Customer Reviews

Get Anyone To Do Anything And Never Feel Powerless Again : Psychological secrets to predict, control, and influence every situation

5 star:		(72)
4 star:		(33)
3 star:		(20)
2 star:		(17)
1 star:		(19)

 

 

This is a derivative work with script added, that builds on the psychological research of others. That approach can be beneficial, as long as you color between the lines.

Lieberman promises you the moon. "This book contains only specific psychological tactics governing human behavior that will let you outsmart, outthink, and out maneuver . . . anyone, any place, anytime." After reading the book, I beg to differ. No book, and not this one, can do that much.

If you are familiar with neuro-linguistic programming, Tony Robbins' work, and Robert Cialdini's work (Influence), you will find almost nothing new here.

As usual, I watched closely to see what Lieberman would have to say about manipulation. His strongest argument is that everyone wants to help everyone else, and you are just making it easier for them to help you. Hmmm! Are you persuaded? If you are, rate the book a little higher.

I thought several of the scripts were flawed, but many were quite good. The main problem related to being manipulative. But each of us has our own standards. If you are an unethical person looking to take advantage of someone, the methods in this book would often work all right for you.

Frankly, I prefer the more balanced approach of Stephen Covey and Robert Cialdini in addressing when and where psychological tools can and should be used.

The book is well done for what it is. If you don't share my concern about manipulation, be sure to read it. If you fear being manipulated, then be doubly sure to read it. Someone is bound to use these scripts on you at some time or other. Reading the book will be a good vaccine. Then you can resist what is truly not in your favor.

Ok, think for a minute. Get "anyone" to do "anything." Wow! "Never feel powerless again!" Never ever! "With psychological secrets" (ooooh, science) "to control and influence every situation!" Every single one! Imagine, you can be a god!

If the title doesn't alert you to the fact, there is a lot of overstatement in this book. A lot. From the title to the last sentence, it never stops, it never gets less ridiculous.

On the other hand, check out that subtitle again: "Never Feel Powerless Again." Do you often feel powerless? If so, you will probably learn a lot from this book. Actually, the book is full of sound advice, insight into human relationships straight from actual academic psychological research. Even if you don't feel powerless often, you will probably find some decent tips in here that will improve your relationships with other people.

I'm not sure which to emphasize: the fact that there is a lot of sound advice, or the fact that this author is clearly a salesman targeting socially insecure people and promising them more than he (or anyone) can ever deliver.

It's not bad advice, but it is bad form.

Anyway, if you think you could benefit from reading this book, you probably could. It helps me to browse it every so often, reviewing some of the principles he discusses.

I never thought I'd say that about a psychologist. In fact the more I re-read it (the title I gave these comments) I'm shocked. I don't usually like them. My impression of them is that they listen to people who have no one to talk to and rape them for their cash (which I find reprehensible). BUT. This guy has done excellent research (my hats off). These are the things I loved about his book:

1. The purpose of the book is not to control and manipulate like the title suggests, but rather to illuminate.

2. It's packed with information (short 2-3 page chapters, summaries of the important points at the end: I.E. you can skip the verbage and go straight for the bullet points.)

3. It's obviously correct. Although years of testing and observation produced the conclusions in this book, common sense validates the results. And these aren't the kinds of things you could figure out without his book.

4. It could seriously fix a broken relationship or start a new one with nearly anyone.

Here's an example (I'd normally feel guilty giving examples, but the man has tons):
When you suspect someone of lying present them with a conundrum. The purpose is not to listen to the response but to observe the behavior. Specifically, if your husband tells you he went to the movies with friends. Mention "Oh yeah, I heard that the reason for all of the traffic after work was because of the car accident near the movie theatre. Did you see it?" This creates a stun effect. Two conditions must be met. 1) Heavy Traffic 2) A car accident. If he really went to the movies the response would blurt out, but if he didn't he has to be careful with his answer and he hesitates.

I noticed this book at a bookstore, browsed through it, and was surprised to see some useful content. I bought it, then browsed in greater detail. Some of the information will be valuable in situations similar to the ones mentioned in the book. Some of the information will remain useless.

I would rate this book with 3 stars; however, something irks me about this book. Every chapter -- and I'm not exaggerating -- every stinking chapter refers to mythical "studies" that are never referenced elsewhere. The phrases "Studies suggest...", "many studies say..." and "Studies have show that..." litter the book. Lieberman uses this ploy to make his opinions appear legitimize. This cheap trick does not go unnoticed.

Because Lieberman uses the tricks of a con artist, I cannot bring myself to recommend this book to anyone. While I did find value in some of the information, I don't appreciate being snowed.

Imagine yourself with the "upper hand" in almost any given situation. Dr. Lieberman shows you how with this excellent treatise on the psychology of influence and persuasion. Using an ecclectic collection of techniques, including a couple of NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) techniques, you will truly learn how to never be taken advantage of again. Having nothing to do with manipulation, Dr. Lieberman's methods make use of skills and situations we all encounter every day in practically every interaction we have with others.

