Customer Reviews

Around Sarah's Table: Ten Hasidic Women Share Their Stories of Life, Faith, and Tradition

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

What Amy Tan did for the world of Chinese women in "The Joy Luck Club," this book does for Hasidic women's culture. Riva Zakutinsky and Yaffa Leiba Gottlieb (both Hasidic themselves), have given the public a highly-readable, intimate window into a world that would otherwise be inaccessible to most outsiders. The result is an excellent book that will make you laugh, cry, and truly realize how the common humanity we all share can shine through outward differences. I plan to recommend this book to my neighbors, my local libraries, and readers of my Hasidism FAQ. Like "Joy Luck Club," it would make a great movie, too. If I were a film producer, I'd jump at the chance!

The ten women who gather around Sarah's Table every Tuesday for lunch and Torah study are very religious Jews, but definitely not plaster saints. (Is that a mixed metaphor?) They struggle daily with the same types of life challenges facing women (and men) the world over: caring for developmentally challenged children, coping with a serious illness in the family, becoming a step-parent, balancing home and personal life with a career.

Oh yes, some of these women DO have careers outside the home. For example, there's Shaina, author of a series of Jewish children's books. And Reva, Shaina's publisher, whose husband encouraged her to start her business. Not to mention Klara, the attorney, whose strict Hasidic observance led her to open her own law firm rather than "sell out" to pressures to conform.

Of special interest to the outside world will be the chapter on Tamar, who is seeking the right "match" for her older daughter. As you will learn from her story, Hasidic matchmaking is not the same thing as an "arranged marriage." Naturally, Hasidic parents expect their children to marry Hasidim, and a matchmaker may help introduce a prospective couple to each other. But the man and woman decide for themselves whether to marry or not. This dates all the way back to the biblical story of Rebecca, who was asked if she wanted to marry Isaac. (See Genesis 24:57-58) Everyone, according to Hasidic teachings, has a destined match literallly made in heaven. Sometimes, however, we make the wrong choices here on earth. And sometimes, finding one's true soulmate can mean going to the ends of the earth -- as Klara's Polish mother learned in a tiny town in Russia.

One problem with the book is that the glossary assumes too much Judaic knowledge on the part of non-Jewish readers. While the more obscure Yiddish and Hebrew words are defined in the glossary, common ones like "Shabbos" (Sabbath) and "yeshiva" (academy of Jewish study) are not. And there is no pronunciation guide. Maybe these terms can be taken for granted in Brooklyn where the authors live, but they require explanation in areas where there are few Jews. (I myself live in a Midwestern town where people think my first name is "Robbi" and have no idea what a RABBI is -- until I say "Jewish minister.") I was also annoyed to see the late Lubovitcher Rebbe (Menachem Schneerson) defined as the "most recent leader of the worldwide Hasidic movement." He might be leader of the worldwide LUBOVITCH Hasidic movement (to which these women belong) but he's not my Hasidic leader -- I'm a Breslover Hasid. (Different group. There are over 150 other Hasidic groups besides Lubovitch. The biggest, by population, is probably Satmar.) Hopefully these glossary shortcomings will be corrected in future editions.

About me: I am an orthodox jewish woman, not from a chassidic community or lifestyle.

The title of this book led me to believe that this was non-fiction, and I was looking forward to reading about life in different chassidic communities from the women's point of view.

Instead, this is either a work of fiction or real people have been fictionalised. A group of women collects around Sarah's table for words of Torah and wisdom, a break from their struggles of the week.

The characters and their situations are believable, but the dialogue is poorly written, as if for a play. This group apparently breaks into applause when one of their members says something they approve of - does that happen around YOUR table? I found Sarah's continuous stream of optimism and platitudes annoying and unrealistic.She always had an answer; I wanted to tell her to stop comforting and explaining and just let people BE. I found her explanations of Torah over-simplified. I also didn't agree with all the conclusions the characters drew from the Torah - which is okay, there are many different ways to learn the same verse, but the explanation was presented as The Truth, as opposed to A Truth.

Read this for enjoyment, but not for enlightenment.

Around Sarah's Table (2001) is a set of 10 vignettes about Lubavitcher Hasidic women in modern American society. The ten women featured in this book are participants in a shiur (Torah class) held at lunchtime on Tuesdays in Sarah's home within Borough Park in Brooklyn. These women read a weekly parsha (portion), containing one or more quotations from the Torah and some commentary, and then discuss the lesson.

Shaina is a convert to Hasidic Judaism from a Reformed family and has not had much contact with other Hasidic women. She and her husband have adopted two Down's Syndrome children and Shaina is running herself into the ground trying to do everything for her children. Shaina is a writer of children's stories and Reva, her publisher, strongly suggests that she spend some time away from her children, so Shaina arranges for a sitter so that she can attend the shiur.

Reva started a small publishing house to provide stories suitable for instructing her own children in Hasidic values and has since expanded to an international operation. Her husband has always encouraged her efforts, but lately he has been much troubled by his diabetes. His condition is serious enough to require shots and other medical assistance and the burden of his care has fallen mainly on Reva. She is feeling overwhelmed by her responsibilities.

