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Are Those Kids Yours?: American Families With Children Adopted From Other Countries Hardcover – November 30, 1990


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Are Those Kids Yours?: American Families With Children Adopted From Other Countries + The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family + Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Free Press (November 30, 1990)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0029257506
  • ISBN-13: 978-0029257500
  • Product Dimensions: 9.6 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #710,044 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Drawing from her own experiences and those of others who have adopted children from outside the United States, the author here addresses a range of issues arising from the controversial practice. As the single parent of two Korean-born daughters, Register ( Living with Chronic Illness ) is often faced with the query posed in the book's title. How she and other parents help their foreign-born children ease into American society is examined and evaluated. Larger questions, such as the ethics of uprooting children from their heritage, the global issue of wealthy versus poor countries, the racism often encountered by these children, the wrenching issue of the rights of birth parents, are presented in very personal terms. Internationally adoptive parents will find this an empathetic guide.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

As the adoptive mother of two Korean girls, Register has often been presented with this remark, either spoken or implied. Yes, the girls are "hers," now, but the question does bring out some of the practical and ethical issues involved in cross-cultural adoption: are the parents in the wealthier nations "entitled" to raise children left homeless in other parts of the world by poverty or social stigma? Do adoptive parents have a responsibility to their children's birth countries or to other disadvantaged children and their families? What does it mean to "own" a child, anyway, and who can ultimately make that claim? In this sensitive, compassionate guide, Register addresses these and other issues and shows how they are played out in the actual, day-to-day experience of her own and other adoptive families. With the number of these adoptions increasing each year, most public libraries will want to purchase this book.
- Marcia G. Fuchs, Guilford Free Lib., Ct.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 38 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 13, 2000
Format: Hardcover
This book explores many of the practical and ethical issues of adopting internationally and implications this has for newly created multi-racial families. This book will disabuse you of the 'we-are-a-clourblind-family' mentality and discusses very real isues children experience as they grow up in multi-racial families. I found it to be sobering, and I gained new respect for families who decide to take the international adoption route. Many of the stories she relates deal with the well-documented case studies of US-Korean adoptions, so for parents starting out in the adoption process, it is nice to gain insight into how others have handled the situations that are unique to this kind of adoption.
This is a great read, an important read, just sobering at times. Don't adopt internationally without reading this book.
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38 of 40 people found the following review helpful By marared on September 3, 2001
Format: Hardcover
Register's thoughtful discussion of what international adoption can mean to a family and to a child should be a part of the reading list for any family or individual considering adopting internationally. This is not a "how-to" book, and Register specifically recommends that if you are looking for information about the details of adopting from any specific country you should find up-to-date sources that focus on those issues. This book focuses on the life-long implications of international adoption, and helps families think through the meaning of their decisions. Register adresses such issues as these: What does it mean to be an interracial family? What have been the experiences of families who suddenly become the target of comments and stares? What is the experience of a non-adopted sibling when a child of another race is adopted into the family? What are the ethical implications of wealthy (by global standards) Western families adopting children from poorer nations? How can potential parents avoid and detect situations which promote exploitation or coercion of birthparents? How can we help our children develop a meaningful cultural identity without personal experience of part of their cultural heritage? What does it mean to a child to be "rootless" without identifiable genetic heritage? How can our personal experiences as adoptive families help to make a difference in the lives of those siblings and cousins and crib-mates of our child who are still living in orphanages and/or on the street in their home country?
Despite the discussion of some difficult and sobering topics, Register's book comes across as very positive toward international adoption.
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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 27, 2000
Format: Hardcover
We are planning to adopt a baby from Korea, and I found this book very helpful in making that decision. Much of the author's focus is on Korean adoptions, since she adopted her own two daughters from Korea. I loved reading about the history of Korean adoption. The author also details the types of issues that can arise in a transracial/transcultural adoption: family reactions, prejudice, the feelings of the adoptee, etc. In many ways, I found it sobering and I went from being just plain old excited about our adoption plans to really thoughtful about what it would mean for our family. Adopting internationally is not something to take lightly and you cannot adopt and then "pretend" that the child is your birthchild. Adopting internationally requires a willingness to become a mult-cultural family. This book was very effective in getting me to think about if this is what I wanted. Ultimately, we have decided to go ahead, and I feel more confident and knowledgable since reading this book.
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22 of 22 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 21, 1998
Format: Hardcover
This book is wonderfully and sensitively written. The reader is encouraged toward meaningful reflection on the child's experience of growing up in an interracial family. Practical advice, soul-searching questions and obvious pleasure in parenting characterize the issues and stories in this book. You owe it to your child and yourself to read this book. Very helpful for adoption professionals as well.
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 9, 1998
Format: Hardcover
I read this book at the beginning of our journey into International adoption. The book starts with the motivation for international adoption and moves through the stages until Ms. Register concludes with grownup adoptees and their view of the world and themselves. She includes both experiences of over 30 parents and adoptees themselves. She asks thoughtful questions such as "How do you feel about mixed race marriages?" Ms. Register causes one to reflect on issues that may occur in the future. That's what I liked about her writing. I highly recommend this book to everyone considering adopting from another country.
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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on January 24, 2004
Format: Hardcover
This book is an introduction to some of the major issues involved in foreign adoptions. It is written for perspective adoptive parents, their family members and friends. Register takes up each of the major issues in turn, and she has based the book both on her own experience as a mother of two girls adopted from Korea, and on anecdotal interviews with adopted children of various ages and their other family members. She starts the book with the motivations for foreign adoption, from the plight of the abandoned or relinquished children, to the parents whose reasons for adoption may range from altruism to pure selfishness. She goes on to describe how the children may be matched with parents, and then the pivotal event in the families' lives, the moment when the child joins the family. Next comes a discussion of how new family ties are constructed, then methods that various parents have used to inform the child about the adoption experience. As the child grows older, major identity questions come to the fore, and children may choose to seek out their biological parents and homeland. The book closes with a chapter on the global family, in which Register stresses that foreign adoptions should only be seen as temporary measures, while the real goal should be to ensure that every child is able to grow up in his or her homeland with a loving family, enough to eat, and meaningful educational opportunities. At the end of the book is a list of recommended readings for further information, as well as a list of child welfare, advocacy, and adoption organizations.
Register takes up some of the negatives of adoption as well as the positives.
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