Armed and Outrageous (An Agnes Barton Mystery) [Kindle Edition]

Madison Johns (Author), Robert Walker (Editor)

Book Description

Senior sleuth — Grandma Mazur meets Murder She Wrote — cozy mystery.

Agnes Barton is not your typical senior citizen living in Tadium, MI, on the shores of Lake Huron. She drives a red hot Mustang, shops at Victoria's Secret, rankles local police officials, and has a knack for sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.

What does a murder that happened forty-three years ago have to do with missing tourist Jennifer Martin? Agnes makes it her personal mission to find out, and she's not letting the fact she's seventy-two get in the way. Butting heads with Sheriff Clem Peterson is something she's accustomed to, but lately Clem seems to be acting even more strange, making Agnes wonder what he may be hiding ala the Martin disappearance.

Agnes’ partner in crime, Eleanor Mason tags along, Watson to her Holmes.
Together, they unearth clues. If only Eleanor would behave, as although lovable, she has a knack for getting into trouble by tangling with her rival, Dorothy Alton, or flirting with anyone—male or female—and gossiping! She's incorrigible, but she does carry a Pink Lady revolver in her purse, one that has proved useful at times.

Life for Agnes and Eleanor is shaken up when Agnes' former boss and secret crush comes to Tadium. Before long, the lady sleuths have more on their hands to contend with as goons roll into town and bullets begin to fly.

Adult content.

Product Details

• File Size: 517 KB
• Print Length: 262 pages
• Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
• Publisher: Outrageous Books; 3 edition (April 29, 2012)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B007Z5Y30Q
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #101,460 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

41 of 43 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Armed and Outrageous by Madison Johns May 3, 2012

By Karen Doering

Format:Kindle Edition

Armed and Outrageous is a cozy little mystery set on the shores of Lake Huron.

Agnes Barton is still grieving the mysterious disappearance of her granddaughter a year after she was reported missing. But not only has her granddaughter disappeared so have several other young women. All tourists or visitors to their small town. The local sheriff hasn't been able to crack the case. The news media, what there is in the small town, don't seem all that interested and it seems Agnes is going to have to find the answers for herself.

She may be in her 70's but Agnes is not anyone's typical grandmother. With her pink lady firmly placed in her purse, her nose for clues and a go forth attitude, Agnes is going to investigate until she finds her granddaughter. Nothing will stop her, not the police, not an old crush and not the people of the town. With her trusted sidekick, Eleanor, Agnes decides it is time for her to take steps to resolve the case herself.

Along the way she must solve a decades old mystery, take on the sheriff, face down the bad guys and save the day. No problem for a 72 year old grandmother with a red Mustang and a perchance for solving puzzles.

With a quirky, fun and amusing cast of oddball characters Ms. Johns has created a new cozy mystery protagonist who is intelligent and creative. Someone we could invite over for dinner or coffee and talk about the local goings on. Well if only she can find her teeth.

Nicely written with a tight plot and good flow this is a good summer beach read or a nice afternoon with a cup of tea and a few scones.

Karen Bryant Doering,
Parent's Little Black Book

37 of 39 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Cozy Mystery with Sex, Drugs and....Grandma! May 21, 2012

By mel

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

As mysteries go, this is probably not your grandmother's "cozy," but it may be your grandmother! Agnes Barton, a 72 year-old widow, is sometimes down, but never out. She's got a hot car and a hotter wardrobe, and an insatiable desire for...justice. While there have been other elderly female sleuths - Agatha Christie's Miss Marple comes immediately to mind - I doubt there have been the likes of Agnes Barton and her side-kick Eleanor Mason. Not content to sip tea and eat a crumpet or two, Agnes is all action and always on the go. She'll solve this crime or die trying (and almost does). The story revolves around - and weaves together - a newly missing young woman (Jennifer), a previously missing young woman (Agnes's granddaughter) and an unsolved crime from 1968. Toss in an old flame who's back in town, a rather inept sheriff, some out-of-town "goons," and an understanding State Trooper, then season with a bit of sass, a special "lipstick" that would make James Bond blush, some very adult shenanigans and a pinch of pot, and you've got the perfect mix for a great read. And did I mention the cat...and the mice? Oh, and be prepared to laugh...a lot.

While the mystery itself is well handled, what really makes this book a stand-out is the portrayal of the old folks who populate the story. Madison clearly knows the elderly, and not only has a handle on how they talk - and what they talk about - but also is very adept at showing us the humorous side of old age. But more importantly, Madison also sensitively delves into the things not generally discussed - the need for companionship, love, sex, and the difficulty of adjusting to the loss of a spouse. Her people are real people, with real needs, and they are not afraid to talk about them - or seek out ways to meet them. It is clear that Madison has affection for her characters.

This book is a first-class read. It moves along well, is full of colorful characters, and is very, very funny. I can't wait for the sequels; I'd like to see these people again. Madison has described this book as a "cozy," and that's exactly how you should be when you start this...and a glass of wine would be just fine, too.

28 of 30 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Ready, Set, Read! May 4, 2012

By Terry

Format:Kindle Edition

Armed and Outrageous is a funny, warm, charming story of two mature women who have experienced life's losses but have come out stronger and wiser. Madison Johns has captured their enthusiasm, their confidence, their courage and their friendship, telling a good story while bringing the reader into the world of today's 'spunky seniors.'

Young women are disappearing from this small town in Michigan. The residents don't want to believe that anything serious links these disappearances ... just as they didn't want to pursue finding the killer responsible for a crime decades old. But Agnes and Eleanor have a personal interest in finding out what is going on, as Agnes' granddaughter is one of the missing girls.

With humor and bravado they persist in asking pesky questions. They learn to fire pistols after an unintended shot wounds one of the newcomers in town. Their exchanges with the local sheriff and the state police vary widely, ranging from scorn to hilarious scenes.

Madison Johns weaves romance sensitively into the story, allowing her senior characters to express their romantic interests realistically. The younger generation of local teenagers in entry level jobs is portrayed as being uninformed and disrespectful of the human side of elders. And the vulnerabilities of the families of those missing are gently exposed.

If you want a chuckle, a mystery, a beautiful, serene setting with a vicious criminal being pursued by incompetent local police and these ladies, you will love this book, and no doubt look for more from these characters and their creator, Madison Johns.

More About the Author

Amazon bestseller ~ Armed and Outrageous.


Author Madison Johns early days weren't spent writing -- they were spent dreaming. Her vivid imagination ran wild and took her places only dreams could. She read books, tons of books, they were her only friends. As a child, Madison Johns preferred to distance herself from other children her age, and had been described as a dreamer. Even as a small child, she remembers staying awake many a night fighting dragons, whisked away to foreign lands, or meeting the man of her dreams. She was a voracious reader of historical romance in her teen years and has always wished to one day journey to England, France, Ireland, and Scotland

The writing bug bit her at the age of 44 and she pounded out four books since that time. As the publishing climate changed she took a risk and decided to self publish, first a collection of two horror short stories geared for YA, Coffin Tales Season of Death.

Madison's caring nature had led her to work in the healthcare field, where she was employed as a nursing care assistant at a nursing home, and it was there that she was inspired to write her first mystery, Armed and Outrageous, introducing amateur detective, Agnes Barton. The book depicts two elderly ladies digging up clues with enough laugh out loud antics to make James Bond blush.


In late April of 2012 she released her first novel, Armed and Outrageous and it went on to become the #1 senior sleuth on Amazon.