Parents have the greatest privilege of their lives literally in front of them everyday: their children. Pointing their children to Christ, modeling faith, encouraging with words, and showing unfailing love isn t a burden. It s a privilege. Apparent Privilege will arm parents with biblical understanding and up-to-the-minute research to show them the unparalleled opportunity they have to be the primary influence of their children. It will give parents a biblical view of parenting, answer questions and concerns we all have, and help them understand how Christian parenting must become more than taking your children to church. In short, this book will equip a parent live a life where the difference is apparent.
Browse our Bookshelf Favorites store for big savings on popular fiction, nonfiction, children's books, and more. |
Book Description
Editorial Reviews
Review
This book is a gift to Christian parents and to all who labor in hope that the next generations will put their confidence in God. Steve understands the crucial and indispensable role that parents have in pursuing this hope and serves us well with his experience, research and Bible-saturated insight and wisdom. --David Michael, Bethlehem Baptist Church (Minneapolis, MN)
With reThink, Steve Wright invited churches to reconsider youth ministry from a radically biblical worldview. In his latest book, ApParent Privilege, Steve takes the next step, inviting parents to reclaim their uniquely powerful, God-ordained role as the primary faith-shapers for their children. Laced with Scripture, stories and up-to-the-minute statistics, ApParent Privilege promises to prepare parents for the most important task of their lives. --Mark DeVries, author of Family-Based Youth Ministry (Nashville, TN)
With all of the 'clanging cymbals and resounding gongs' Steve Wright encourages us that the language of love, grace and truth needs to be continuous and apparent from our tongues to our children. Steve is guiding dads and moms back to their God-given privilege of being voices crying in the wilderness leading our children to the Savior through His Word. I was convicted that abdication of my responsibility to teach the Word of God to my children is spiritual desertion! --Kevin Carroll, The Church of Brook Hills (Birmingham, AL)
With reThink, Steve Wright invited churches to reconsider youth ministry from a radically biblical worldview. In his latest book, ApParent Privilege, Steve takes the next step, inviting parents to reclaim their uniquely powerful, God-ordained role as the primary faith-shapers for their children. Laced with Scripture, stories and up-to-the-minute statistics, ApParent Privilege promises to prepare parents for the most important task of their lives. --Mark DeVries, author of Family-Based Youth Ministry (Nashville, TN)
With all of the 'clanging cymbals and resounding gongs' Steve Wright encourages us that the language of love, grace and truth needs to be continuous and apparent from our tongues to our children. Steve is guiding dads and moms back to their God-given privilege of being voices crying in the wilderness leading our children to the Savior through His Word. I was convicted that abdication of my responsibility to teach the Word of God to my children is spiritual desertion! --Kevin Carroll, The Church of Brook Hills (Birmingham, AL)
About the Author
Steve serves as Pastor of Student Ministries at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC. Steve has served in student ministry since 1988 and joined the team at Providence in May of 1999. He received a Master of Arts degree in Christian education from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. His undergraduate degree is from Carson Newman College in Jefferson City, Tenn. Steve is also the current president of the Metro Association of Student Ministers whose members represent some of the largest student ministries in the United States. In 1997 Steve started InQuest Ministries, which supplies Sunday School and Discipleship curriculum to thousands of churches worldwide. Steve and his wife, Tina, were married in 1989. They are blessed with three children - Sara, William and Tyler.
Product Details
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images? |
More About the Author
Steve is the author of reThink and ApParent Privilege and is Assistant Pastor of Student Ministries at Providence Baptist Church. Steve has served in student ministry since 1988 and joined the team at Providence in May of 1999. He is currently working on his PhD in Philosophy of Family Ministry at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He received a Master of Arts degree in Christian education from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. His undergraduate degree is from Carson Newman College in Jefferson City, TN. Steve and his wife, Tina, were married in 1989. They are blessed with three children - Sara, William and Tyler.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
If you haven't heard the news, the youth of the church are not becoming the men & women of the church. Multiple studies show that most teens who are active in church lose their faith within a few years of leaving home. It's not the "bad" kids, but the "good" ones, the ones leading worship and going on mission trips, yours & mine, that graduate from church as they graduate from high school & college.
What's the problem, and how do we fix it, for our own children & all those in the church?
