Customer Reviews

Anita Blake The Laughing Corpse Necromancer #1

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

It takes a very special, very unique kind of comic book to open with a zombie attack... and inspire nothing but boredom.

Sadly "Anita Blake The Laughing Corpse Necromancer #1" is one of those comic books, where the laundering of toys and jogging is deemed more important than anything approaching a plot. In fact once the initial threat is dealt with, nothing really happens in this entire issue -- apparently because Laurell K. Hamilton thinks it's more important to have Anita ramble about guns and how tough she is.

Being a strong and ballsy heroine, Anita lets the police deal with the killer zombies while she blubbers about her toy penguins getting zombie glop on them. And when Dolph Storr shows up, she spends several pages describing how Dominga sent zombies to kill her and about how they can't actually pin anything on her. And making coffee. And angelfish. And washing stuffed penguins.

Seriously, can't you just smell the adrenaline in the air? It crackles with action!

After checking into a hotel with her favorite toy penguin, Anita contacts the balding werewolf Irving and goes jogging with her more realistically attractive (read: doesn't look like an Angelina Jolie parody) friend Ronnie. Unfortunately they run into some new trouble while they're out running through the streets -- a couple of thugs turn up to have a chat with her.

I spent most of "Anita Blake The Laughing Corpse Necromancer #1" waiting for two things to happen -- anything involving action, danger and suspense, and for Anita Blake to show that she was tougher than your average melted marshmallow. Neither one did. Heck, the girly-looking, freakishly-chiseled guy on the cover doesn't even make a cameo appearance.

Neither, for that matter, does the plot -- the entire comic book consists of Anita talking a lot and doing mundane things (phoning, jogging, talking about coffee), while occasionally sparing a thought for the "bad guys." No new revelations are made and nothing much happens -- instead we're just treated to Anita's cheesy catchphrases ("Paranoia is just another word for longevity") and shallow personal insights ("There's something about being naked that makes me feel vulnerable" -- you and everyone else on the planet, lady).

There's a brief spurt of action near the end of the chapter, but even that fails because Anita basically sits there making snarky remarks at a couple of thugs who then beat her to the ground -- and it turns out that no, she doesn't have any kung-fu skills to turn the tables in style, she just yaps ("Is that all you got?") until someone punches her. Unfortunately it quickly turns into another talkfest so that Anita can play "bad cop," despite having done nothing more intimidating than lie on the pavement.

And yes, our Oh So Tough heroine gets her butt kicked again, and only prevails because a bunch of big strong cops and a sexy blonde private eye save the day for her. Her performance is especially laughable because Hamilton clearly thinks that Anita is tough and menacing, rather than a short whiny woman with freakishly inflated lips. Misquoting Dirty Harry ("a role model of mine") and accusing a man of having "phallic power" issues are just the icing.

"Anita Blake The Laughing Corpse Necromancer #1" is, simply put, much ado about nothing -- after the first page it becomes a long and talky ramble through the Daily Life of Anita Blake. Count me out.