Customer Reviews

Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control

5 star:		(29)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book is great for those of us who don't exactly have a normal relationship with anger. I should know. I am a recovering angry person who teaches (ironically) anger management. Potter-Efron's got our number, and he ain't gonna let us BS our way out of accepting responsibility for the havoc we've created in our lives.

I read a lot of books about anger, and this one is probably my favorite so far. So many books about anger spend a lot of time describing the problem and current theories behind the nature of anger, etc., but very little time talking about solutions. Potter-Efron spends at least half the book giving clear, concrete things a person can do to begin to bring anger under control.

Also, so many books about anger focus on people who tend to stuff anger. Who have a hard time getting in touch with and expressing anger. While that is a legitimate problem for many, this book focuses on exactly the opposite phenomenon. People who spew anger from all orifices with minimal (or no) provocation. It's just what I was looking for.

Potter-Efron uses a great deal of humor to illustrate points and to provide perspective. He even interjects the angry person's rebuttal for almost everything he says. And he's dead-on with these rebuttals. You'll find yourself wanting to dispute a point he just made, only to turn the page and read the very thoughts you were just thinking. And he tells you why these thoughts will only lead you to more or continued anger. Like I said. No BS allowed. Be advised, though, that if you are an angry person reading this book because somebody else told you to, or for any reason other than that YOU know that YOUR anger is out of control, this book will probably piss you off real bad. You might not even finish reading it. Sadly enough, you're the very one who needs it most.

I saw this book next to another book by the same author and felt compelled to look at it more closely. The introduction that I read was clear and concise. The author gave me the impression he wasn't going to take any *#$# from anyone who had the courage to admit they have a serious anger problem. I liked that. It was enough for me to buy it -- not because I'm an angry person, i.e., someone who is "angry all the time" (e.g., a rageaholic), but because it provided unusually clear guidelines for getting to the sources of anger and doing something about them. I know what's it like to experience anger (some don't). Sometimes it feels good, but other times it feels like &$#*. Sometimes it lingers, but other times, it stays with me longer than I would like. I was curious to see where I stood with respect to someone who is "angry all the time". This remarkable (and strangely humorous) book is divided into two parts: understanding anger and taking action to deal with it -- not to eliminate it from your life -- but to control it and use it well. I must admit, I like that concept of using your anger well. Everyone within reason (and I do mean everyone) could learn to use their anger well AND be consciously aware of what that means (I would also strongly recommend Letting Go of Anger by Pat and Ron Potter-Efron). This book, Angry All The Time, could be read by a lot of people. You might feel that you are habitually sneaky with your anger or feel unduly paranoid about the world. You might feel that you frequently get angry for no apparent reason or get angry a lot because you feel ashamed. You might feel that you become deliberately angry to always get your way or enjoy the rush of pleasure that comes with raging at the top of your lungs. You might feel a chronic need to exercise your righteous indignation or vent your feelings of hatred on a regular basis. As a result, you may feel like you're losing control of your life. If so, this book can help you. The author will give you intensely practical advice on how to deal with that anger. He is caring, but firm. Give him a chance. Listen to his words. And take action, now. You may, on the other hand, know someone who is "angry all the time". If so, take heart. There is a chapter in this book for you, too, and the rest of the book sheds light on the question of motives and goals of anger. And if you work with people who are, or seem to be, "angry all the time", this book will tell you about the anger and violence ladder and the six main reasons why people stay angry. Of course, you may just be curious about why people get "angry all the time" and want to know more about it as a student of human nature, as an observer of the human condition. Whatever. The first part of the introduction makes it clear that the book is intended primarily for those of you who have the awareness to admit that you have a serious anger problem. Here's a sneak preview, in the author's own words: "This is not a nice book. It's not supposed to make you feel better. In fact, after you read it you might feel worse for a while -- until you start doing things a whole lot smarter. Face it. If you're reading this book, you probably have a serious anger problem with anger or violence or both. You get angry over ridiculous things. You say and do stuff you later regret, and then you do the same crap all over again. You've lost friends, lovers, jobs, and maybe your freedom because you can't control your temper. If you haven't lost much yet, you will soon, unless you learn how to do things differently." Enough said.

Ron Potter-Effron provides a great introduction to the topic of why some people are always angry. He also offers a lifeline for those people who would like to escape the unhealthy anger they have carried with them for most of their lives.

Like any radical lifestyle change, it takes a great deal of effort, conscious effort, to let go of your anger. Potter-Efron is very up-front about the amount of time and effort it will take you to achieve your goal. The important point, however, is that it's doable. You start off small and, to use Effron-Potter's concept of a ladder hierarchy of anger levels, climb down toward real peace of mind and calm.

