Another Place at the Table [Paperback]

Kathy Harrison (Author)

Book Description

Release date: May 24, 2004

The startling and ultimately uplifting narrative of one woman's thirteen-year experience as a foster parent.

For more than a decade, Kathy Harrison has sheltered a shifting cast of troubled youngsters-the offspring of prostitutes and addicts; the sons and daughters of abusers; and teenage parents who aren't equipped for parenthood. All this, in addition to raising her three biological sons and two adopted daughters. What would motivate someone to give herself over to constant, largely uncompensated chaos? For Harrison, the answer is easy.

Another Place at the Table is the story of life at our social services' front lines, centered on three children who, when they come together in Harrison's home, nearly destroy it. It is the frank first-person story of a woman whose compassionate best intentions for a child are sometimes all that stand between violence and redemption.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It's 1988, and Harrison, a happily married mother of three, takes a job with Head Start, working with at-risk four-year-olds. Her heart goes out to the foster kids; before long, she and her husband take state training and adopt two sisters. Five children make a big family, but Harrison finds it tough to turn her back on needy children. She and her husband start accepting emergency care "hot-line" foster children, too; soon, Harrison quits her day job and becomes a full-time-overtime, really-foster parent. In addition to a stay-at-home mom's usual duties, Harrison is caring for children with serious emotional baggage and often complex medical problems. There are lawyers, therapists and social service people to meet with, plus the scheduling of visits to birth mothers, an emotional roller coaster for all parties. Birth mothers, she finds, are often "harder to hate than you might expect," and when an especially difficult child comes along, it's almost impossible to accept that even foster parents have their limitations. And how do you "give enough" to each child so they get a healthy sense of family, "without loving them too much to let them go in the end?" With over half a million American children in foster care today, Harrison's personal but vitally important account should be read by public policy makers and by anyone with a spare room in their home.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Booklist

With so much awful publicity surrounding foster parenting, Harrison's story of opening her home to foster children, three of whom she later adopted, is tender and inspiring. It is also filled with heartbreaking truths about abused and neglected children and a social service system that is overburdened and occasionally negligent itself. For 13 years, Harrison, along with her husband, three biological sons, and three adopted daughters, has fostered abandoned infants, runaway teens, disabled preschoolers, and children discharged from psychiatric hospitals. The Harrisons also became hot-line foster parents, willing to accept children in emergency situations with little or no notice. Harrison describes the process social workers use to place children, the horrifying circumstances of the children involved, and the training required of foster parents. She brings her story home by focusing, with heart-rending details, on four troubled children, including Danny, a developmentally delayed eight-year-old; Lucy, a deeply depressed eight-year-old abandoned by her mother; seven-month-old Karen, eventually adopted by the Harrisons and later diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome; and Sara, a six-year-old who had been sexually abused. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Tarcher; Reprint edition (May 24, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1585422827
• ISBN-13: 978-1585422821
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #37,622 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #34 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Adoption
  • #63 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Politics & Government > Public Affairs & Policy > Social Services & Welfare
  • #85 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Social Work

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 35 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderfully honest look at the life of a foster family April 22, 2003

By Becca B

Format:Hardcover

Kathy's Harrison's memoir of her life as a foster parent to over one hundred children is at times funny, sad, and heart-wrenching, but always completely honest. She is honest about her own failures and weaknesses, about the difficulty in fostering troubled children, about the many shortcomings of the foster care system, and about the tremendous need each child in that system has for a loving, attentive family. She sugarcoats nothing, yet manages to show the reader each sweet, loving, unique child she took in under the labels of "abused," "troubled" and "mentally ill."

I began this book as someone who never imagined that I would want to be a foster parent, and finished it with the inspiration to pursue it as soon as possible. Harrison is not a superhero, as I previously imagined foster parents to be; she is an ordinary person who has given an extrodinary piece of herself to those members of our society who need it most. Her story, and that of the children she loves, deserves to be read.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Good - and Tough March 2, 2004

By Jill B

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

As an adoption worker/counselor, I work hard at learning studying about foster care and the issues that face "my" kids and parents. I'd heard good things about this book, and thought I'd give it a try. I had to stop halfway through. I spend all day dealing with the horrible things of foster care - the terrible abuse, the ridiculous beauracracy, the burnt-out workers, and Kathy did a fantastic job of capturing this world. So realistic a job I could hardly call it after-hours reading.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone wanting to learn and know more about foster care.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for All Prospective Foster Parents December 30, 2003

By A Customer

Format:Hardcover

This book should be mandatory reading for anyone interested in becoming a foster parent. Having been a social worker in the foster care system for many years, I appreciate Kathy's frank presentation of some of the most difficult issues that any foster parent may face. Some people go into fostering with a rosy picture of helping an innocent, angelic child, and those people are setting themselves up to fail. Kathy presents a realistic picture of the ups and downs of fostering, the good and the bad, that is definitely not for the faint of heart but is a true depiction of the feelings and constitution that it takes to bring wounded children into your home. I couldn't put it down.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars If you want to know what it is like to be a foster parent or a foster parent that wants to know your not alone...read this book. October 5, 2007

By R. Stutz

Format:Paperback

This book is about Kathy Harrison's real life as a foster mother and the story about a couple of the children that came into her home. She talks about her true emotions and feelings as she tries to hold these "shattered" children together with, as she puts it, just love and "band aids."