Tamar is a mother and homemaker who is concerned about a husband for her daughter Abigail. Her older children have been successfully married to compatible mates, but Abigail has not yet met a man that suits her. Moreover, a suitable mate for her younger son Ephraim has been found, but it is not appropriate for a young man to be married before his older sister.

Rachel is a resident of Williamsburg, the oldest Jewish community in Brooklyn. Her husband is a world-renowned authority on mikvahs (pools for ritual immersion). Rachel travels with him and teaches simple matters to young women who know little about mitzvahs (commandments). After years of performing such teaching, she suddenly realizes that there is much more that she can do to educate these young women.

Glika was born and raised in the only Torah home in Milan, Italy. Hasidic Jews from all over the world stayed with their family when visiting Milan. Due to this exposure, Glika's name and character were known to many people in many places. When it came time for her to marry, her family chose a man from Toronto, Canada, and she went to live with him in that city. They were happy and had many children, but one day the family business failed and they had to move to New York. Glika feels helpless and wonders what she can do to help her family.

Levana is a good wife to her husband, mother to her children, and daughter to her mother. Lately she is being overwhelmed by the demands put on her by her family, but she feels that she should try to do as much a possible for them. Her friends tell her that she should let them do more for themselves and she wonders if she should take this advice.

Klara is an exile from her homeland, Russia, having gotten out well before the first wave of immigrants arrived. She becomes a lawyer and eventually starts her own practice. Although she can usually set her own hours, sometimes circumstances cause scheduling conflicts. She wishes that she had more time with the grandchildren, but she has responsibilities.

Erica was widowed with a young daughter. She marries again to a divorced man and becomes the step-mother to two boys. She is moving from their old house in Borough Park to a larger one in Lawrence, Long Island, where the boys will have a large yard in which to play. She is pleased with the new house, but she feels uncertain as to her role in the new community.

Ora had a life-threatening illness in her twenties and she has since been determined to make the best of her opportunities. She has been teaching young Russian women their heritage as Jews and looks upon them as her own spiritual children. She also writes poems, not very great poetry yet uplifting, and sends them to friends that she thinks could use some brightness in their lives. She believes that she is a lamplighter, but doesn't believe that she is a courageous woman.

Sarah is the leader. Unlike other Hasidic women, she accidentally meets her future husband on an airliner, they fall in love, and the Lubavitcher Rebbe gives special permission for them to marry. Her husband becomes the principal of Beth Jacob Schools for Girls in Brooklyn. At first Sarah is caught up in a whirlwind of activity, but then she begins to lose energy and can't do anything right. She and her husband take some time away from work and children to discuss her problem and, after this discussion, she resolves to start a shiur for women.

These ten vignettes are beautifully written and depict a wide variety of events and circumstances in the lives of Hasidic women, including death, divorce, and illness. Since these stories are written as extensions of the Torah lessons, they always end with an answer or resolution. Thus, these are not stories of tragedy and major crises, but the everyday problems of normal human beings.

This book contains many Hebrew and Yiddish terms, but most are immediately explained, are understandable from context, or can be ignored. A glossary is provided at the back for other terms, but it is probably better to ignore this appendix the first time through so as to maintain the flow. However, it is handy for perusal when re-reading the book.

Since I am not Jewish, this book answered some questions, but also opened up many more. It does seem to be a good starting point for study of Hasidic Judaism and contains a bibliography of more scholarly works.

Recommended for anyone who is curious about the role of women in Lubavitcher Hasidic Judaism.

-Bill Jordin

This book was engrossing and enjoyable - I was very interested in all of the characters and would have loved to have more on how their dilemnas worked out. It was very interesting to see them apply religious values to work out the common problems and challenges of adoption, step children, an invalid husband, an unmarried daughter - and the incredibly high standards of kindness and selflessness they live up to. so different from the 'me' world of our consumer society.

From the very first page, I felt as though I actually "entered into" the lives of these women, and was a part of Sarah's Table. What a privilege to peek into the minds and hearts of these good people. Each has her own baggage to carry around, like the rest of us, yet their weekly meetings give support, love and the appropriate words of Torah to lighten their load. I cannot recommend "Around Sarah's Table" enough!

I did NOT want to put this down! Really truly an interesting and enlightening view of Hasidic Judaism. As a Christian, the insight is invaluable. READ THIS!

