Most Helpful Customer Reviews
152 of 153 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Straight Shooter, April 26, 2000
By A Customer
This book is great for those of us who don't exactly have a normal relationship with anger. I should know. I am a recovering angry person who teaches (ironically) anger management. Potter-Efron's got our number, and he ain't gonna let us BS our way out of accepting responsibility for the havoc we've created in our lives. I read a lot of books about anger, and this one is probably my favorite so far. So many books about anger spend a lot of time describing the problem and current theories behind the nature of anger, etc., but very little time talking about solutions. Potter-Efron spends at least half the book giving clear, concrete things a person can do to begin to bring anger under control. Also, so many books about anger focus on people who tend to stuff anger. Who have a hard time getting in touch with and expressing anger. While that is a legitimate problem for many, this book focuses on exactly the opposite phenomenon. People who spew anger from all orifices with minimal (or no) provocation. It's just what I was looking for. Potter-Efron uses a great deal of humor to illustrate points and to provide perspective. He even interjects the angry person's rebuttal for almost everything he says. And he's dead-on with these rebuttals. You'll find yourself wanting to dispute a point he just made, only to turn the page and read the very thoughts you were just thinking. And he tells you why these thoughts will only lead you to more or continued anger. Like I said. No BS allowed. Be advised, though, that if you are an angry person reading this book because somebody else told you to, or for any reason other than that YOU know that YOUR anger is out of control, this book will probably piss you off real bad. You might not even finish reading it. Sadly enough, you're the very one who needs it most.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
58 of 62 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Lot of People Could Read this Book, October 25, 1998
By A Customer
I saw this book next to another book by the same author and felt compelled to look at it more closely. The introduction that I read was clear and concise. The author gave me the impression he wasn't going to take any *#$# from anyone who had the courage to admit they have a serious anger problem. I liked that. It was enough for me to buy it -- not because I'm an angry person, i.e., someone who is "angry all the time" (e.g., a rageaholic), but because it provided unusually clear guidelines for getting to the sources of anger and doing something about them. I know what's it like to experience anger (some don't). Sometimes it feels good, but other times it feels like &$#*. Sometimes it lingers, but other times, it stays with me longer than I would like. I was curious to see where I stood with respect to someone who is "angry all the time". This remarkable (and strangely humorous) book is divided into two parts: understanding anger and taking action to deal with it -- not to eliminate it from your life -- but to control it and use it well. I must admit, I like that concept of using your anger well. Everyone within reason (and I do mean everyone) could learn to use their anger well AND be consciously aware of what that means (I would also strongly recommend Letting Go of Anger by Pat and Ron Potter-Efron). This book, Angry All The Time, could be read by a lot of people. You might feel that you are habitually sneaky with your anger or feel unduly paranoid about the world. You might feel that you frequently get angry for no apparent reason or get angry a lot because you feel ashamed. You might feel that you become deliberately angry to always get your way or enjoy the rush of pleasure that comes with raging at the top of your lungs. You might feel a chronic need to exercise your righteous indignation or vent your feelings of hatred on a regular basis. As a result, you may feel like you're losing control of your life. If so, this book can help you. The author will give you intensely practical advice on how to deal with that anger. He is caring, but firm. Give him a chance. Listen to his words. And take action, now. You may, on the other hand, know someone who is "angry all the time". If so, take heart. There is a chapter in this book for you, too, and the rest of the book sheds light on the question of motives and goals of anger. And if you work with people who are, or seem to be, "angry all the time", this book will tell you about the anger and violence ladder and the six main reasons why people stay angry. Of course, you may just be curious about why people get "angry all the time" and want to know more about it as a student of human nature, as an observer of the human condition. Whatever. The first part of the introduction makes it clear that the book is intended primarily for those of you who have the awareness to admit that you have a serious anger problem. Here's a sneak preview, in the author's own words: "This is not a nice book. It's not supposed to make you feel better. In fact, after you read it you might feel worse for a while -- until you start doing things a whole lot smarter. Face it. If you're reading this book, you probably have a serious anger problem with anger or violence or both. You get angry over ridiculous things. You say and do stuff you later regret, and then you do the same crap all over again. You've lost friends, lovers, jobs, and maybe your freedom because you can't control your temper. If you haven't lost much yet, you will soon, unless you learn how to do things differently." Enough said.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
32 of 34 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simple and effective, April 16, 2000
Ron Potter-Effron provides a great introduction to the topic of why some people are always angry. He also offers a lifeline for those people who would like to escape the unhealthy anger they have carried with them for most of their lives. Like any radical lifestyle change, it takes a great deal of effort, conscious effort, to let go of your anger. Potter-Efron is very up-front about the amount of time and effort it will take you to achieve your goal. The important point, however, is that it's doable. You start off small and, to use Effron-Potter's concept of a ladder hierarchy of anger levels, climb down toward real peace of mind and calm. This is a wonderful, unpretentious book with a lot of sound advice for rageaholics and the people who love them. My only disagreement with Potter-Effron concerns his insistence that we have to let go of hatred to live a full and happy life. In some circumstances, it is impossible, even dangerous, to forgive someone for something they have done to you. I guess my response to his absolutist position on hatred would be a recommendation that you forgive only when it makes sense and is appropriate. In fairness to Potter-Effron, I think most hatreds probably should be settled by forgiveness and his advice on how to do so is very worthwhile. This is one of those self-help books you can read in a couple of hours. You can also put its strategies to work immediately. But don't expect immediate results and don't give up. It took you a long time to climb to the top of the anger ladder. It'll take a while to climb back down safely.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
|