That's the question that many leaders & parents are wrestling with in the church today. A few years ago youth pastors and parents Steve Wright & Chris Graves wrote ReThink, a book that sent shock waves through the evangelical community. In ReThink they persuasively argued that business-as-usual youth ministry was not the answer to the failure of the church to see the youth of the church through to maturity. Now, their in new book ApParent Privilege they say that business-as-usual parenting is not the answer either.
The book starts out with the testimony of a father:
We truly believed that if we could find a good youth program and keep our children active, then they would continue to serve Christ... our two adult children now in their thirties are no longer walking with Christ... I wish that someone would have told us that the responsibility of discipling our children was ours, not a pastor's. I wish we would have known.
That, in a nutshell, is this book: your church, your youth program, your children's Sunday School teachers or youth ministers have neither the ability nor the responsibility to grow & mature your children's faith. Only you do.
But how? That is what the book deals with, giving both a theological foundation and lots of practical advice. He starts by laying out that, despite appearances, most teens really do listen to their parents and desire a mentoring relationship with them. He then moves on to a Biblical theology & foundation of parenting, and what should make Christian parenting unique and distinctive from what is commonly practiced in our culture. There are also practical chapters on how the church can help parents, specific tasks and tools for parenting, the role of fathers, and encouragement for parents dealing with a prodigal.
ApParent Privilege is well-written, thought-provoking, and practical. Every parent and church leader will gain both healthy perspective & sound advice by reading it.
What's the problem, and how do we fix it, for our own children & all those in the church?
That's the question that many leaders & parents are wrestling with in the church today. A few years ago youth pastors and parents Steve Wright & Chris Graves wrote ReThink, a book that sent shock waves through the evangelical community. In ReThink they persuasively argued that business-as-usual youth ministry was not the answer to the failure of the church to see the youth of the church through to maturity. Now, their in new book ApParent Privilege they say that business-as-usual parenting is not the answer either.
The book starts out with the testimony of a father:
We truly believed that if we could find a good youth program and keep our children active, then they would continue to serve Christ... our two adult children now in their thirties are no longer walking with Christ... I wish that someone would have told us that the responsibility of discipling our children was ours, not a pastor's. I wish we would have known.
That, in a nutshell, is this book: your church, your youth program, your children's Sunday School teachers or youth ministers have neither the ability nor the responsibility to grow & mature your children's faith. Only you do.
But how? That is what the book deals with, giving both a theological foundation and lots of practical advice. He starts by laying out that, despite appearances, most teens really do listen to their parents and desire a mentoring relationship with them. He then moves on to a Biblical theology & foundation of parenting, and what should make Christian parenting unique and distinctive from what is commonly practiced in our culture. There are also practical chapters on how the church can help parents, specific tasks and tools for parenting, the role of fathers, and encouragement for parents dealing with a prodigal.
ApParent Privilege is well-written, thought-provoking, and practical. Every parent and church leader will gain both healthy perspective & sound advice by reading it.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Steve Wright, youth pastor of 20 years and father of 3, has made a valuable contribution to my family...and to the church as well.
Bringing parents and church leaders back to our biblical roots of discipleship being driven by both pedals of the family and church bicycle, Wright calls for balance that is sorely lacking in our families today.
He clarion call, however, is to parents to reclaim the responsibility and privilege we have to discipline our children in the training of the Lord.
He includes foundational principles, practical ideas and even a short job description for dads. He did a good job of challenging me as a father without pummeling me with a spiritual hammer. I came away with a new resolve to better father my girls and lead my family to be fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I also was spurred on to teach this to parents at our church.
I believe this is a book every parent or parent to-be should read and take to heart. It's substantive but not overwhelming. It's intelligent without being overly academic. I love Steve's passion for the family and the local church. A great treasure here.
There is also small group or Sun. school curriculum available. You can get a sample and check it out.
I believe this perspective will shape our preschool, children and youth ministries at our church for years to come. It's that important. I look forward to reading the sequel ReThink.
Bringing parents and church leaders back to our biblical roots of discipleship being driven by both pedals of the family and church bicycle, Wright calls for balance that is sorely lacking in our families today.
He clarion call, however, is to parents to reclaim the responsibility and privilege we have to discipline our children in the training of the Lord.
He includes foundational principles, practical ideas and even a short job description for dads. He did a good job of challenging me as a father without pummeling me with a spiritual hammer. I came away with a new resolve to better father my girls and lead my family to be fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I also was spurred on to teach this to parents at our church.
