Customer Reviews

Another Place at the Table: A Story of Shattered Childhoods Redeemed by Love

5 star:		(37)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Kathy's Harrison's memoir of her life as a foster parent to over one hundred children is at times funny, sad, and heart-wrenching, but always completely honest. She is honest about her own failures and weaknesses, about the difficulty in fostering troubled children, about the many shortcomings of the foster care system, and about the tremendous need each child in that system has for a loving, attentive family. She sugarcoats nothing, yet manages to show the reader each sweet, loving, unique child she took in under the labels of "abused," "troubled" and "mentally ill."

I began this book as someone who never imagined that I would want to be a foster parent, and finished it with the inspiration to pursue it as soon as possible. Harrison is not a superhero, as I previously imagined foster parents to be; she is an ordinary person who has given an extrodinary piece of herself to those members of our society who need it most. Her story, and that of the children she loves, deserves to be read.

As an adoption worker/counselor, I work hard at learning studying about foster care and the issues that face "my" kids and parents. I'd heard good things about this book, and thought I'd give it a try. I had to stop halfway through. I spend all day dealing with the horrible things of foster care - the terrible abuse, the ridiculous beauracracy, the burnt-out workers, and Kathy did a fantastic job of capturing this world. So realistic a job I could hardly call it after-hours reading.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone wanting to learn and know more about foster care.

This book should be mandatory reading for anyone interested in becoming a foster parent. Having been a social worker in the foster care system for many years, I appreciate Kathy's frank presentation of some of the most difficult issues that any foster parent may face. Some people go into fostering with a rosy picture of helping an innocent, angelic child, and those people are setting themselves up to fail. Kathy presents a realistic picture of the ups and downs of fostering, the good and the bad, that is definitely not for the faint of heart but is a true depiction of the feelings and constitution that it takes to bring wounded children into your home. I couldn't put it down.

Kathy Harrison is not the kind of person who can just sit back and watch others suffer. She isn't the kind of person who feels like making a charitable contribution is doing her part to make the world a better place. Kathy Harrison is one of a special breed of people: someone who is willing to make sacrifices in order to make others happy. For Kathy, those sacrifices mean opening up her home --- and her heart --- to the neediest children in the world. Kathy Harrison is a foster parent but, more importantly, she is a hero to over one hundred children that she has helped through their toughest times.

In ANOTHER PLACE AT THE TABLE, Harrison makes no attempts to glamorize her role as a foster parent. She doesn't make herself out to be a saint. She simply tells it like it is, complete with the disheartening stories of children who have been neglected, abused and abandoned. But throughout the struggles she recounts in her book, there is always a glimmer of light: the children she has helped rehabilitate, the foster children who have found wonderful permanent homes, and the children who Harrison and her husband have adopted themselves. Despite her battles with the social services system, Kathy Harrison has made a difference.

ANOTHER PLACE AT THE TABLE is emotionally draining and fulfilling at the same time. While the subject matter is not lighthearted, the writing is excellent and the reading is fast-paced. Harrison has presented an open, honest view of her life --- faults included. Perhaps that is what makes the book exceptional.

Reflecting on the stories in this book, the phrase "Truth is stranger than fiction" comes to mind. In a world where so many of us live such comfortable lives with caring families, it is hard to believe that the events in this book really happened. And no invented character could rival the personalities of those living in the Harrison household. ANOTHER PLACE AT THE TABLE tells not only the story of Kathy Harrison and her foster children but also the story of foster families across the nation. It will bring you to tears and will make you angry. It won't make you laugh and it doesn't have a happy ending. But it will make you think about the foster care system, and maybe it will encourage you to make a difference.

--- Reviewed by Melissa Brown

This book is an excellent book on what the foster care system in this country is really like. It is written by someone who was been a foster parent and has seen the ins and outs first hand. She is very straightforward and honest about the foster care system and does not sugar-coat anything. She talks about the shortcomings of being a foster parent, such as the stigma attached to foster parents, the low pay, being on-call 24-7, kids getting sent back to abusive families, getting attached to a child, only to have to say goodbye, having to protect your family from the more dangerous foster kids, etc.

I really liked how she talked about the different foster kids and the descriptions of their backgrounds that brought them to foster care in the first place.

Some parts of the book were difficult to read because of some of the difficult and painful situations that some of the kids were in. But I would highly recommend this book to someone who is considering being a foster parent.

This book is about Kathy Harrison's real life as a foster mother and the story about a couple of the children that came into her home. She talks about her true emotions and feelings as she tries to hold these "shattered" children together with, as she puts it, just love and "band aids."

Augusten Burroughs (author of Running with Scissors) said about this book...."Shocking, brutal, heartbreaking and ultimately redemptive, This is the riveting and profoundly moving story of a hero, disguised as an ordinary woman. And like every hero, it's the children she is out to save."

Unlike Augusten I did not find the book "shocking" but honest and realistic to what every foster mom goes through. I could not believe how close our stories were as I read this book. You could have taken out the names of her children and drop in some of mine, tweak their story a little, and it wouldn't ring any truer then what we have seen and gone through.

