Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men's Anger and How to Move Beyond It [Paperback]

Marvin Allen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 10, 1994

"An exciting and inspiring book for any man who wishes to understand himself better--and for any woman who wishes to understand men."
NATHANIEL BRANDEN, Ph.D.
Author of THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROMANTIC LOVE
Nationally known therapist Marvin Allen explores the root causes of men's emotional problems and offers a comprehensive solution to restore their sense of joy and well-being: men working together in therapy groups. Drawing on the life stories of scores of men as well as the author's own personal experience, this landmark book dramatizes the groundbreaking techniques that men can use not simply to discuss their buried emotions but to release them in the healing company of other men. It provides a powerful catalyst for changing men's lives.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"An exciting and inspiring book for any man who wishes to understand himself better--and for any woman who wishes to understand men."
NATHANIEL BRANDEN, Ph.D.
Author of THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROMANTIC LOVE
Nationally known therapist Marvin Allen explores the root causes of men's emotional problems and offers a comprehensive solution to restore their sense of joy and well-being: men working together in therapy groups. Drawing on the life stories of scores of men as well as the author's own personal experience, this landmark book dramatizes the groundbreaking techniques that men can use not simply to discuss their buried emotions but to release them in the healing company of other men. It provides a powerful catalyst for changing men's lives.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (May 10, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449908119
• ISBN-13: 978-0449908112
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #536,064 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars My dear sir, everything I do is masculine! . . ., May 20, 2001

By 

Dave Kinnear "Executive Leader Coach" (Lake Forest, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men's Anger and How to Move Beyond It (Paperback)

Angry Men, Passive Men - understanding the roots of men's anger and how to move beyond it. This excellent volume is replete with personal stories, examples from real life men's support groups, and knowledgeable advice from a practicing therapist. It was, apparently, first published as "In the Company of Men."

Mr. Allen presents material here that may not at first seem new to anyone reading in men's studies these days. But the added value is in the second half of the book where, after convincing us that there are serious reasons to consider why men suppress their feelings, he gives us some ideas of how to break through the barriers. He explains how we will be able to open up to a full range of feelings if we simply stop accepting "the rules written on The Man Box" we're in.

Just as the women's movement has begun to dismantle the systemic reasons for being put in "the Woman Box," men are encouraged to review how and why we are so well indoctrinated by society to fill the stereotype of "man." We have to start at home and in the society at large to correct limiting views while saving the good aspects of being male. "What men need to do," Allen tells us, "is draw some distinctions between beliefs and behaviors they want to keep and ones they want to discard. For example, they may see that being able to hide their feelings in a poker game or in the middle of a business deal works to their advantage; there are times when it's important not to show your hand. But hiding their feelings from their wives and their friends keeps them isolated and alone."

I suppose the best recommendation, or review, of this book I can give you is to mention that I have ordered a dozen copies (from Amazon.com of course!) to give to friends and to use in my own men's group. I recommend this excellent work for any man or woman interested in learning more about the male psychology.

26 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Where's the Man's Anger??, November 3, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men's Anger and How to Move Beyond It (Paperback)

The book was good at describing how a man may have obtained his anger and was insightful. It did lack the father who was hostile in a psychological manner through manipulation, subtle verbal abuse, and unfair treatment in comparison to other siblings. There was a mention of obvious verbal abusive but nothing on subtle abuse. What about the man who wasn't physically abused or told outright that he was a loser?? Also, the chapters on love relationships were geared toward the passive angry man and did not take into account the angry man who uses things like verbal abuse and control against his spouse. Men who are angry are often abusive themselves. The controlling man already has control over his "dominion" and the wife does not get to pick the "furniture", etc.... To an angry verbally abusive man telling him that he should have his way at home when he already has control issues will only make things worse. It is good to address the passive man who never speaks up but there was a lack of attention to the angry man who will only allow his way. Lets not go to extremes in either the Men's movement or Women's movement. Each individual is valuable. The book does not talk about how to create mutuality and work as a partner or team (compromise in decision making). It merely talks about men taking control. This book may be good for the passive man who is angry but may further enhance characteristics of the man who is the "nice" guy to everyone outside his intimate relationship and a controlling verbally abusive guy to his spouse. The book would be much better if it had addressed the issues of a mutual relationship and the extreme of being vebally abusive versus speaking up. Speaking up for oneself does not mean disregarding your partners feelings or desires. A relationship should involve both parties making decisions and compromising when there is a difference of opinion.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for men and women, July 20, 2006

By 

RN in Wisconsin - See all my reviews

This review is from: Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men's Anger and How to Move Beyond It (Paperback)

Marvin Allen's straightforward, easy-to-read style of writing makes this book a must for anyone who wants to understand why men think and act the way they do, and how they differ from women emotionally. Many clients' stories and first-hand accounts help illustrate the points the author makes. The appendix offers additional resources for further study/help. As a quote on the front cover states, this is especially "a perfect book to give to a man who is suspicious of therapy and therapists" as well as a must-read for the women they love.