I believe this is a book every parent or parent to-be should read and take to heart. It's substantive but not overwhelming. It's intelligent without being overly academic. I love Steve's passion for the family and the local church. A great treasure here.
There is also small group or Sun. school curriculum available. You can get a sample and check it out.
I believe this perspective will shape our preschool, children and youth ministries at our church for years to come. It's that important. I look forward to reading the sequel ReThink.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By A. DeFalco
Format:Hardcover
In their follow-up book, Steve Wright and Chris Graves dive deeper into the parent element of their Rethink strategy. When Wright first asked us to rethink youth ministry, it was his way of swinging the pendulum back toward the direction of the parent's role in discipling their teens.
Rethink, however, wasn't written to parents. It was written to Youth workers/pastors. ApParent Privilege is the "parent version" of the Rethink philosophy.
The pastor at my church had our deacons read Rethink and when they gave their approval, we bought all of our parents their own copy for them to read. I wish now that I had waited just a few more months until this handy little book came out. Giving out Rethink caused some momentary confusion among our parents. After all, why would we give them a book written to youth pastors and not parents?
I do not know how many countless books there are on parenting. Even Christian parenting books must range in the hundreds. So, why bother with this one? Because Steve Wright does a brilliant job of connecting some dots that other parenting books do not and he overlaps the different aspects of parenting that other books tend to shy away from.
Some books look at parenting from a "culture commentary" point of view. Others go the theological route and discuss only the Biblical text. Most parenting books, however, spend their time giving you nothing but practical advice with little cultural or theological content. This is where ApParent Privilege is different: it does all three. The first part of the book is mostly commentary on where our American culture is in its attempt at parenting. The second part digs into scripture and gives us a solid foundation of what it means to be both the primary evangelizer and primary discipler of your own children. Finally, the third part gives the reader practical tips that help flesh out all of these concepts.
So, what are the pros and cons?
Pros:
Wright says some stuff here that I've always thought and now it's finally in print for me to share with others.
For example:
Shifting Adolescences: On page 38, Wright addresses the cultural shift in understanding when we go from being an adolescent to an adult. I see far too many young dads in my neighborhood that still dress, act, and spend money on stuff that makes me think they never made it out of their childhood. And women, as Wright points out, are no longer immune to this mentality either. This has a tremendous impact on families. People are getting married later which causes them to want less children. And don't think they give up their adolescent ways when they get married either. (When I read this chapter, I thought of that commercial where the wife has a couple of kids but doesn't want any more so she can do the stuff she's always wanted to do like take that trip to Paris or finish that book- finish a sentence! It's like, "Kids are great, but any more of them will just get in the way".)
A theology of the family centers around the gospel: Wright said, "Christian marriage makes a strong statement about the Gospel to our kids, our spouses, and the world." Amen to that! I have many relatives who are good, church-going Christians but utterly failed at marriage and after growing up with some of my cousins, I see the wreckage that's left behind. They still claim Christ but their children do not. On the other hand, Christian parents have a FRONT ROW SEAT to seeing God transform their child's life through their Godly witness at home. Quoting the Swiss educator, Johann Pestalozzi, he said, "The best way for a child to learn about God, is to know a real Christian."
Revisiting the Shema: The Shema can be found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Wright asks a piercing question, "As you open up God's Word, who do you find that God has put in place to be the primary discipler of children?" Just by asking the question, any parent should be immediately humbled and willing to mine the scriptures in search for a complete view of the Shema.
Not settling for being successful in America's eyes: Many parents only want one thing for their kids: for them to have it better than they did when they were a teenager. As in better, career, more financial stability, etc. Another convicting question that Wright asks: "What if 'better off' a better hunger and thirst for righteousness?"
Reminding folks that he is just another dad (and not a Bill Gothard clone): On page 7 3 Wright said, "You may ask: Are his kids normal? Just so you know our kids do live in the real world."
About 10 months has passed since I read and reviewed Rethink. Since that time, Steve Wright actually read the review on-line and looked me up on facebook. Eventually, we ended talking many times on the phone until I could get away for the weekend and join him and his family for a couple of days. I went to church with them, ate lunch and dinner with them (and some awesome banana pudding), and attended one of his son's golf tournaments. Although I only got a snapshot of life in the Wright house, I got just enough of a glimpse to say without a doubt that the Wright family are not the Von Traps. They are NORMAL.
He then spends the rest of the chapter talking about how a parent can engage their kids in real life stuff, yet still be a Godly parent.
