the quality of life for oneself and one's family, Anger Busting 101 is filled from cover to cover with tips, tricks, and techniques that can prove useful for everyone (since just about everyone has lost their temper at least once in a while, with disastrous effects) and in severe cases, can even be life-saving when combined with the wisdom and personal care of a professional therapist. Individual chapters address the basics of anger management, how a woman can tell if she should help her mate or if she has no choice but to leave him, step-by-step instructions to improve communication, and a great deal more.

This is one of those books we all need to read whether or not we or a partner have a problem with anger ourselves. It's very state-of-the-art in terms of psychological insight--the kind one needs to get along in the present climate of stressed-out people. I've recommended this book to several friends coping with various stages of anger in marriage, and they've thanked me for it. Newton Hightower is onto something important with his practical, straight-from-the-hip help. Women with the "learned helplessness" of battered/verbally abused wives will see their way out in this book. Both men and women are sure to benefit. Newton Hightower is a true peacemaker, and bless him for it.

Hightower has done it again! Anger Busting 101 is a must-read for therapists as well as angry men and their partners. This book is loaded with practical suggestions for healing relationships. Hightower's lighthearted approach manages to both enlighten and entertain. With self deprecating humor(rare for therapists), Hightower places himself on a level playing field with his readers. Hightower's personal journey in battling rage addiction remains an inspiration to angry men everywhere.
Rebecca Strick LMSW-ACP

In this highly practical "how-to" book, Newton Hightower shows us the devastating consequences of letting anger/rage take over your life. Through years of working on this problem with clients as a psycologist, he has become a well-respected expert in anger management. True-life examples are given to explain the different sides of this problem. Concrete approaches to stopping these destructive behaviors are then clearly outlined. This can be a LIFE-CHANGING learning experience - you will find specific ways to help yourself or someone you love deal with this terrible problem.

This book is great. It's not only good for men that have anger issues and women that love them, but it is also good for women with anger issues. ANYONE with an anger problem can benefit from this book.

I think this book should be a requirement for ALL men in anger management. Every counselor that deals with men with anger issues should also read this book and recommend it to their patients.

If you're not sure if you have an anger problem, but have been told by others that you do; then this book is for you too. It shows great real life examples of anger, how it harms, and what needs to be done to change the behavior.

This book is so helpful that I want to buy another copy to donate to my local library.