Customer Reviews

Army of the Dead

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I'll never get those four hours back. I miss them already.

For those of you who have not yet read this turkey, unless you want to know where it went wrong, better stop reading now. Spoilers ahead.

There's no doubt that Edo Van Belkom can write. He's pretty good at describing places and situations, character interaction is well done, and the dialogue isn't half-bad. I'm somewhat curious about his other works. This is the sign of a decent writer. The book was not edited well, and I caught several mistakes in dialogue when a character's lines were given to another, causing some confusion. The reader is forced to make the correction so it makes sense.

The story is well written, and anyone unfamiliar with the world of Esfah and the game of Dragon Dice would probably enjoy it quite a bit as a small fantasy novel. The only real drawback to his writing style is that the story takes itself too seriously, with very little comic bantering between characters, and nothing that would give even a dim smile to a reader. In fact, the only thing funny in the book is a fart reference, which oddly enough, struck me as being out of place and almost forced, as if he thought the situation called for a poor joke. For me, it fell flat. I did, however, turn to my friend and say, "Well, it's about time he tried to write something funny!" Pretty sad.

Now the bad parts, and I do mean bad. I thought "Cast of Fate" was bad, but it's got nothing on this stinker.

This book was loaned to me. Because of that, I was unable to throw it across the room in disgust on several occasions when I really longed to, and I can't burn it in a sacrificial ritual of cleansing. I was only able to set the book down and take several deep breaths to calm myself before picking it up again.

It's obvious from early on in the book that ol' Edo didn't research the game he was writing about beyond the very basics. In the second chapter the Warlord Adelric uses earth magic (gold) to adjust the terrain in his backyard into a garden, basically sculpting it to his vision. A warlord? Using magic? What gives? True, in the game a warlord can draw magic if the ID is rolled, but here it just doesn't fit. In fact, Adelric takes an old friend; who just happens to be Dorian, a Selumari enchanter, on a tour of his town. They witness theurgists and thaumaturgists working magic to make funny sculptures as practice exercises in magic. Not what I'd consider the best way to hone your talents, and nothing in the Dragon Dice mythology suggests this skill. In fact, any old dwarf can work magic, not just those specifically trained for it.

However, very little fire magic is used unless the dwarves want fire. No instances of Ash Storms, Dancing Lights or even Spark of Life. None! The Undead however, use vast amounts of magic, mostly to resurrect dead bodies. But, (and this is a big but!), they also use magic to cause a swampland area to grow, turning a flatland into a swampland. When was this a part of the game? Unless I'm mistaken (and I'll admit it if I am), there has never been an Undead spell that transforms a terrain into a swamp. Give it the black element, yes. But not change it entirely. Another big no-no was having the Undead leader use a Path spell. Where did she get access to gold magic? No explanation is given, and the Undead are unable to use anything other than black magic.

In the course of the story a red dragon is summoned by the dwarves. This is about the only thing he did get right, describing its summoning quite well, and the effects it has on both armies. The only mistake here is that the dragon attacked and then disapated without either army getting a return attack. Again, it's part of the game. Accuracy counts! If it had flown away to wreak havoc elsewhere it would have made more sense. Better yet, it should have stuck around until it was killed. Some might say that it rolled the wing icon and flew away, but that's not the way he wrote it, and I was very disappointed. Two pages later the Undead consider summoning their own dragon, which is referred to as an Undead dragon. Huh? Undead dragons? Black dragons are the incarnation of the Death element, they're not Undead. ARGH!

Among the characters Warlord Adelric is well written. An old warrior ready for peace and agonizing over a coming battle. I liked him, but I didn't like how easily he could use magic. There are several references to actual dwarf ranks, and they are used correctly. So Edo at least got that right. But just as he earns praise from me for getting something right, he louses it all up again. The Undead are led by a heucava named Renata. Not a lich as would be expected. A heucava is not one of the stronger units in the game! In fact, other than than the Vaghan warlord and the Selumari enchanter, no other rare units are mentioned. Bad Edo, bad! Another thing that made me almost slam the book down is when a ghoul (named Peregrine, shades of Lord of the Rings!), unearths a lava elf wolf-rider.

Did that make anyone else blink and say, "What?" I'm not kidding. A Morehl wolf-rider . Last time I checked, the lava elves had wyvern-riders, scorpion-knights and spider-riders. This should be an indication of the many other numerous mistakes that are to be found within the pages of this disaster.

It's obvious that this story was written just prior to the Feral kickers getting released. While the Amazons and Firewalkers get a mention (and the 'walkers get one sentence in the entire book), the Feral are not spoke of until almost the very end, in a vague reference to them and the "younger races." Use them or leave them out entirely!

My last nitpick (and it's a doozy to dwarf lovers), is that the children of Eldurim & Firiel don't even live within the earth. Nope, they've given up the mountains they are part of and live in peaceful seaside villages complete with harbors, not far from a small plain and a largish swamp area. To me, this was the most unforgiveable part of the story.

In conclusion, I'm not happy I read "Army of the Dead," but as a lover of all things Dragon Dice I felt obligated. Now I wish I'd heeded the warnings. I wouldn't be so upset. Pass on this one, gang. It's a major stinker. Read anything else, and I mean that. Including "Cast of Fate."

My little tirade is now concluded. I'm going to go read Harry Potter 6 again just to get this bomb out of my mind.