Understanding the difference between parenting a child versus parenting an older teen: This is another one of those moments where I thought, "Thank you Lord for having someone with more experience than me put this into writing! I have been saying for years to both peers and older parents that you cannot treat your almost-grown teenager like a child. You shouldn't even refer to them as child. Adult or adult-in-training is better suited. Wright rightly says that parents need help transitioning from parent to adult friend. On a personal note, I feel like my parents did a wonderful job in making that transition when I graduated high school and I experienced the benefits of it first hand.
Practical Tips: One of my main complaints about Rethink was that there wasn't enough practical advice for us to hang our hats on. Not so with this book. The last two chapters are chalk full of advice on how to flesh out these principles. Here's the list just to whet your appetite:
1. Family Worship (or better known as Family Devotions)
2. Praying as a family
3. Serving as a family
4. Passage trips
5. Journaling
6. Journey days
7. Family dinnertime
This chapter (Parenting Tools) is worth the price of the book for me. Lord willing, as my daughter gets older, I will implement these in our family life.
Cons:
A bit too gimmicky: This may be just a pet peeve of mine, but I think Wright repeated the word "apparent" at least 30 times in the book and it's a short book. I get the idea behind the way the book was published (to throw itself into the fray of other popular books like it) but if you're like me and you just want the meat and potatoes, little stuff like that will get to you. :)
Needed a chapter for moms: Wright dedicates the last chapter for fathers, but I'd like to have seen Steve's wife, Tina, write a chapter at the end for mothers. Steve, if the book ever goes back for a reprint, get Tina to write the last chapter!
Steve Wright will probably want to rewrite the entire book in ten years: Someone once told me that if you want to write a book on parenting, it's best to wait until the kids are grown and gone, otherwise your personal family life may prove the premise of your book wrong. Wright's children are still teenagers, so I'm thinking there is still a lot to learn as a parent. On the flip-side, it does give you that "he's in the trenches with us" feel to it. Okay, it's final, he needs to write a second book sometime after 2020!
In closing, whatever was missing from Rethink, has made its way into this book. And as a youth pastor, I do not mind asking my parents to read yet another book by Steve Wright. I highly recommend it!
more on the Rethink philosophy: www. pastordefalco.wordpress. com
Rethink, however, wasn't written to parents. It was written to Youth workers/pastors. ApParent Privilege is the "parent version" of the Rethink philosophy.
The pastor at my church had our deacons read Rethink and when they gave their approval, we bought all of our parents their own copy for them to read. I wish now that I had waited just a few more months until this handy little book came out. Giving out Rethink caused some momentary confusion among our parents. After all, why would we give them a book written to youth pastors and not parents?
I do not know how many countless books there are on parenting. Even Christian parenting books must range in the hundreds. So, why bother with this one? Because Steve Wright does a brilliant job of connecting some dots that other parenting books do not and he overlaps the different aspects of parenting that other books tend to shy away from.
Some books look at parenting from a "culture commentary" point of view. Others go the theological route and discuss only the Biblical text. Most parenting books, however, spend their time giving you nothing but practical advice with little cultural or theological content. This is where ApParent Privilege is different: it does all three. The first part of the book is mostly commentary on where our American culture is in its attempt at parenting. The second part digs into scripture and gives us a solid foundation of what it means to be both the primary evangelizer and primary discipler of your own children. Finally, the third part gives the reader practical tips that help flesh out all of these concepts.
So, what are the pros and cons?
Pros:
Wright says some stuff here that I've always thought and now it's finally in print for me to share with others.
For example:
Shifting Adolescences: On page 38, Wright addresses the cultural shift in understanding when we go from being an adolescent to an adult. I see far too many young dads in my neighborhood that still dress, act, and spend money on stuff that makes me think they never made it out of their childhood. And women, as Wright points out, are no longer immune to this mentality either. This has a tremendous impact on families. People are getting married later which causes them to want less children. And don't think they give up their adolescent ways when they get married either. (When I read this chapter, I thought of that commercial where the wife has a couple of kids but doesn't want any more so she can do the stuff she's always wanted to do like take that trip to Paris or finish that book- finish a sentence! It's like, "Kids are great, but any more of them will just get in the way".)