This is a wonderful, unpretentious book with a lot of sound advice for rageaholics and the people who love them.

My only disagreement with Potter-Effron concerns his insistence that we have to let go of hatred to live a full and happy life. In some circumstances, it is impossible, even dangerous, to forgive someone for something they have done to you. I guess my response to his absolutist position on hatred would be a recommendation that you forgive only when it makes sense and is appropriate. In fairness to Potter-Effron, I think most hatreds probably should be settled by forgiveness and his advice on how to do so is very worthwhile.

This is one of those self-help books you can read in a couple of hours. You can also put its strategies to work immediately. But don't expect immediate results and don't give up. It took you a long time to climb to the top of the anger ladder. It'll take a while to climb back down safely.

I can say this book is for everyone. Whether your a rageaholic; partner, family member, co-worker or friend of an angry person; or someone who occassionly gets angry, this is a wonderful book to read. Mr. Potter-Effron explains with no holds barred. Since reading this book five days ago, I found my behavior and attitude has changed in a positive direction which is snowballing in a good way. I know now that anger was never a good part of my life and is something I can change. For rageaholics like myself, I do recommend also using the support of your friends, family AND a professional therapist or counselor to continue your progress towards an angry free life.

Over the course of my life I have run into many problems with anger. I used to beat on my sister when I was little. When I grew older, my parents tried to discipline me, but my Dad would rage and I would rage and there were several times I had my bags packed ready to run away from home. I have used my resentments and my anger to keep people away. I thought that since I had many bad experiences that the world owed me something. When I started to read this book, it was as if someone put out the fire on my short fuse. I was almost convinced that the author had a hidden camera in my house. I found myself nodding my head in agreement to many of the points he brought up. I used to get angry about once an hour and scream and yell, it has been a week now and I am at peace for the first time in my life. I am working on patching up the relationships that my old "angry" self has severed.

It is evident that there are many people for whom this book has been helpful. I respect this. Maybe there are different types of "Anger" for which different strategies are appropriate. Having said this, my experience with the book (especially the first chapters) left me with the feeling of it having been written by an angry person. Sarcasm (an "angry" communication strategy) is often used by the author to disqualify the feelings and thoughts of the "angry" person. As the "Reader from the US" points out... "you are left with the idea that any anger you experience is your fault and you must stop blaming others...." and that you are all wrong for being angry. So, the answer as the author puts it is: CONTROL yourself.... as if it was all in your mind, and an act of will power. I preferred John Lee's book: "Facing the fire", since it gives a more integrated approach to dealing with the emotion and what causes it at its roots, at least I can speak for my type of emotion. Other books that have been helpful are those that give guidance on assertive communication skills.

My husband is a rageaholic and has been in need of help for a long time. He "happened upon" this book in the bookstore and it has been a Godsend. It has been the only glimmer of hope in relation to his problem. in years. I have read the book, and it was as though the author lived in my home. I felt so validated by the book. I don't think anyone has ever made me feel so "not crazy". I cannot explain the power and freedom that I have felt since I read it. If you are reading these reviews, there is probably a problem.......get the book!

If you or someone you love expresses their anger in hurtful ways, this is the book for you. It provides you with an understanding into the thought process behind the emotion of anger and tools to help you stop the anger. Potter-Efron gives it to you straight - no BS - and he is not afraid to call you on your thoughts. A must read for anyone who gets angry.

My problem was that i was just not consious of how much anger I was carrying around and what it was doing to me and the people in my life, especially those that I loved the most. When I first read the book, I saw my life unfold before my eyes. It was shocking to say the least. I read the entire thing in one night. Then I read it again and and a third time just to make sure I understood everything. I did what it told me and my life has changed because of it. I now have the ability to be conscious of my anger and have learned to let it go. Consequently, I have more patience, more energy, less stress and I can finally feel happiness, compassion and love. I cannot say enough good things about this book. I would highly recommend it for anyone who thinks that they may have a problem with anger. Even people who don't think they have an anger problem may learn something about themselves by reading this book. It has changed my life for the better. Thank you Ron.

Get this book if you find yourself experiencing anger!! The author knows what he's talking about and really pinpoints exactly what you are thinking and doing like he just wrote it for you. I went through the book constantly saying "yep, I do that...I think that way....I treat people that way." Buy this book and read it, but don't just read it through like you are reading any casual novel. Really think about what he's saying like he was giving you this advice in person. Take to heart every single line and make a committment to change. It's a struggle to change since anger is so deep rooted and habitual, but this book will definitely give you a blueprint for change.