(4.5 stars)

This book, with its stories about ten different women, paints a vibrant picture of what it's really like to be a modern Hassidic woman. Too often the Hassidic and Hareidi communities (particularly the women) are horribly stereotyped, with people believing such things as how they're all unhappy, oppressed, seen as little more than brood mares, and denied an education. And while obviously the way of life for women in this world isn't exactly the same as it is for a woman in one of the non-Orthodox denominations, as we learn through these stories, these women are anything but unhappy, ignorant, and oppressed. Their whole lives revolve around the Torah and the various commentaries (such as Midrash, Gemara, and Rashi), but they're not letting their husbands and other men in their lives do all of the learning for them. They come to Sarah's table every Tuesday to learn Torah insights and wisdom by themselves. Being able to learn and interpret these sacred texts, as opposed to a hundred years ago when the vast majority of Hassidic women really weren't given a thorough education (but neither were women in the non-Jewish world), is very important for them. Not only do they need to be well-versed in these texts to teach their children, they also need this knowledge so they can empower themselves. This really is a very empowering book for women, what with seeing the possibilities for being an educated involved self-aware empowered woman in the frum world.

Each of the women has her own personal issues, many of them shattering the myth that women in this community are nothing but housewives and baby-makers. Klara, for example, is a high-profile lawyer, Reva started her own publishing house for religious children's books, and Sarah met her husband in real time, on an aeroplane, instead of through a shidduch. The dilemmas they deal with could also be related to by any woman; for example, Erica is dealing with being a stepmother, Glicka and her family are struggling with a much-reduced station in life after their business went sour, Ora almost died in her twenties due to nephritis, and Reva is dealing with her diabetic husband's health condition. There were times that my sense of cultural and moral relativism seemed strained (such as the idea that wearing a wig instead of covering your hair with just a hat or scarf is a guarantor of future blessings, and, especially, the Orthodox belief that the Oral Law was Divinely revealed at Sinai, and thus even Midrashim that seem quite preposterous, even disturbing and offensive, to many a modern person, are to be taken literally and inerrantly).

However, I had to remind myself that these women's sensibilities, beliefs, and choices are radically different from mine. It doesn't make them inferior or bad, just radically different. Tolerance does run both ways, even when I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable at phrases like "Torah values" and "Torah Judaism" (the subtle implication being, to many of us who aren't Orthodox, that our own Jewish experiences aren't true to the Torah just becaue we're not extremely Orthodox). There's also a bit on page 157, in which, according to Hebrew letters, America means "nation empty of God" (I for one am deeply thankful we have separation of church and state, and can't fathom why people, such as these women, who aren't of the nation's majority religion don't feel the same), and Russia means "evil" (just because the USSR was officially atheist, as though atheism is so wrong and evil). That kind of triumphalism does make me dock the book half a star, no matter how inspiring it otherwise was. Being Hareidi or Hassidic is A way to be observant and have a meaningful beautiful Jewish life. It is not THE way. For example, just like they couldn't imagine not having met their husbands through a matchmaker or their relatives, I would be horrified and creeped out if my own parents got so intimately involved in finding me a husband. The story of Levana also really depressed me. The nine other women seemed empowered and doing things for themselves, but it was so obvious that she and Aaron needed some serious marriage counseling (not necessarily a divorce). It sends such a horrible message to women in similar situations that they need to continue praying, being a buffer zone, putting their own needs and wants last for the sake of everyone else, and absorbing a partner's insults and shabby treatment in the belief that it's making them stronger people, that with enough patience and time he'll change when you're the only one making the effort to be a better person. I'm sure they could have found some counselor in their ultra-frum community whom Aaron could have felt comfortable with.

In spite of the occasional triumphalism and the depressing frustrating story of Levana, this is a very good book. (I also could have done without the Ashkenazic transliterations, and mentally translated them into the proper Sephardic ones in my head as I read. Apart from a couple of really common ones, like Shabbos or tallis, they just look so shtetl, ugly, and backwoods, not to mention just plain incorrect.) Too many people are misinformed about what the lives of Hassidic women are really like, and this book shows them in all their multi-faceted glory. It is possible to be an educated empowered woman in this world, even if their way of being feminist and empowered is radically different from mine.

Ten women deal with a variety of modern problems, all of whom are Hasidic Jews. They gather together once a week for a session of learning Torah (Genesis) while they grapple with the committments that keep them from attending. One woman has two children with Down's sysndrome, another has recently faced a severe financial setback, another grapples with the demands of her religion v.s. her personal desire to be viewed as a modern woman, and many other issues are raised. Each woman places her personal problem in the context of the weekly Torah learning. The juxtaposition is great. I really felt a kinship for all of the women involved. The only time I was left wanting was the woman who felt that she was being selfish by not subsuming her desires under the desires of her family and parents. I felt that she needed a more feminist perspective. All of the other women I felt were making healthy choices, even if they were not choices that I would make for myself.

I really don't like books in which the author "writes down to" the readers as if they were children or just simple. This was my feeling throughout the book. The characters were likable and their stories were interesting but the dialog was rubbish. Real people (even very religious ones) do not talk like this. I forced myself to finish the book but I really feel that Sarah was not only a plaster saint but just "too good to be true."
Summary: Inspiring tales - horrible writing.

This book is written on around a 4th grade reading level, so if you are a person who is irritated by this type of writing (and you know who you are!) you might not want to waste your money on this book. I did not think the book was an especially enjoyable read, or containing anything that other Jewish women's books, many of which are much more interesting, do not already have.