A theology of the family centers around the gospel: Wright said, "Christian marriage makes a strong statement about the Gospel to our kids, our spouses, and the world." Amen to that! I have many relatives who are good, church-going Christians but utterly failed at marriage and after growing up with some of my cousins, I see the wreckage that's left behind. They still claim Christ but their children do not. On the other hand, Christian parents have a FRONT ROW SEAT to seeing God transform their child's life through their Godly witness at home. Quoting the Swiss educator, Johann Pestalozzi, he said, "The best way for a child to learn about God, is to know a real Christian."
Revisiting the Shema: The Shema can be found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Wright asks a piercing question, "As you open up God's Word, who do you find that God has put in place to be the primary discipler of children?" Just by asking the question, any parent should be immediately humbled and willing to mine the scriptures in search for a complete view of the Shema.
Not settling for being successful in America's eyes: Many parents only want one thing for their kids: for them to have it better than they did when they were a teenager. As in better, career, more financial stability, etc. Another convicting question that Wright asks: "What if 'better off' a better hunger and thirst for righteousness?"
Reminding folks that he is just another dad (and not a Bill Gothard clone): On page 7 3 Wright said, "You may ask: Are his kids normal? Just so you know our kids do live in the real world."
About 10 months has passed since I read and reviewed Rethink. Since that time, Steve Wright actually read the review on-line and looked me up on facebook. Eventually, we ended talking many times on the phone until I could get away for the weekend and join him and his family for a couple of days. I went to church with them, ate lunch and dinner with them (and some awesome banana pudding), and attended one of his son's golf tournaments. Although I only got a snapshot of life in the Wright house, I got just enough of a glimpse to say without a doubt that the Wright family are not the Von Traps. They are NORMAL.
He then spends the rest of the chapter talking about how a parent can engage their kids in real life stuff, yet still be a Godly parent.
Understanding the difference between parenting a child versus parenting an older teen: This is another one of those moments where I thought, "Thank you Lord for having someone with more experience than me put this into writing! I have been saying for years to both peers and older parents that you cannot treat your almost-grown teenager like a child. You shouldn't even refer to them as child. Adult or adult-in-training is better suited. Wright rightly says that parents need help transitioning from parent to adult friend. On a personal note, I feel like my parents did a wonderful job in making that transition when I graduated high school and I experienced the benefits of it first hand.
Practical Tips: One of my main complaints about Rethink was that there wasn't enough practical advice for us to hang our hats on. Not so with this book. The last two chapters are chalk full of advice on how to flesh out these principles. Here's the list just to whet your appetite:
1. Family Worship (or better known as Family Devotions)
2. Praying as a family
3. Serving as a family
4. Passage trips
5. Journaling
6. Journey days
7. Family dinnertime
This chapter (Parenting Tools) is worth the price of the book for me. Lord willing, as my daughter gets older, I will implement these in our family life.
Cons:
A bit too gimmicky: This may be just a pet peeve of mine, but I think Wright repeated the word "apparent" at least 30 times in the book and it's a short book. I get the idea behind the way the book was published (to throw itself into the fray of other popular books like it) but if you're like me and you just want the meat and potatoes, little stuff like that will get to you. :)
Needed a chapter for moms: Wright dedicates the last chapter for fathers, but I'd like to have seen Steve's wife, Tina, write a chapter at the end for mothers. Steve, if the book ever goes back for a reprint, get Tina to write the last chapter!
Steve Wright will probably want to rewrite the entire book in ten years: Someone once told me that if you want to write a book on parenting, it's best to wait until the kids are grown and gone, otherwise your personal family life may prove the premise of your book wrong. Wright's children are still teenagers, so I'm thinking there is still a lot to learn as a parent. On the flip-side, it does give you that "he's in the trenches with us" feel to it. Okay, it's final, he needs to write a second book sometime after 2020!
In closing, whatever was missing from Rethink, has made its way into this book. And as a youth pastor, I do not mind asking my parents to read yet another book by Steve Wright. I highly recommend it!
more on the Rethink philosophy: www. pastordefalco.wordpress. com
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellend read for any parent or future parent alike
This was a great, great, great book. I am married, but am not a parent yet. However, we are definitely planning on having children and this was an excellent resource in preparing... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Zack Ford
5.0 out of 5 stars
Giving ownership back to parents
As a youth pastor I have really enjoyed reading this and Steve Wright's other book. I had tried the traditional youth pastor approach to doing ministry but it didn't work. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Sam P.
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store
If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store.
Learn more
Listmania!
|
|
