Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong [Paperback]

Barbara De Angelis (Author)

Book Description

Release date: May 2, 1994

Finally--the book you've been waiting for to help you find and keep the right partner and make  love last. Best-selling author and renowned  relationship expert Barbara De Angelis reveals everything  you need to know about compatibility and shows you  how to create the fulfilling relationship you  deserve whether you are:

Married, and  wondering if you could be happier.

Single, and  wondering how to avoid another wrong partner.

In love, and wondering whether your partner is the  right one for you.

With powerful advice  and groundbreaking techniques that have helped  thousands of people transform their lives, Dr. De  Angelis will show you the formula for creating love  that lasts, and help you to understand yourself and  the one you love as you never have before.

Discover:
How to avoid making the biggest  mistakes in love.
The six essential qualities  to look for in a mate.
How to spot fatal  flaws in a partner.
How to create the  sexual chemistry you want.
The compatibility  formula to make your relationship work.

Editorial Reviews

From Kirkus Reviews

The bestselling author of Secrets of Men Every Woman Should Know (1990) and How to Make Love All the Time (1987) now dissects bad love choices. Quizzes, lists, and anecdotes render De Angelis's sensible material in easy-to-swallow morsels. Early on, readers are asked to make lists of past lovers' worst qualities and then to write a want ad for a partner, highlighting the common themes (``WANTED: Self- absorbed, damaged loser who has lots of potential and is doing nothing with it....''); and possible roots for these perverse attractions in the childhood family experience are then explored. Readers count off ``the seven wrong reasons to be in a relationship'' (from ``sexual hunger'' to ``emotional or spiritual emptiness''); ``nine fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner'' (addiction, control-freak tendencies, sexual dysfunction); seven compatibility time-bombs, etc. Although the majority of the text deals with negatives, going on the theory that recognizing self- destructive habits is the major step toward overcoming them, De Angelis comments briefly on the attitudes and flexibility necessary for change. Those unsure of whether to commit may value the elaborate self-test offered here, leading to a numerical assessment of compatibility. Given a tolerance for lists and comfort with an approach that precludes subtlety, readers with histories of unhappy relationships may gain insight from this solid, well-organized advice. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Solid, well-organized advice.” –Kirkus

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Dell; Later Printing edition (May 2, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440506700
• ISBN-13: 978-0440506706
• Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.5 x 8.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (138 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #135,638 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars One of the better popular titles that is out there.... October 8, 2006

By Patrick D. Goonan

Format:Mass Market Paperback

This is a good book with lots of practical advise, useful exercises and thought provoking material. It invites you to look at your patterns in relationships and provides good guidelines for avoiding unhealthy people and situations.

I particularly liked the section in this book on the importance of sexual chemistry. This section also includes a useful quiz for determining how much sexual chemistry you have with a partner. This may sound unnecessary, however, this particular quiz goes beyond mere sexual attraction and includes things that reveal sexual connection in the deepest sense of the word.

I don't necessarily agree with everything Barbara De Angelis says, but there is certainly a hefty amount of wisdom between the pages of this book. She is not just telling people what they want to hear either. This makes this title more than just another "feel good" self-help book on relationship.

27 of 30 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars If you're not open to change, forget this book... December 28, 2004

By Gwenevere

Format:Paperback

This book is a wonderful exercise in learning about yourself and why you choose the partners you choose. After my last unsatisfying two-year relationship fizzled, I took the responsibility to figure out what what I was doing to attract all the wrong men (i.e., giving so much for so little return). Initially, after the break-up I spent a year dating without a "guide" thinking I just needed to meet the right one -- but how are you supposed to meet the right one when you don't know who the right one is? Just wanting someone faithful and honest is not enough to guide you. During that time, I found Dr. De Angelis' book and started doing the the different exercises. By the time I read the book and did the exercises, I more or less had a list of traits I NEEDED in a man (things I wasn't willing to compromise on). It was a painful process to realize the man I thought I loved before was so fundamentally wrong for me. I wanted to try and read into his bad behavior that he really care and that Dr. De Angelis was a multi-divorced individual who couldn't possibly be a role-model-and-what-did-she-know-anyway?? I made excuses so I could justify to myself to stay in this bad relationship. Well, fast forward nine years: I have been with the same man continuously for almost eight years and have been married for nearly three years. By the time I met my husband I knew exactly what I was looking for, and lo and behold if he didn't hit every single mark on the list. This isn't to say we didn't have problems, because we certainly have, but I entered into this relationship knowing that I had someone willing to work as hard as I was to make our relationship work.... And for once I have a man who makes our relationship Priority One (above work, family and even kids) because we both know that if our relationship isn't strong we can't help anyone else. For those out there with a negative attitude about this book -- and they were mostly from people already in bad relationships -- I just want to say, the point of this book is to create an awareness of the common warning signs of a bad relationship so you don't get into one to begin with. Too late for some, I guess. Read more ›

31 of 35 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A journey from heartbreak to self-understanding July 12, 2002

By A Customer

Format:Mass Market Paperback

Although I have read a lot of self-help books, I usually scanned them for content, assumed I had mastered them, and put them away. I possess an MSW degree, and I am a writer who specializes in mental health issues, so I always thought that I "knew it all" when it came to understanding the dynamics of relationships. I thought I had figured out how and why I messed up my marriage, and where I had gone wrong with other relationships. Boy, was I mistaken! I had not even begun to fathom the patterns and complexities that led me to make so many poor decisions about men. This book helped me to put these issues into new perspective. I did all the exercises in the book meticulously, and read it thoroughly. It opened my eyes to things about myself I was unwilling to face, or that had simply escaped my attention. I have already avoided entering into some problematic relationships because I'm now aware of the "signals" that troubled men send out, and what these signals appeal to in me. I think I'm ready for a healthy relationship, and will know how to recognize one when it comes along.

54 of 70 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Teaches you how to avoid problematic people/relationships June 18, 2001

By MISTER SJEM TOP 500 REVIEWER

Format:Mass Market Paperback

When I broke up with my girlfriend, I decided I was going to do things differently; first, I would spot warning signs earlier and second, I would be conscious of my own shortcomings which needed work. So, rather than be the typical guy who never tries to get advice, I decided to read several books with varying opinions.

One of the things I like about this book is that it has a huge list of problematic people and how to spot their symptoms. Personally, I feel this is classic b/c it's a lot harder to get out of a relationship with a problem person once you're emotionally involved with them.

How many people have gotten involved with lovers who were emotionally closed off? How many got involved with a lover addicted to drugs or food or something else which took away from the relationship? How about a rageaholic who would explode and make you walk on eggs? How about someone who was still recovering from child abuse? How about a control freak? How about those who got involved with someone who was married?

If you read this book, you could very well save yourself years from getting involved with someone who isn't ready for a relationship or who has subtle flaws which aren't entirely noticeable until you are emotionally involved with the person.

Overall, a 4 1/2 star book. It also has a great section about finding the right type of person and an exercise chart at the back to figure out what you want and how to spot it.

Best of luck.