Augusten Burroughs (author of Running with Scissors) said about this book...."Shocking, brutal, heartbreaking and ultimately redemptive, This is the riveting and profoundly moving story of a hero, disguised as an ordinary woman. And like every hero, it's the children she is out to save."

Unlike Augusten I did not find the book "shocking" but honest and realistic to what every foster mom goes through. I could not believe how close our stories were as I read this book. You could have taken out the names of her children and drop in some of mine, tweak their story a little, and it wouldn't ring any truer then what we have seen and gone through.

I cried as she wrote about letting Lucy go to an adoptive home. She loved Lucy but not in the same way as the children she adopted. She wanted to keep her but also wanted Lucy to have that unconditional, total love she deserved. The pain of letting Lucy go tore open those feelings and what we went through with two little boys I had for three years.

She writes about her desire to reach ever child that walked into her home and the heartbreak when she realized love, food, clothes, a home, and safety wont/cant heal all their wounds.

She talks about the times caseworkers have such caviler attitudes to their lack of action that keeps a child in the system longer then need be, or keeps them off the adoption list longer. It reminded me of the unfelt and off the hand "sorry" and "oh, well" I have heard so often.... But like her, I don't know how to change things, nor do I have the time to try because there is "another child coming through my front door that needs me."

I understood as she talked about the times she stood tall and strong when she felt the weakest, because it was best for the children. Telling the emotions every foster parent feels behind closed doors. The love she has for the strength and unbelievable timing her husband had at being there when she needed him. I understood the times she wanted to yell at a parent for smoking around the baby in her care but struggles with what is good for the baby and the need to keep the communication open between them. The honest hate she felt for some of the parents that have abused the children in her care but at the same time struggle as she realizes that most likely the bio-parents were children in the same situation when they were young and haven't learned anything different. The hope that what she was doing would change things in some way screamed what every foster parent prays is true. It made me think she had a hidden camera in my home that could read my thoughts and feelings I never let others see.

The hardest part of the book, for me, was the roller coaster of emotions they went on as they tried to adopt Karen. She is elegant in relating the fear of loosing a child that, in your heart, is already yours. A feeling that can't be explained or even come close to being logical. She maps out the joys of moving forward, the pains of more hold ups, the relief that the children are in your care, but the lingering dread that things could change in an instant. She revels how everything is devastatingly out of our control and we have to stay on till the ride is done.

She is most honest about not being a saint, or perfect, or even close to perfect. I laughed so hard when she wrote about the attachment case workers visit. She says she remembers her weakest moments (when she said something she shouldn't of or didn't handle a situation the right way) when people call her a saint; so do I. It only takes one or two human reactions to realize we are not saints or perfect; but she honors us with "a warrior" doing our best.

However, she also shows why we keep doing what we do for these children. The ability to see more in these children then others do and the wonderful feeling we get when the children reach not their potential (because it is rare we get to see this) but better then when they came to our door and father then others thought they could. This might be a simple smile, or a giggle, a sentence everyone understood, going a week with out an out burst, a day with out harming themselves, or the ability to care about something other then themselves for a second or two.

I could go on and on but if you want to see what it is like to be a foster parent....read this book! If you are a foster parent and want to know you are not alone....read this book! Read more ›

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Emotionally Draining and Fulfilling at the Same Time May 29, 2003

By Bookreporter

Format:Hardcover

Kathy Harrison is not the kind of person who can just sit back and watch others suffer. She isn't the kind of person who feels like making a charitable contribution is doing her part to make the world a better place. Kathy Harrison is one of a special breed of people: someone who is willing to make sacrifices in order to make others happy. For Kathy, those sacrifices mean opening up her home --- and her heart --- to the neediest children in the world. Kathy Harrison is a foster parent but, more importantly, she is a hero to over one hundred children that she has helped through their toughest times.

In ANOTHER PLACE AT THE TABLE, Harrison makes no attempts to glamorize her role as a foster parent. She doesn't make herself out to be a saint. She simply tells it like it is, complete with the disheartening stories of children who have been neglected, abused and abandoned. But throughout the struggles she recounts in her book, there is always a glimmer of light: the children she has helped rehabilitate, the foster children who have found wonderful permanent homes, and the children who Harrison and her husband have adopted themselves. Despite her battles with the social services system, Kathy Harrison has made a difference.

ANOTHER PLACE AT THE TABLE is emotionally draining and fulfilling at the same time. While the subject matter is not lighthearted, the writing is excellent and the reading is fast-paced. Harrison has presented an open, honest view of her life --- faults included. Perhaps that is what makes the book exceptional.

Reflecting on the stories in this book, the phrase "Truth is stranger than fiction" comes to mind. In a world where so many of us live such comfortable lives with caring families, it is hard to believe that the events in this book really happened.... And no invented character could rival the personalities of those living in the Harrison household. ANOTHER PLACE AT THE TABLE tells not only the story of Kathy Harrison and her foster children but also the story of foster families across the nation. It will bring you to tears and will make you angry. It won't make you laugh and it doesn't have a happy ending. But it will make you think about the foster care system, and maybe it will encourage you to make a difference.

--- Reviewed by Melissa Brown Read more ›