I cried as she wrote about letting Lucy go to an adoptive home. She loved Lucy but not in the same way as the children she adopted. She wanted to keep her but also wanted Lucy to have that unconditional, total love she deserved. The pain of letting Lucy go tore open those feelings and what we went through with two little boys I had for three years.

She writes about her desire to reach ever child that walked into her home and the heartbreak when she realized love, food, clothes, a home, and safety wont/cant heal all their wounds.

She talks about the times caseworkers have such caviler attitudes to their lack of action that keeps a child in the system longer then need be, or keeps them off the adoption list longer. It reminded me of the unfelt and off the hand "sorry" and "oh, well" I have heard so often. But like her, I don't know how to change things, nor do I have the time to try because there is "another child coming through my front door that needs me."

I understood as she talked about the times she stood tall and strong when she felt the weakest, because it was best for the children. Telling the emotions every foster parent feels behind closed doors. The love she has for the strength and unbelievable timing her husband had at being there when she needed him. I understood the times she wanted to yell at a parent for smoking around the baby in her care but struggles with what is good for the baby and the need to keep the communication open between them. The honest hate she felt for some of the parents that have abused the children in her care but at the same time struggle as she realizes that most likely the bio-parents were children in the same situation when they were young and haven't learned anything different. The hope that what she was doing would change things in some way screamed what every foster parent prays is true. It made me think she had a hidden camera in my home that could read my thoughts and feelings I never let others see.

The hardest part of the book, for me, was the roller coaster of emotions they went on as they tried to adopt Karen. She is elegant in relating the fear of loosing a child that, in your heart, is already yours. A feeling that can't be explained or even come close to being logical. She maps out the joys of moving forward, the pains of more hold ups, the relief that the children are in your care, but the lingering dread that things could change in an instant. She revels how everything is devastatingly out of our control and we have to stay on till the ride is done.

She is most honest about not being a saint, or perfect, or even close to perfect. I laughed so hard when she wrote about the attachment case workers visit. She says she remembers her weakest moments (when she said something she shouldn't of or didn't handle a situation the right way) when people call her a saint; so do I. It only takes one or two human reactions to realize we are not saints or perfect; but she honors us with "a warrior" doing our best.

However, she also shows why we keep doing what we do for these children. The ability to see more in these children then others do and the wonderful feeling we get when the children reach not their potential (because it is rare we get to see this) but better then when they came to our door and father then others thought they could. This might be a simple smile, or a giggle, a sentence everyone understood, going a week with out an out burst, a day with out harming themselves, or the ability to care about something other then themselves for a second or two.

I could go on and on but if you want to see what it is like to be a foster parent....read this book! If you are a foster parent and want to know you are not alone....read this book!

This account of providing a home for children who were in dire need is heartwarming and encouraging. Many of the children who had a place at this table had parents who were in jail or were deemed legally unable to care for them. Each child came equipped with major emotional baggage.

The love and acceptance and diligent, dogged efforts on behalf of each child in this home have indeed raised the bar. Instead of being a stark and grim account akin to Dickens, this work instead is uplifting and hopeful. One can only feel that each child who found a place at this table was very fortunate indeed.

This is a book that belongs on our collective bookshelves; in our collective hearts and libraries. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Another Place at the Table is the story of a family who progress from adopting two children in need to becoming full time/overtime/all the time foster parents of handfuls of children with major 'issues.' But more than that, it's a story of the social services quagmire, the birth mothers of these kids, and the kids themselves.
Of interest to all who like the truth in human interest stories.
And besides that, it's well written. Read it, and pass it on to a friend. Or better yet, buy two copies and GIVE one to a friend.

My husband and I are currently attending training to become foster parents for a Christian agency. This book wasn't recommended as part of our classes, but it should have been! I stumbled onto it accidentally while buying a book written from a foster child's perspective, called _Three Little Words_, and I'm so glad I did. Three Little Words: A Memoir

This is a loving yet scathingly honest look at the author's experiences as a foster parent but also of the quite-broken system and its changes over the years that she parented. I read this book at the same time that I read the foster child's book, putting one down only to pick up the other's, and I have to admit that it gave me a bleak overview of what really goes on. The author took in some very damaged kids, and quite a few at one time, and was truly out there on the front lines.

Her compassion for them and her determination to keep going no matter what was asked of her makes this a must-read for anybody wanting to be a foster parent. Our agency, being Christian, tells us that our parenting will be a ministry, and this book really brings home that point. We should all strive to the love and selflessness that the author manages.

Reading this book really affected me and has caused me to more strongly desire to become a foster parent, but it may do the opposite for you. It's good to get a glimpse of what we're in for, though.

Note: This is not a book written from a Christian viewpoint. The slant that way is soley my own.

Being a foster parent myself for almost four years, I know how difficult it can sometimes be to explain to others what my world is like. Kathy Harrison was right on the mark with this book. It was consistent, educational and emotional. It brought so many of the "zany" parts of foster parenting together and made it real for others. Kudos Kathy, I hope this book encourages many others to join us on the zany ride!