If you are concerned that using these techniques is "unethical" or "cheating" in some way, you can let that concern simply dissolve away *right now* because, as Dr. Lieberman points out, you're playing games anyway, you might as well play to win! Even if you don't *use these skills*, you will instantly be able to spot them when someone else is using them to influence you. This is a book you shouldn't be without!!

Some of my favorite chapters are:

Chapter 1 "Get Anyone to Like You...Every Time" Chapter 2 "Get Anyone to Find You Irresistibly Attractive" Chapter 9 "How to Tell if Someone Is Trying to Manipulate You" Chapter 24 "Get Anyone to Return Your Phone Call Immediately" Chapter 31 "Stop Verbal Abuse Instantly" Chapter 37 "Get Anyone to Confide in You and Confess Anything"

and most especially,

Chapter 40 "Get Out of Almost Any Physical or Sexual Assault"

This chapter alone could save your life or the life of a loved one, on just one reading through.

The book is organized into 40 "mini-chapters" with the material presented in a friendly, readable style condensed into the tightest possible learning units. This revolutionary approach to teaching these revolutionary skills help you to instantly digest the material at the unconscious level and make them immediately available for your use. Not at all technical or clinical in approach, I'm sure you will be delightfully surprised at the simplicity and effectiveness of these methods, just as I was.

Simply excellent! Get it today without a second thought. :-D

Imagine yourself with the "upper hand" in almost any given situation. Dr. Lieberman shows you how with this excellent treatise on the psychology of influence and persuasion. Using an ecclectic collection of techniques, including a couple of NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) techniques, you will truly learn how to never be taken advantage of again. Having nothing to do with manipulation, Dr. Lieberman's methods make use of skills and situations we all encounter every day in practically every interaction we have with others.

If you are concerned that using these techniques is "unethical" or "cheating" in some way, you can let that concern simply dissolve away *right now* because, as Dr. Lieberman points out, you're playing games anyway, you might as well play to win! Even if you don't *use these skills*, you will instantly be able to spot them when someone else is using them to influence you. This is a book you shouldn't be without!!

Some of my favorite chapters are:

Chapter 1 "Get Anyone to Like You...Every Time"
Chapter 2 "Get Anyone to Find You Irresistibly Attractive"
Chapter 9 "How to Tell if Someone Is Trying to Manipulate You"
Chapter 24 "Get Anyone to Return Your Phone Call Immediately"
Chapter 31 "Stop Verbal Abuse Instantly"
Chapter 37 "Get Anyone to Confide in You and Confess Anything"

and most especially,

Chapter 40 "Get Out of Almost Any Physical or Sexual Assault"

This chapter alone could save your life or the life of a loved one, on just one reading through.

The book is organized into 40 "mini-chapters" with the material presented in a friendly, readable style condensed into the tightest possible learning units. This revolutionary approach to teaching these revolutionary skills help you to instantly digest the material at the unconscious level and make them immediately available for your use. Not at all technical or clinical in approach, I'm sure you will be delightfully surprised at the simplicity and effectiveness of these methods, just as I was.

Simply excellent! Get it today without a second thought. :-D

In Chapter 7, "The Six-Star Test to See if Someone is a True Friend," David Lieberman says about Loyalty: "Tell a secret about a mutual friend and see if it gets back to him or her. True friends know the value of trust in a relationship. Just make sure that you get the permission of your friend to tell her secret ot this other person."

For someone who is trying to establish trust, doing such a manipulative, underhanded thing is hardly trustworthy behavior that will enable one to build a sound and lasting friendship - permission or not. Being a true friend is about giving, not about testing and conspiring. Being vulnerable to someone is one of the risks of establishing a friendship - I'd rather find out the hard way that I misjudged someone than sink to the sneaky and contemptible nadir that Lieberman suggests.

Incidentally, my teenaged children were equally horrified by Lieberman's "techniques."

I bought this book on impulse (along with some other, unrelated books). I was on a book buying spree! And this book was definately not the first book I intended to read.

But when I got home and laid all the books out on my bed it seemed to stand out from the others. Okay, I thought. I'll read a few pages of that one, even though it's not the one I want to read right now.

But wham! No sooner had I started reading the first page, than I dropped the book, grabbed a pen and paper to take notes, and began reading again.. in earnest. (It was that good.)

The next day, after reading only two chapters, I applied just one of the techniques in Chapter 1 (I wanted to try more but didn't feel like I got the chance). Specifically, I tried to smile at a girl who works at my gym when I came in.. but I goofed up. I'm not a big smiler, so that's not suprising. However, on the way out I tried it again and did it. She wasn't smiling when she looked up, but when she saw my grin and heard my happy, "Bye!" her whole face lit up. That's all it took. I was shocked. Man did her face brighten. And she smiled! It was like night and day (compared to all the other times I'd just kind of slinked out the gym).

