Top critical review
8 people found this helpful
try reading a book instead.
on May 7, 2013
Sigh... another movie by Bill Zebub that was like pulling teeth to get though. Can you believe that? I cannot fathom how he keeps making films. He's made over twenty to date (look on IMDb). I think that his friends and people that act for him are the only ones that buy his films, thus giving him just enough money to get another one made. How else can you explain such trash getting made over and over again?
Antfarm Dickhole is a mess calling itself a movie. Its plot, if you want to call it that, is about a guy that is bullied. That is, until his dickhole is invaded by army ants. Then, every time someone starts to pick on him, the ants come out to protect their host and kill the person bullying him. He decides to get revenge on people that have bullied him in the past, so he goes around, letting the ants (which are actually toy store plastic ants) kill the people he hates. He is eventually abandoned by the ants, and he goes nuts, brandishing a gun while going on a short lived killing spree before someone else (who spouts off about the great right the innocent have to bear arms) does him in. The end.
I've ruined nothing about the movie. Actually I've probably saved you 90 minutes of your life that you could be doing something more enjoyable, like watching paint dry, or pushing toothpicks under your fingernails.
Let's start with the horrible. We have horrible metal music, horrible acting, horrible special effects, and horrible editing. Now let's get to the pun. Since the movie title has the word ant in the title, the characters spend the whole movie putting ant in front of as many words as possible in the script. We have, ANT-achronism, ANT-gela, ANT-tony, ANT-drew, ANT-marie, and they even use the computer to look stuff up on the ANT-ternet. The only time I got a snicker was a completely unintentional scene where a guy is digging a hole in the dirt with a snow shovel. I have no idea why that struck me as funny, but for some reason it did. Maybe the cracks were starting to show from trying to watch this movie.
Bill Zebub is in usual form once again in this movie, padding out its length with random (not so great looking) nude women trying to look sexy. He's also at it with trying to correct everyone's language mistakes. He seems to be preaching about whatever is bothering him in the world at any given moment. And if he's not doing it, someone else in the movie is doing it for him. Completely annoying, and a waste of film. It seems as if Bill must use the first (maybe only) take for every scene, as flubbed lines are left right in along with the rest of the mess he calls a movie. Once again you can (obviously) see by the title that Bill is trying to be offensive to get attention for his causes. It's not offensive. It's stupid. His comments on society may be valid, but his means of getting them to the public are these terrible wastes of time he calls films. Maybe he should try writing a book instead. As far as this movie goes, try reading a book instead. 0/10.