All I Know About Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehman's Dressing Room [Abridged, Audiobook, Unabridged] [Audio Cassette]

Erma Bombeck (Author, Reader)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 5, 1996

For nearly thirty years, America's favorite humorist, Erma Bombeck, has given us her take on the behavioral patterns of her favorite animal species --us. Much in the same way that Jane Goodall devoted her life to living with and recording the behavioral patterns of the wild mountain chimps of Gombi, so Bombeck has recorded our mating habits, maternal instincts, reproductive cycles, how we handle trends and technology, what makes us laugh, and what makes us cry. In her inimitably warm and witty style, Bombeck has discovered that the odd habits of the animal kingdom are strikingly similar to our own, and she reports her downright hilarious findings in All I Know About Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room.

Bombeck shows how close animals in the wild and humans really are, and how much we can learn from one another. The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track? From the garter snake transvestite, to the barn swallow who can't make a commitment, to the lion who mates eighty-six times a day, Bombeck reveals that we're not all that far removed from the animal world. An African monkey who picked the lock on every cage he'd ever been in got twenty minutes on a National Geographic special. Bombeck had a cousin with the same skill; he got two years.

Bombeck proves that a behaviorist need not wear a safari jacket and live in a tent in order to be an expert on every facet of a species' behavior. From the aerobics classroom -- where humans defend their territory to the death by spraying their mates with their own personal perfume -- to our migratory patterns -- where, like a certain species of butterfly, we fly to Miami in hordes the minute the temperature dips below sixty, Bombeck demonstrates in her quintessential style that while animals may have more fun, longer tails, and better sex lives, the gap that separates us from the animal kingdom is closing...fast.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When syndicated newspaper columnist Bombeck compares gorillas' show-off behavior to the attention-getting ploys of Madonna, Howard Stern, Roseanne and other "professional exhibitionists," one feels she may be onto something. Although many of these 38 lighthearted pieces, which seek out loose parallels between Homo sapiens and the rest of the animal kingdom, don't click, those that do are irreverent, funny and sassy, like her put-down of the men's movement or her survey of sex in the 1990s. There are several awful groaners here, as when the bestselling humorist leaps from the cockroach's eons-old longevity to the "longevity" of Christmas fruitcake. A lot of her animal-based observations on humans' mating and courtship habits, emotional makeup and struggle for survival are superficial. Nevertheless, fans will enjoy Bombeck's wry comments on toilet-training toddlers; men's superiority complex about driving a car; women's dieting and compulsion to hoard things; and how to encourage creative play in children. $300,000 ad/promo; Literary Guild and Doubleday Book Club selections.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Bombeck carries on in the best tradition of Bombeck with her latest collection of short, humorous, piercingly accurate looks at the human condition. This time around, she leads off each essay with an observation of the animal kingdom. For example, Bombeck lets us know about the female African elephant, whose gestation period is 660 days and who nurses her newborns (300 pounds with stretchmarks no less). From there she launches into an account of human pregnancy, covering such areas as frozen embryos. She writes, "It gives new meaning to the question, 'Daddy, where did I come from?'. 'You were thawed in Milwaukee, son.'" Bombeck is a perennial favorite, and there's no reason to think that this won't be in as much demand as her last 11 books.
Carol Spielman Lezak, General Learning Corp., Northbrook, Ill.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Audio Cassette
• Publisher: HarperAudio; Unabridged edition (March 5, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0694515787
• ISBN-13: 978-0694515783
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 4.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,526,524 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #99 in Books > Books on Cassette > Humor

More About the Author

Beloved for her wry yet warm look at family life, Erma Bombeck was America's favorite humorist at the time of her death in 1996. Ten of her 13 books, including Forever, Erma, appeared on the New York Times best-seller list. She claimed her first fiction writing was the weather forecast in the Dayton Herald. Her favorite food was pasta, and her hobby was dust.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Way to go Erma, September 20, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: All I Know About Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room (Paperback)