So I dedicded to try it again on the guy who fixes our printer at work, only this time I nailed my smile when he came in and when he left. You should have seen what it did to him. When he came in he was down, face aimed at his feet. When he left, I saw him look at me (something he never does - ever) and I hit him with a smile and said, "See ya!" His whole face just burst into a big grin. It was incredible. I mean, this guy has Never smiled at me in over a year.

It may sound simple and silly, or even obvious, but if you knew me, the people I'm talking about, and their usual reactions to me.. you would be excited too!

I can't wait to try more stuff tomorrow.

My people skills have been wanting for a long time. I've known that. It's a problem I've been struggling to correct. Others have told me it isn't an issue. But I know me, and I know something just hasn't been right with they way people react to me. This book kind of jumped off the shelf at my when I saw it.

People smile at me sometimes but I could never figure out why it wasn't all the time. Already, I have a pretty good idea why.

If you want people to like you more and you don't know what to do about it or where to start, I recommend trying this book. I'm really excited about it because I know it's going to help for sure.

-Dan

David J. Lieberman, Ph.D. is a recognized expert in the field of human behavior. With multiple books translated in multiple languages this is yet another fine example of his ability to give sound advice in a down to earth and useful manner. He divides the book into the five following general sections.

Section 1 relates to building rapport both instant rapport and keeping it over long periods. It covers everything from first impressions, to getting someone to like you, to appearing confident, and many other items.

Section 2 relates to detecting if someone is lying or manipulating you.

Section 3 relates to taking control of a situation and getting people to actually do something. Getting someone to actually take your advice, follow through on a commitment, do a favor, get along together, etc. are all covered in this section.

Section 4 relates to winning at a competition. Possible competitions include not only a game but job interviews, dating and similar.

Section 5 relates to dealing with life's normal annoying, difficult situations. For example, people who won't return phone calls, forgiveness, breaking bad news, dealing with rumors, dealing with a complaint, dealing with jealousy, etc.

It is easy to read the title to the book and assume that inside are the secrets to manipulating others and allowing you to take advantage of them. This is not the case at all as Dr. Lieberman starts on page one with the comment that these techniques are not "ways to manipulate other people into liking you". Are you going to get someone who can't stand your personality to suddenly like you and stand in line for the opportunity to do you a favor? Not likely. However, in the hectic world of today just getting someone to slow down enough to even notice you can be quite a chore. This sort of situation is where these techniques are valuable.

Also if you feel manipulated by someone and don't know how to avoid it or get out of the trap then the information can be very valuable. Recognizing when you are not in control of your own desires is the first step to changing the situation. This book can help you to understand what is happening and why you feel the way you do and then it goes one step further in showing you how you can change the situation.

The bottom line is that everyone should know these techniques not only so that they can recognize when they are being manipulated and can do something about it, but also so they can tell when strong feelings are not what they seem but are the result of some basic principle such as the law of association or reciprocal affection or something similar. How to make a good impression, how to change a bad one, how to stop being manipulated, how to regain control of your life, how to handle the problems of life, how to examine your feelings about someone and know if you really feel positive (or negative) about them or if it is just the normal reaction to various stimuli, it is all pretty much here in this book. If there were a great book that gave an overview of these principles this one is it. There are other great books that deal with one or two of these topics in greater detail, but none that I have read that expose you to the whole gamut of psychological principles with persuading, motivating, or getting others to at least accept your opinion as valid. A must on the bookshelf of anyone but the most recalcitrant hermit.

Well... not completely naked, but Lieberman is certainly running around in his underwear! Dr. Lieberman spouts proven NLP techniques whithout any examples, excercises or cautionary words that change does take time and effort! Therefore it highly unlikely that any reader of this book can make a change in their outlook, habits or anything else IN THE LONG RUN! If one truly wants to Get Anyone to to Anything (even yourself) there is far superior material out there: from the simplest, yet very detailed Mindworks, by Anne Linden which truly shows you how to get the power to choose between kneejerk reactions and what you'd like to do, to the many NLP books written or edited by John O'Connor and finally to the "sources" themselves, The Structure of Magic, by Richard Bandler and John Grinderthe founders of NLP. Eloquence, change in habits, change in outlookthe achievement of excellence take more than 15 minutes in involve "work" on our part and we, as the "instant gratification" nation, don't like to hear this. ( Do you honestly think that Tiger Woods just "wills" the ball into the cup? He does, but also practices 5 hours a day! )Dr. Lieberman panders to that mindset and that is why his book, not the others mentioned, is the bestseller. Our loss, his gain. Very sad! Shame on me that I fell for the title and bought this book.