Customer Reviews

Ape Canyon

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

First and foremost, this movie looks like something a few semi-drunk frat boys and their girlfriends did for laughs over a weekend.

Roughly what was the budget? Roughly zero. There is no control over lighting, no interesting camera work, and zero talent. No attempt whatsoever was made to hide the fact that the ape suit is a zip-up, rubber-faced, gloved rental. Ridiculous flaws abound: You actualy see the rubber face deform when touched, the gloves and boots are blatantly separate pieces, and some overhead shots show a huge gap most of the lenght of his back where the zipper had come undone. There is a fight scene between three guys and the ape that has to be seen to be believed. I am convinced it's the most laughably bad attempt at acting and filming a fight ever. I mean, ever.

And the horny parts, the entire reason for buying this? Well, he manages to rape/seduce several girls who have wild sex with him while fully clothed, without even a "maybe she took off her pants and they just didn't show it" hint. I mean, their pants are completely on the whole scene. If he's sharp enough to go right through denim jeans, those girls certaily wouldn't end up liking it so much, as they invariably do of course.

And what of the ape's libido? He certainly is a horny one, banging any girl he can find and you even get a great spooge shot when he masturbates in one scene. Best of all, however, is when he gets confused by a woman's, uh, scent on a guy and procedes to have his very wicked way with him. This scene goes on and on and on - I think it's the longest hump scene in the movie, and the only reason it gets the single star above. I mean, how many movies have the guts to show a furry beast humping a guy? For several minutes? And loving it (both of them)? So big kudos for that. We definitely need more creatures doing guys, but sadly no one has the guts but these no-talent "filmmakers."

No kudos for anything else, though. This is just unrelentingly bad, and I suppose it's best saved for parties when you want to play MST3K with your friends, preferably inebriated. Expect zero quality of any kind. Buy as cheaply as possible (or not at all).

but you can sure crap a diamond. That best describes this movie. The cinematography sucks, the sound sucks, the plot sucks, the acting sucks. It was basically made on someone's camcorder. Yet, I love it. Because it's a movie about a sasquatch that indiscriminately rapes human beings, and that makes it an important part of film history. If you're spoiled by "real" cinema and you're addicted to soaring John Williams film scores, happy endings, computer CGIs and Maya graphics, all-star casts, perfect voiceovers, predictable plot and character developments, ummm plots at all, and a disctinct lack of repeated reverse bestial raping, then do not buy this film. But if you enjoy really crappy movies with offensively hilarious pretexts which could have just as easily have been made by your brother's friends from college one weekend while drunk, well, buy it.

did not like this movie at all, not worth the money, did not make sense most of the time. recommend u stay away from it.

Bigfoot is at the end of his evolutionary rope. He is the last of his kind, but his biological clock is ticking. His drive to mate has no recipient in his own species, so he is forced to turn to humans, to fulfill his biological programming.

Here's the thing: He can't tell human women from human men. Hilarity ensues. It's an entertaining train-wreck that is best enjoyed with tongue in cheek, beer in hand, and friends on the couch to assist you in your derision of the production values. I promise you, that like a wrecked train, you will not be able to take your eyes off of this piece, no matter how bad it gets. This work holds a special place in my library.

This is a work of pure comic genius. It is backed by extensive research into the more extreme aspects of the Sasquatch in popular culture, substantiated by Native American lore centuries old. Yes, there is a history of inter-species hominid communality. The soundtrack music constitutes a masterfully applied parody, moving from love-comedy, through pornography, to tragedy. Though made on an obviously low budget, that is part of the point--this film is a satire of human romantic motivation as much as it is of the b-movie bigfoot monster genre. If you meet the filmmaker he will probably give you a promotional t-shirt, which is even cooler than the film. Its climactic ending made me weep.