I love Erma Bombeck. She is the best author I've read. This book continues that tradition. Every chapter is a laugh. The best part is, you can reread and reread the book and still laugh. Only Erma could do such a thing.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Some funny pieces, though not all hit the mark, July 30, 2007

By 

Blaine Greenfield "eclectic reader" (Belle Meade, NJ) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: All I Know About Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room (Paperback)

Heard the taped version of Erma Bombeck's ALL I KNOW ABOUT

ANIMAL BEHAVIOR I LEARNED IN LOEHMANNMN'S DRESSING

ROOM . . . this is a collection of 38 pieces where she compares and

contrasts animal behavior with that of the human species.

Not everything hit the mark, but those that did had me laughing quite

a bit . . . for example, when she compares the show-off behavior

of gorillas to the attention-getting ploys of Madonna, Howard Stern,

Roseanne, and other "professional exhibitionists, I kept thinking to myself

that there are indeed amazing parallels.

I also liked her observation about the fact that the female elephant

calf carries here calf for 660 days before giving birth and continues

breeding until she is 90 days old . . . however, Bombeck says not

to feel too sorry for the elephant; after all, her height enables her

to carry the extra weight quite well.

And then she tells the story of four dolphins who got lost and

were trapped in a New Jersey river. Of course, she contends, they

had to be men . . . which leads to the author's advice on ending

all wars: "Let men give directions on how to get there."

Bombeck, who died in 1996, was always one of my favorite

humorists . . . this book will help remind you just how funny she

was . . . narration by Barbara Rosenblatt was fine; however, I would

have preferred hearing the author herself.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Maybe the animals have us beat?, July 6, 2002

By 

Charles Lewis (Macon, GA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: All I Know About Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room (Hardcover)

Of all the animals, man is only one that blushes -- or who needs
to. He is also the only one that laughs, or at least that's what
the naturalists claim. Perhaps it is because we humans are the
funniest of the animals, and who better to point that out than
the late Erma Bombeck?

In "All I Know About Human Behavior I Learned in Loehman's
Dressing Room", Bombeck shares some of the observations made by
the naturalists and then shows how humans are alike. The female
elephant, for example, carries her calf for 660 days before
giving birth and continues breeding until she is ninety years
old. But Bombeck doesn't feel too sorry for the elephant; after
all with her height she carries the extra weight quite well!

In the old days pregnancy was a real event in a woman's life; she
was told to give up exercise and could eat whatever she wanted.
Today, however, she has to exercise more than ever and everyone
is watching what she eats. Birth is so ordinary that a female

jockey delivered only a few hours after her third race. Surrogate
mothers made the old joke "Are you pregnant? No, I'm carrying it
for a friend" reality, and frozen embryos are part of the divorce
settlement!

Another notice tells of four dolphins who got lost and were
trapped in a New Jersey river. Of course we all know they had to
be men. Bombeck knows how to end all wars: "Let men give
directions on how to get there." Why don't men ask for
directions? It would compromise their masculinity.

Of course animals are involved in many laboratory experiments.
After wondering who got their permission, Bombeck continues: "I
have never been in a laboratory where mice are involved in
research. So when someone tells me they are being used to test
the effects of cigarette smoke and alcohol and the consequences
of too much sun, I have to believe there's a group of mice
sitting around the pool, smoking and drinking Mai Tais and
working on a tan."

When she thinks of animal speed, she thinks of the IRS cashing
your check (the fastest animal on earth) and giving a refund (the
snail is faster). When she reads about the devices that are used
to track animals in the wild, she remembers the various
electronic devices we have to stay in touch. What should you
record on that answering machine? "We're not home right now?"
That's obvious. "We'll return your call?" What if it is a
aluminum siding salesman?

This is not a connected narrative, but a series of sketches, each

based on a different piece of information about the animal
kingdom. As a result, you can read this in a hurry or stretch it
out. There are a few dry places, but this is a good book to bring
with you while you are waiting for your appointment with the IRS.