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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Paperback – December 29, 2009


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery Books; 1 Reprint edition (December 29, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1416596364
  • ISBN-13: 978-1416596363
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (985 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #7,324 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Handler proves the adage that just because one can, doesn't mean one should. This applies to both her role as a writer and a narrator. In this disjointed collection of memories and experiences, even her overenthusiastic voice cannot compensate for the irrelevance and frivolousness that is this book. Her anecdotes cover a range of topics from sex to sibling rivalry to parental humiliation, all showcasing how smart and witty she can be-in hindsight. Whether rambling about how she's freaked out by red-headed men or bemoaning her arrest and short stint in prison, her attempts to be funny fall flat and her valley-girl persona wears quickly on listeners. Her lively voice has the potential to do well with audiobooks, but the overall tone and ecstatic energy she emits only emphasizes the inconsequential prose. Listeners might find themselves asking for Vodka to help reach the end of this production. A Simon & Schuster hardcover.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

Review

"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds."

-- Jennifer Weiner, bestselling author of In Her Shoes

"Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin...She seems like a cruel queen bee from an expensive college: There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how her jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers's bad-girl school: Tina Fey."

-- New York Times

"Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler's life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is. She is too clever for words."

-- Liz Smith, New York Post

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer."

-- Jay Leno

More About the Author

Chelsea Handler is an accomplished stand-up comic and actress, as well as the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. She is the star of her own late-night show on E!, Chelsea Lately; was one of the stars of Girls Behaving Badly; has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Late Night with David Letterman; and has starred in her own half-hour Comedy Central special. Chelsea makes regular appearances in comedy clubs across America and lives in Los Angeles.

Customer Reviews

I literally was laughing out loud when reading this book.
Shanna C. Brown
I didn't have a problem with the language, the off-color humor or any of the "offensive" things that were said in the book - it was just boring and not funny.
Vince A.
I highly recommend both of her books to anyone looking for a fun summer read.
T. Parian

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

302 of 337 people found the following review helpful By D. Buxman TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on April 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I actually bought this book for my wife, since she had enjoyed Chelsea Handler's previous book, "My Horizontal Life." When the book arrived yesterday, I picked it up to peruse it and I couldn't put it down. This book is laugh-out-loud funny. The book contains stories from the author's life from around the age of 9 through adulthood that are funny from the perspective of men and women alike. As should be clear from the title, this book isn't for kids and the content can be pretty racy. If you aren't easily offended, however, it will probably be the most humorous book you read this year. I'd give it more than 5 stars if I could.
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175 of 213 people found the following review helpful By Vince A. on July 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Note to Kindle owners - download the first chapter of the book. If the first chapter makes you laugh then you may enjoy the book. If you're not laughing at that point it doesn't get much better.

I've just finished reading the book and it was one of the hardest times I've ever had finishing a book. Although there are a few laughs here and there, the book wasn't hilarious to say the least. You might laugh once and then wait another chapter or three before the next one comes along. I bought the book because of all of the "rave - laugh out loud" reviews I saw from other readers.

I didn't have a problem with the language, the off-color humor or any of the "offensive" things that were said in the book - it was just boring and not funny. What made it even worse is when some of the gags were used multiple times. For example in one story someone looks like they have Buckwheat in a leg-lock, a few chapters later someone looks like they have a clown in a leg-lock. Again, I was compelled to review this book because I couldn't believe so many people rated it 5-stars. I like her on TV, but the book was a snoozer.
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65 of 77 people found the following review helpful By Yinzer Grrl on April 21, 2011
Format: Paperback
Chelsea is touted as one of the top comedy writers in the industry. This book is touted as "hilarious."

HOW can that BE?

At best, I may have smiled a time or two in the first few chapters (and honestly, that's as far as I got). What bothered me the most? She'd reference certain periods of time and consistently got facts wrong.

The book opens in 1984 with her lying to a boy about being a movie actress, in which she claims to have read everything about the making of the Breakfast Club. Odd, since that movie wasn't released until 1985. She finds herself in prison at the age of 21 (1996), wondering if they have Internet there. Odd, since, in 1996 most people had only a slight grasp of the internet (via AOL) and since it wasn't the easiest thing to navigate back then, the only ones addicted to it were geeks. During the strip search, she claims no one laughed at her "junk in the trunk" reference. Well that's most likely because no one USED that phrase back then. She goes on to say that after her release from prison, she'd (sarcastically) planned on researching the name of the woman for whom the jail was named, by googling it. Um. Come ON. There WAS no Google in 1996.

So is the entire book just a poorly written, poorly researched lie? How did this end up on ANY bestseller list? I couldn't take any more and stopped reading. I'll donate it. Maybe someone somewhere needs a good door stop.
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104 of 131 people found the following review helpful By Laura Jean on May 3, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Let me first be clear that I love Chelsea Handler. I DVR her show every night, I've even been to a taping in her studio and I even have tickets to her upcoming standup appearance.

Her first book was hilarious, but this one just misses the mark. Yes, there were a handful of times that I burst out laughing - she is a brilliant comedian. But the book is extremely disjointed and it was a struggle to see it through to the end. Was she just trying to fill up space? And why is Chuey all over the cover (my guess - to sell books) he's not mentioned once in the book (except for in the Acknowledgements).

I really can't figure out if she tried too hard, or didn't try hard enough.

Blah...I recommend saving your money. Sorry Chels...
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful By L. D. Merkl on May 17, 2009
Format: Hardcover
The first story in this memoir begins when CH is seven and the last one is when she's in her thirties. There's her adventures in babysitting; her I-don't-want-to-go-to-someone's-party story; the midget story; and one where she takes her dad on vacay. I read this thinking she would have the "Seinfeld" gift of taking the mundane and making it funny (Jerry turned waiting for table at a Chinese restaurant and losing your car in a garage into comedy gold). She doesn't. CH took the mundane and kept it that there. Maybe these stories are funny when you're drunk and she's slurring them to you. Also, her L.A Sex and the City life seems kind of sad and seedy. Some of these stories make her come off as plain mean. She's funnier on TV.
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65 of 81 people found the following review helpful By Harvey on May 4, 2008
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a laugh-out-loud book, great for the beach, not so good for a plane where your laughing will wake babies and make the other passengers jealous they don't have a copy. I got mine for my Kindle and I read it in one sitting. Seriously, pretty freaking funny.
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful By PennyBooker on June 4, 2009
Format: Hardcover
When shopping for a few good "reads", I thought I'd try a genre different from my usual mysteries, thrillers or historic novels. Here we go...some Humor! After anxiously awaiting Chelsea's books, I dove right in after they arrived. Fellow readers: Save your money. The author's stand up routines on YouTube would have given you 90% of what was written. Some humor is not meant to be copied from "Stand-Up" to paper. It was bound nicely and had clear print. This will be in my 25 cent box at the next garage sale.
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