Customer Reviews

Ankle Biters

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

I have to say I wasn't expecting much when I rented this movie, but after watching it, I was overwhelmed by what I experienced. Never has a motion picture moved and inspired me more than Ankle Biters. I can't begin to put into words the awe-inspiring acting, screenplay, cinematography, and special effects that is Ankle Biters. For the entire length of the film, I sat on the edge on my seat in anticipation of what would happen next. This unprecedented movie experience left me wondering how on earth this wasn't an Oscar nominee. Even if the film was overlooked for a Best Picture nomination, the acting of Adam Minarovich certainly should have been worthy of an Oscar. This movie ranks right up there with Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, The Godfather, and The Lord of the Rings. To see this movie is to be taken on an emotional rollercoaster unparallel to anything ever created in cinema. This is quite possibly the greatest cinematic achievement the world will ever experience.

Vampire dwarves invade a small southern town. They obtain possession of a sword that has traces of the blood of the last full sized vampire (dwarf vampires can only infect other dwarves. You should have known that) and plot havoc and, presumably, world domination. At least minions of full-sized vampire subjects. Half-vampire, half-human Drexel, with dwarf sidekick T-Bone, combine to battle the evil dwarves.
ANKLE BITERS is pretty dreadful. Everything from acting to editing to the script is below average, is some cases way below. If you're looking for a real vampire hunter movie check out BLADE or JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES. The dwarves are a nice twist, but the movie doesn't come near to having a clue about what to do with them.

This movie isn't worth the time it takes to watch it, and I LIKE crappy movies like this. It's all a rip-off of Blade, with a couple of midgets. Unwatchable even with beer, I only give any stars because you have to applaud the fact that they actualy got the thing made.

Its... like a [...]... its so badly done... you cant understand a word that is said because the sound is so bad, sometimes so quiet you just hear a faint murmmrmmummum sound. Its like a really REALLY badly made [...], without the sex.

AND HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET AN 18 CERT? It doesnt even have any special FX, barely even blood! they must have stretched their budget to 5 blood capsules for the whole film.
IN FACT, HOW DID IT EVEN GET PUBLISHED!?!?!? ITS SO BAD, YOU CANT LAUGH. ITS THAT BAD.

"it'll either kill him, or make him a helluva lot stronger..."
My favorite line! Ha, if you enjoy mocking bad movies, this will give you plenty of material-- i won a 'Bad Movie Contest' with this one.

Upon inspection of the jacket for this DVD, the reader gleans that this is a movie about vampire midgets. I like vampire movies, and I like midgets, so I figured, hey, two great tastes that taste great together, right? Little did I know that this was actually a movie about vampire midget REDNECKS, mullets and flannel and all. I laughed until I cried. And then I cried for real when I realized this movie was filmed not an hour away from here in SC. (I live in Georgia.) For some reason, I haven't been able to convince anyone else I know to watch this movie, but I swear it's entertaining.

Low budget homemade movie about vampire midgets who go around attacking people......IT'S AWFUL!! There's minimal action, poor acting, crap for a plot, and the cinematography sucks. I wish people would STOP making their own movies with camcorders!

This is the most amazingly horrible film ever made. I've decided it might be worth buying to use as a practical joke on people, or better yet, show it to some unsuspecting person, get a group together, and take bets on how long before they stop watching it. I think I may have lasted 15 minutes myself, but I felt my brain melting so I stopped. However, if you ever get the chance to watch this movie, do it. Even if you cannot last more than 15 minutes, it's an experience you will never forget. There is no movie that will not seem better by comparison. I only gave it one star because 0 (or less than 0) was not an option.

halfway through this steaming 3 foot poo-pile, we turned on the lights, my girlfriend went to check her e-mail, and i went to get food--without pausing the movie. writer, director, star adam m. is a thief. he stole the idea for this "film" as well as my time. the redneck dwarfs are unintelligible, and who knew one can execute a backflip to avoid being shot by an arrow? i would've given this movie 2 stars if the cast would've been british, but as it stands it gets 1 star for having a deceptively attractive dvd case.

My friends and I rented this a few weeks ago from our local convenience store. It's shot with a handycam, the actors are terrible, and the plot and direction are senseless... and this movie is still fantastic. From start to finish, we couldn't stop laughing. It's so terrible that it's hillarious. The opening scence with the vampire POV shots is second only to the amazing stunt. Yes, stunt. Some dude flips onto a fence for no reason, then backflips off it for no reason. Buy or rent this movie, it's the funniest piece of film ever.